Camera Shy (Louis Tomlinson) Book 5

Chapter 41

**WARNING GET YOUR KLEENEX READY**

I was in shock. I could barely hear Hunter calling my name to see if I was still there. Logan sees my face and manages to pry the phone out of my hand in order to see what’s wrong. My throat feels like it’s been swollen shut. I couldn’t breathe. No, not Blake. Not my beautiful Blake. My mind races through different scenarios, each growing more and more gruesome. What if he didn’t make it? That thought causes me to choke out a sob, a hand quickly muffling my mouth. Logan is on the phone with Hunter a couple minutes before he hangs up, sitting down next to me.

“Blake’s ok. His vehicle was hit by a roadside bomb.” He says slowly, as if not sure if I’m even hearing him.  “He’s at a military hospital right now, but they think he’ll be stable enough to move back home in a week.” He’s alive. He’s alive. I repeat it to myself over and over again, knowing it was the only way I’d be able to hold myself together. Oh god Blake. No. The tears are streaming forth and I can’t stop them. Logan pulls me against his chest, his hand running down my hair as he attempts to calm me down, but it’s no use. I couldn’t be calmed. When he does realize this, he just holds me tighter until I finally cry myself to sleep.

The next morning, I awaken on a couch with a blanket strewn over me. I blink a couple times to let my eyes adjust to the light as I sit up. My throat feels scratchy and my eyes hurt from all the crying. That’s when it all slams down on me. Blake was hurt. I feel the tears well up in my eyes again, but this time, I’m able to keep them inside. I look around, realizing I must have fallen asleep in Logan’s apartment last night.

“Hey, you’re up” I look up to see Logan’s roommate emerge from the kitchen. “Logan said not to wake you, that he didn’t think you’d want to go to class today” I nod my head, not trusting myself to speak. “He said you’re welcome to stay here as long as you want. He should be back from class soon.” I nod and he gives me one last long look before disappearing into his room. I curl into the blanket, turning on the tv, but I can’t focus on what’s on. I stare unseeingly ahead, trying to remain as numb as possible. If I didn’t think, I wouldn’t think about Blake, and that’s the only way I could handle it right now. The sound of a door opening and closing eventually snaps me out of the trance I was in and I turn to see Logan in the door.

“Hey” he says softly. “How’re you feeling.” I just stare at him, unblinking.

“Everything will be ok,” he says quietly, taking a seat next to me.

“I just want to go home” I choke. He gives a small nod.

“Your brother said as soon as Blake is home, he’ll get you a flight.” He hesitates a moment before adding, “You’re welcome to stay here as long as you want.” I shake my head. I just wanted to go home and curl under my blankets and sleep it all away. He nods his head and when I stand up, he gets my coat and backpack for me. If I wasn’t so out of myself at the moment, I’d be embarrassed at the child-like way he was treating me; helping me into my coat and passing me my backpack.

“Do you want me to walk you home?” he asks, but I shake my head no. I needed some time alone. I leave his apartment, walking the couple blocks to mine. The walk is only 4 blocks, but I almost break down at least 10 times. I probably looked awful to anyone I passed. I get home, expecting my roommates to all be at class of their own, but I’m surprised to see them sitting on the couch. The second they see me, they’re up, smothering me in a hug.

“Logan texted us” Peyton explains. And once again, I break into tears as my friends hold me tight.

The next week and a half is probably the worst of my life. I barely left my room besides to get food. I skipped all classes unless I had to turn in an assignment, and I called off work. It wasn’t until Thursday, that Hunter finally called to tell me Blake was coming home. I almost burst into tears again when he tells me I have a flight home the next day. The second I’m off the phone with him, I’ve managed to throw together the most haphazard suitcase ever. It was Thanksgiving break so I’d be able to stay longer without having to return to school. The only thing to be thankful for in this whole god-forsaken thing. When I get to the airport, Hunter is waiting for me and I’m in his arms in seconds. He knows better than to say anything, just holding me as if I’m about to fall apart until I’m finally able to breathe again. The tightness in my chest loosens, but I know it won’t be gone until I can see Blake for myself. To make sure he’s all right. Since I found out, all I’d been able to do is visualize his injuries. What if he was in coma? What if he’d had memory loss? What if he was brain dead?  That thought chilled me to the bone. Hunter seems to pick up on my thought process because he squeezes me extra tight.