You took my heart, could I please have it back?

[42] You took my heart, could I please have it back?

.:Recap:.

Before I could answer, Alex randomly cut in.

"Liz...five years ago, something happened to your mum, didn't it? But what?"

I grimaced as images replayed in my head, guilt washing over me in huge waves. Tears pricked my eyes.

"I thought your mum was a business woman?" James enquired, confused, and that's when I couldn't take it any longer.

"No," I said shortly, tears starting to fall. "My mum's dead."

.:Story Start:.

A shocked silence followed my words. James' face was priceless.

"But...you said...she was a business woman..." he looked really confused. And as I met his eyes, I saw a huge depth of guilt in them, guilt, and sympathy. I didn't particularly want to spill my guts out, but now I couldn't stop. I had revealed one secret, now I had to reveal the rest.

"She died when I was eleven. In a car accident. 'The Accident,' I call it. Mum had just picked me up from school on the last day of term, and we were going to go on holiday that summer," I said, my voice shaking as I recalled dad telling me we were going to Greece for three weeks.

"But then, we were a couple of streets away from home, and some idiot pulled out of his road too quickly and just went straight into mum's car, on her side," I said, barely able to stand upright. Alex wrapped an arm round my waist and led me into the kitchen. We all sat down, everyone looking at me.

"I saw it coming. I should have said something. I thought it was going to stop, so I didn't. But I realised the car wasn't going to stop, but I still didn't say anything. I was confused. And then it just went straight into us, at like fifty miles an hour," I said, tears now falling down my cheeks.

"Our car rolled over, but something had happened to catch it alight. Mum was unconscious, because it had hit her side, but I was still awake," my voice was trembling badly; I could barely speak. But I had to let it out.

"The fire started at the front of the car, on my side. I tried to open my door but I'd broken three of my fingers, and I couldn't reach past the airbag with my other hand. I ended up smashing the window and getting out through there; think how small I am now, and imagine how small I was five years ago," I closed my eyes as I could almost smell the smoke.

"I landed badly on the road, but I still tried to get up and go round to let my mum out. But the door was crumpled and wouldn't open. I knew I wouldn't be able to get her out through the window. She was too big and heavy for me to lift." I pressed my hands against my eyes, my elbows on the table, leaning my head on them as I told the story.

"I couldn't do anything. I tried to kick the door, I tried to force it open, but it just wouldn't open. The firemen, ambulance and police came just then, but by now the whole car was alight," I was sobbing desperately, as hard as I had been that afternoon. I felt Alex's familiar, warm touch around my shoulders. It comforted me a little, but not enough.

I was silent for a little while, trying to compose myself before I started on what happened afterwards. James broke the silence, his voice unnaturally weak. He sounded so weird.

"Liz, I'm sorry," he said, very quietly. I remained silent, still rather angry at him, but even more so at myself.

"That's not even half of it," I muttered, looking up finally. He frowned, and I sighed and leaned back. Now for the even longer story.

"When my dad found out, he went mental. He smashed up half the house, shouting, screaming, swearing. I thought he would hit me, but he didn't. There was barely even enough of mum to distinguish her from the car. He had every right to be angry." I bit my lips as I remembered the terrifying moments when a glass vase smashed inches away from my feet, or something.