Pretending to be Married (destiel)

Chapter 18

Turns out where they went from there was to bed.

Without alcohol in their systems cuddling was a lot harder. There were too many elbows and not enough space. One would get comfy and the other would complain and then they'd shift and it would be worse. They did their awkward shuffles in silence, so unsure of what to say.

When finally they got comfy, limbs entangled messily, Dean felt Cas kiss him gently on the shoulder before snuggling down. Both drifted in and out of sleep, it was a beautiful, comfortable daze. Hours slipped by but the two didn't care because this was the calm before the storm and they both knew it. In a few hours when they get up everything will have to be spoken about, this moment is all they have.

At some point between day and night Dean gets up to wee. He had tried to ignore it but his bladder was cramping up and beginning to really hurt.

As he rolled out of bed he felt Cas reach out to him blindly with confusion. Dean grabbed his hand and put it back. "I'm human Cas, I need to pee." He slowly shuffled towards the bathroom hoping that if he got back quick enough he could cuddle back down into the bed and both could drift off back to sleep. No such luck.

When Dean got back Cas was sat up, not quite awake but too awake to sleep again. With a sigh Dean grabbed his dressing gown, "I'll go make a pot of coffee."

With every step down the stairs the day before came back to him, crap. "So yesterday wasn't just some muddled dream?" he grumbled to himself as he turned the corner.

"No."

Dean jumped in surprise at a response. What the fuck? Instinct set in and Dean grabbed the nearest thing to him to act as a weapon: a mug. When the sudden shock died down and Dean's vision focused out he saw a laughing Sam sat at the kitchen table. With an annoyed groan Dean out the mug down. "WHAT THE HELL SAMMY?!" "You-you shit yourself!" His laughter was booming through the entire room. "SAMMY!"

The younger brother looked up, shoulders still shaking and wiping tears from his eyes, "I've never see you so scared." "Stop laughing at me," Dean moaned as he walked towards the coffee. "Why the hell are you in our cabin?"

"You do realise what time it is right?" Dean looked up at the clock and sighed: 1pm. "I came over for breakfast, knocked for 15 minutes and then let myself in." "The door was locked Sam." "And?" He grinned at Dean's huff. "I wasn't going to let something as small as that keep me away from breakfast."

Dean turned and lent on the counter, "So what do you want?" Sam grinned again, "Already ate Dean." Dean turned to look at the sink and there was a pile of dishes, "Bitch." "Jerk." God he hates his brother, Dean thought with a smile.

"So, Cas told me about what you wrote in that letter."

Dean spun around to look at Sam, "I don't know what you mean." He said stubbornly. He smirked, "Sammy when was the last time you think I even picked up a pen for anything other than to sign my name?" "Come on Dean, I know you. I know whenever things get too much in your head you write them down. Don't lie to me." Dean turned away, shaking his head, "Look Sammy-" "DON'T... Don't, look Sammy me Dean. You have feelings, we all do, you can't spend your entire life ignoring them!" Sam said with a sigh.

Suddenly the kitchen felt too small for everything the brothers had between them.

Sam was the first to break the silence, "Fine, if you don't want to talk to me, please tell me you've spoken to Cas?" Dean's silence answered his question. "Dean!"

Dean snapped, "Look Sam, I get that this touchy feely crap is what you do. That you like touching and talking about all the little emotions and thoughts and feelings you have inside you, but I don't, okay? What I wrote in that letter was never supposed to see the light of day, let alone Castiel's eyes! The closest light that that letter was getting was the flames on the hob! The only reason it didn't get that far is because I threw up! Stop trying to make everything like your dumbass chick flicks, this is real life, shit does not work out. What I may or may not feel for Cas doesn't matter, because why, WHY, would an angel ever fall for me?! What I feel doesn't matter, leave it be!"

And with that Dean went to walk out the door. Sam put his head in his hands.

Cas, who was just walking down the stairs, saw Dean walking towards the door and his first thought was to call out "Dean, don't be late for the meeting."

As Dean slammed the door Cas realised how stupid he sounded and mentally yelled at himself as he walked to the door to greet Sam. He nodded at the taller Winchester and grabbed coffee before sitting down opposite him. "Thank you Sam." Confusion spread across Sam's face, Cas smiled sadly, "I heard." After that Cas disappeared into his own thoughts.

Here you go guys, I hope you enjoy. Please leave me comments telling me what you thought and if you have any ideas on bits I could incorporate in :) thanks lovelies x