From The Start (1st Draft)

Chapter 36

Chapter 36

A while passed, and there were times Alexander would sleep instead of going outside in the sun. Stephanie and I began to hang out more, going swimming with Darlene, tanning, and just enjoying the warm fresh air. In my thoughts though, he never left my mind. I wished for him to feel better, but it didn't seem to work, so I just let everything fall into place. What was meant to be, would happen.

Summer kept flying by, and my relationship with Alex was beginning to get hard at times, mostly because he started to put up a wall between us. He was quiet, and don't get me wrong, I obviously couldn't blame him. He admitted to me that he was scared, and I also was too, but I wasn't the one struggling through his battle. He was. And he was still alive. That's all that I cared about...

The very next visit to the hospital was different. Alexander was hardly speaking to me as it was, so sitting with him while he got his treatment was a little difficult for me. Crystal was getting her chemo at the same time as him, as well, so I helped her knit a new scarf with some beautiful colored fabric she brought in with her. Every time I looked up at Alex he was either scowling, closing his eyes, or staring at the wall or ceiling. I started to get suspicious, wondering if there was something I had done, until he reached for my hand and tightly held onto it. Then his eyes closed, and I was so relieved to understand it was nothing I was doing... he was just having a hard experience with this cycle. I wished I could take away the pain for him, and put it on myself instead.

Before we knew it, it was the first day of school. Senior year, to be exact, and I hoped with all of my heart that it would go better for everyone. We all got in Alexander's car, Alex letting Jake drive since Jake was excited he finally had gotten his license. When we reached the front office we took our schedules, and it turns out I only had two classes with Alex, three with Darlene, and none with Stephanie. At first I didn't know how to feel about it, because it was a big change, but sometimes change can be good, so I went along with it.

I laughed when my brother passed his schedule over to me, as I noticed he had almost every single class with Stephanie, my best friend. It almost got me annoyed, until out of nowhere Alex took my hand, which he hadn't done for a very long time. At least he got me to smile.

The whole week of school was good, but I got a lot of homework. I went back to Alex's house almost every day after the bell rang, and we studied together. It was a little nerve racking with the topic I brought up, without thinking it through, this one specific afternoon.

I closed my math text book hard, creating a loud noticeable sound, as he lifted his eyes from his notebook. "Need help?" he asked, confused.

I shook my head. "No, I just can't believe I'm in 12th grade. I mean, I can't make myself understand how important this year will be in order for me to go to college to become something," I blurted out, realizing the sadness that filled his baby blue eyes.

He dropped his gaze back to his paper and continued to write.

"Um," I stopped, biting my lips, knowing I had no idea what else I could possibly say.

"Any clue where you're going to go?" he quietly said to me.

"Well I don't even know if I'm really going to go yet," I answered, pulling out a science worksheet. "I still have some time to think it over."