Frerard One-Shots #Wattys2016 [currently being edited]

CRACK FIC CHAPTER

RATED PG. MAKE SURE A PARENT ACCOMPANIES YOU DURING THIS CHAPTER.

Inspirations;

-breaking down now that I'm taking ACT Aspire 

- Brandon Rogers

- tumblr posts

- Undertale

- my fucked up head

ENJOY:

It was a beautiful day in the Way household. The birds were singing; the flowers were blooming. On days like this, Frank Iero should be burning in Hell.

But we can't have that.

So instead, he'll just visit the Way household.

Two fat, fuzzy, buzzing bees were buzzing around and pollinating the beautiful blooming flowers and having a conversation.

"I wish I could be like that bee in the Bee Movie and get in a relationship with Donna Way", Bee #1 said.

"Hey, there are 22 letters in the alphabet, right?" Bee #2 wondered.

"No, there are 26", Bee #1 corrected.

"Oh, I guess I forgot the letters u, r, a, b", Bee #2 joked.

"I get it, because I'm a bee", Bee #1 pointed out.

"Yes, th-", Bee #2 began before he was plunked out of the air by Frank Iero's legs.

They were so hot, they could fry an egg. 

"Nooo! Bee #2!" Bee #1 mourned.

Brendon Urie sped by going 500 million miles an hour. He had an entire shopping cart full of gallons of assorted milks. He had whole milk, 1%, 2%, soy milk, almond milk, coconut milk, chocolate milk, tru moo, and other milks. 

Sometimes, you can hear Tyler Joseph singing in the tune of Message Man:

"Release me from the bathtub,
I'm obsessing all these questions,
Why I'm in denial that they tried the calcium full session,
Please use discretion when you're messing with the milky man,
These lyrics aren't for everyone, only Ryan understands."

"GERARD GERARD I CAN ONLY SPEAK IN CAPS LOCK NOW", Frank told Gerard from outside the door.

Gerard rolled out of his door frame somehow and rolled away from Frank's bullshit. He rolled right into another Frank.

"I'm from Jersey. You wanna fight?" the other Frank asked.

Gerard rolled away from that Frank screaming, "IT'S FASTER IF YOU ROLL!". 

Another Frank appeared from thin air. 

"I really love my children, okay?" he grunted.

The original Frank was confused because he wasn't married, and he saves hand-holding for marriage. (Holding hands is how you get prego, right?)

Speaking of prego, Ray's hair turned into spaghetti. He came outside sitting on Mikey Way's should as his long spider-like legs guided them through the streets. Ray poured spaghetti sauce into his noodly hair. 

"Go onward daddy long leg", Ray demanded of his steed who is still Mikey.

An army of Franks were now walking around, informing everyone of his Jersey descent and challenging them to fight. Eventually, a Frank would end up fighting another Frank and then there was a whole ball of fighting Franks that said they were from Jersey.

12 popes fell from the sky flying Obama planes and began crashing into the ball of Franks, but they were too strong and the popes blew up. 

Ryan ran out of Brendon's house yelping for help. He was stark naked and Brendon Boner Urie chased after him with the milk. He went up to Gerard and grasped his collar. 

"Gerard please help I have milk in my booty hole", he begged. 

"I've got a collar full of reasons why YOU NEED TO COME TO MY HOUSE AND LET ME PUT GALLONS OF MILK IN YOUR BUTT", Brendon turned to Satan and dragged him away. 

This gave Gerard a song idea. 

He wrote it down in his gay notebook with a gay pencil.

"So give him milk, milk, gallons of the stuff. Give him all that he can drink, and it will never be enough. Give him milk, milk, milk. Grab some ass because there's going to be a flood (if he doesn't hold it)."

"Wow, this is beautiful", Gerard proclaimed.

Gerard looked across the street where his neighbors Dan and Phil were bathing in a pool of barbecue sauce naked.

"I loooooove barbecue sauce", Phil said in his mock American accent.

 "fyi i like vagina", Dan clarified.

"I'm going to shove this up my ass", said Pete Wentz, holding the limited edition Mikey Way Fourth Of July Fall Out Boy Sparklers. 

He lit 7,649 sparklers with a lighter and shoved them all up his ass.

"That's better", Pete was noticeably less stressed.

Doritos and Mountain Dew rained from the sky, as 50% of youtube commenters flooded the streets screaming "ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED".

Gerard found the nearest Frank and grabbed his butt.

"Let's get illumiNAUGHTY", he grinned.

All the Franks turned to Gerard and in unison, they all screamed "HEY I WANT IN".

This meant a Frank orgy for Gerard. They had a Frank orgy and it was disgusting. But then something even more gruesome happened. 

Donald Trump came and everyone ran away.

*que the realization that I wrote this on my school computer