The Tide - Completed

Part 43

**Note from Chipz**

One more to go...

Presenting...

It’s About Time I Did This

We’ve left the main hall. We’re outside now, walking down a stony path. We’re walking in silence. Jay’s looking at the ground and I’m looking ahead of me.

“Jay,” I begin. “I’m tired of this separation. I think it’s so unnecessary. We’ve been friends for seventeen years ‒ well, it’ll be eighteen soon. We can’t let a stupid thing like a girl end what we’ve built for so long.”

I stop walking and I look at him.

“I miss you, okay? There I said it. I miss having you around. I miss play-fighting with you. You’re like my big brother. I tried accepting that you’d pushed me away, but it hurt me. I got over it eventually, but there are still moments where I think about the numerous good times we’ve had. I want you back in my life, Jay. I’m not going to let my differences with Larissa affect our friendship.”

I exhale deeply and look at Jay. It’s about time I let that out. Jay moves closer to me and hugs me. I hug him back tightly.

“I’ve missed you too, Jamie,” he replies. “I really have. I’m sorry for pushing you away. I really don’t know why I did that. I was going crazy; things at home were upsetting me and I really wasn’t thinking rationally. I thought that it’d be better if I pushed everything that meant a lot to me in my life. That’s why I pushed you away. I was scared that you were going to let me down. I started dating Larissa because we didn’t have any strings attached. Our feelings for each other were shallow. There was nothing deep about that relationship. I broke up with her a month ago. I couldn’t stand her incessant nagging and complaining. I wanted to tell you but I thought that you didn’t want me in your life anymore.”

“Well, now you know that I do want you in my life, Jay,” I smile. He returns the smile.

“I definitely know that,” he replies. Suddenly he frowns. “But there’s one more thing we need to sort out.”

“What?” I ask him.

“What are we?” he asks. “What am I in your life? What are you in mine?”

I sigh and let go of him. He’s right; we need to define what we are to each other.

“You’re right,” I reply. I look at him. “Do you still have feelings for me?”

Jay doesn’t reply immediately. He looks down at the ground for a few seconds. He lifts his head and nods.

“Yes, I do,” he says. “Do you have feelings for me?”

I don’t reply immediately, either. I have to think about this. I’ve realized that before our extremely rough patch, I did have feelings for Jay. I was in denial about them, though. When he kissed me, I kissed him back because those feelings were still existent. Right now, though, I don’t know what I’m feeling. I don’t think I want Jay to be my boyfriend. It’ll change everything it had.

“I do,” I reply. “But I don’t think we should date. We’ve just reconciled; I think our relationship is still fragile. I think dating will make our relationship with each other even more fragile. Like I said before, you’re like a big brother to me. I want us to know each other until we die. I think we were meant to date, but we kinda messed that up with that whole disagreement. Maybe we should stay friends for now. If we’re meant to date, then we will. Just not now. I’m still recovering from my break-up with Tommy. I really messed up that relationship. The last thing I want to do is mess up another one. So, is it okay if we stay friends?”

Jay looks up at the sky. He looks like he’s thinking about what I’ve just said. I really hope that he doesn’t walk out of my life again. I really will miss him if he does.

“I get where you’re coming from,” he says. “And I agree with you. We messed up our chance, but maybe it’s for the better. You’re right; if we’re meant to be together then we will be together. I won’t hold it against you if you start dating another guy. As long as he’s decent, then I’ll be cool with it. So, yes, it is okay if we stay friends. Well, best friends.”

I grin and give him a big hug. He chuckles and hugs me back.

“Thanks for understanding, Jay,” I say, letting go of him. “You rock for that.”

“Just for that?” he asks, pretending to be offended. “I always rock! Clearly you haven’t been around me for a while!”

I smile and shake my head.

“You’re still obnoxious,” I say, feigning disappointment. “I guess some things never change!”

 “You’re right,” he grins. “You know you missed me!”

I shake my head and laugh.

“Of course I did,” I say, looking at him softly.

“Good! Because like I said, I missed you too,” he replies gently.

Suddenly a roar of approval comes from the hall. Jay and I look at the building.

“I wonder what’s going on,” Jay says.

“I think they’ve started serving the cake,” I reply.

“Oh sweet!” he replies eagerly. “Do you wanna go get some?”

I pause and smile.

“I think I’ll stay out here for a while,” I say. “I feel like looking at the stars.”

“Alright, cool,” Jay says. “I’ll see you later then.”

Jay squeezes my shoulder and walks back to the hall. I hold my dress carefully and sit on the grass. I look up at the star-filled sky and sigh with relief. I have officially sorted out all of my problems. I lost a few people on the way but I regained most of them. As for relationships, I think I’ll stay single for a while. I hope Tommy and I will become friends again. For now, I’ll leave him alone. I do miss him, though. We had a lot of good times, as friends and when we were dating. I kinda screwed that up, though. Sigh. I smile and nod my head. I’m not going to screw up my next relationship, though.

“I’m stronger now,” I say to no one in particular.

“You definitely are,” a voice speaks from behind me. I jump and turn around to see who is behind me. I gasp.

“Tommy,” I say stupidly, looking up at him.

“Hey,” he says, smiling