Tragedy

Tragedy:41:

*Justin*
Day 19
7:04 PM

I was supposed to be working out right now, but instead I sat on my bed with my guitar in my lap, practicing the craft I had once been so good at.

My fingers hurt. I hadn't played this long in forever.

I hadn't written any music in forever actually.

But I had this continuous melody stud in my head, and words. I actually had a song brewing.

I set the guitar aside, reaching for the notebook I had and a pencil before I started plucking out the chords again.

"Na na na..." I paused, humming a note I thought would suit the next chord, changing my mind.

"So you've heard it all before..." I mumbled, my mind going to all the promises I had made Bella throughout our relationship. "Fallin' in and out of trust...trying to rekindle us..."

Bella and I have been through hell and back. I've lost her trust on more than one occasion, and how in the world did you just gain that back? Things were great over the phone, but what happens when we're together for the first time in person? Was it going to be awkward? Would I get to kiss her? Would I even get to hold her hand?

I want us to be a family. I want her to be my wife. I want to love her forever. Just her, me, and our little baby girl.

But she's sad, she feels all alone, she's not eating or sleeping, and there's nothing I can do about it here.

I can't wait to hold her in my arms again.

I knew from our talks that she didn't feel like herself - I knew something was wrong just from talking to her. I felt like it got worse with every phone call - with every passing day I was here.

I wish I could give her more than a phone call.

I strummed again, glancing at the words I had written out on the page of my notebook.

"Only to lose yourself..." I trailed off, my cheeks puffing out as I let out a deep breath. "But I won't let me lose you..."

I had a song an entire song written in a half hour. The first one I had written in years.

There was a knock on my door as I set my guitar off to the side, and I knew exactly who it was.

I pushed myself off my bed and answered it, revealing Gina standing outside in the hallway.

"Hey, what's up?"

"I was bored. Figured I'd come say hello I guess."

"Have you been crying?" I asked her, opening the door wider as I zeroed in on her wet lashes.

"Maybe a little."

"Come in," I nodded my head into the room, leaving the door cracked and put my guitar in its case. "What's wrong?"

"You play guitar?" She asked, ignoring my question.

"Yeah, I'm trying to pick it up again while I have the time...keeps me distracted." I shrugged, putting my hands in my sweatpants. "What's wrong?"

"Just a hard day I guess. Nothing out of the ordinary."

"You can sit down." I said, closing my notebook and put it on my beside table. "I'll take the floor."