Simple//Tradley:Jonnor

I hurt James

Just a warning, this is one of those chapters which make you hate me lol rip.

~

'Tristan did not like me when I first came to the rehab centre. After a while, he started to like me. At least, I think. He stopped calling me annoying and wishing that I didn't exist, anyway.
I know that I don't have feelings, so I will not say that I like Tristan, but I cannot say that his absence doesn't bother me. It is difficult for me to work out why, but after a lot of hours in isolation I have come to conclude that it is because if I was functioning as a normal human being, I would like Tristan and his absence would upset me.
But working that out doesn't change the fact that Tristan is still missing. Nobody will tell me where he is. I need to know, so I will find out.

I know that I don't have feelings, so I will not say that I like Tristan, but I cannot say that his absence doesn't bother me. It is difficult for me to work out why, but after a lot of hours in isolation I have come to conclude that it is because if I was functioning as a normal human being, I would like Tristan and his absence would upset me.
But working that out doesn't change the fact that Tristan is still missing. Nobody will tell me where he is. I need to know, so I will find out.

Bye, diary.

~Brad.'

Brad shut his diary and shoved it back into his bedside draw, which he promptly shut afterwards.
It had been a week since Tristan had disappeared. Nothing was the same - Brad kept expecting to hear the blonde knock their secret knock on his door any minute, lying in bed with his eyes open as if falling asleep meant he would miss the blonde. But he knew that Tristan wouldn't knock on his door. Tristan was probably dead. Brad thought he could hear Tristan speak sometimes, if he laid silent for long enough, but when he sat up and flicked on his bedside lamp, he figured he was just deluded from the deliriousness of sleep. He figured that not being allowed to leave his room for a whole week had also contributed to it. He figured that he might have been going mad. He figured that Tristan was probably dead.
He figured quite a lot nowadays, seeing as nobody was telling him anything. He asked about Tristan every time somebody came into his room, which was usually Doctor Miller, and each time he wouldn't get a proper response and the subject would be turned to him. They didn't seem to understand - Brad didn't care about himself or his progress, he cared about finding out what had happened to Tristan... if caring is the right word to describe how he felt towards the situation. After a week, Brad figured it was time to take matters into his own hands.

The centre was weird at night. Brad couldn't tell you why, because he didn't know. It just gave him a feeling he wasn't sure about. He wasn't turning back, though - he was going to see James and Connor. He wanted to talk to them about Tristan, maybe come up with some sort of plan to find out more information or to find out where Tristan went, although he doubted that the other boys knew any more than he did. It was worth trying, though. He felt weird sitting in his room, not doing anything when the blonde boy was missing.
"James. Connor." Brad spoke as he walked into their room, shutting the door behind him and marching purposefully over to James' bed, staring down at him before poking him on the shoulder and repeating his name when seeing that the boy was asleep. Connor, who was on the other side of James, cuddled up to his chest, was the one to open his eyes. He took in the sight of an expectant-looking Brad, then gently shook James awake. James woke and instantly looked to Connor with a concerned expression, as if Connor often woke him with troubling news, but this time it wasn't Connor who had something to say, it was Brad. "James. It's about Tristan." Brad stated, causing the eldest boy to jump slightly, not realising he was there as all of James' attention had been on Connor. James sat up and pulled Connor up next to him, gesturing to the end of the bed where Brad sat down, like a child who had just woken his parents after having a nightmare.
"What is it?" James questioned, exhaustion clear in his tone. It seemed that Brad wasn't the only one who hadn't been sleeping well - James had been keeping himself awake, sick with worry. Sure, his and Tristan's past wasn't the prettiest, but that didn't mean that they didn't worry about each other. Now that Tristan was lost, James was extremely worried and had to be soothed to sleep by Connor each night, getting lost in the feeling of his favourite person stroking his hair and whispering words occasionally in the voice that James had fallen in love with.
"Tristan."