Have I Told You (A Nemi Story)

Just So You Know...

DEMI POV

I didn’t know what to say. So I just stood there and stared at him. It took me a couple of minutes to process everything he just said to me and then my eyes began to well up. I really missed him and just looking at him now made my heart hurt with the realization about how distant we had become, before I knew it a tear was rolling down my face.

“Please don’t cry Demi,” He said as he reached forward and wiped away the tear but he didn’t immediately remove his hand instead he placed it on my cheek and softly stroked my skin. I let my eyes close briefly in order to collect my thoughts.

“Demi look at me,” I opened my eyes and was met with a worried look, “I will never hurt you, I swear on everything I have.” And I nodded, I don’t know whether it was the look in his eyes or just the fact that I knew him inside out but I wholeheartedly believed him.

“Good, now I think people are starting to realise who we are so it’s probably best we take this somewhere else, is that ok with you?” I looked around a sure enough there were people in Starbucks pointing in our direction, whispering things to each other and smiling widely.

“Alri-ght,” I said trying to sound strong but my voice betrayed me and cracked.

And with that he took me by the hand and led me to his car, opened the door for me and waited till I was securely inside before he went to the driver’s side and we took off to only God knows where.

The car was silent as we drove; I assumed it was because neither of us knew what to say to the other, me especially. I mean what do I say to the heartfelt confession he just made, ‘Oh that’s cool it’s all my fault anyway I’ve been purposely ignoring you for the past 2 years because of what happened between Joe and I but I’ve decided to stop now and talk to you again hope you don’t mind.’ It just sounded so disgusting, I was disgusted at myself.

How could I have shut out such an amazing person due to the actions of another person? Nick did nothing but be there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on and how do I repay him? I act as though those special moments we spent together meant nothing! I felt so ashamed I couldn’t even look him in the eye.  All of a sudden we came to a halt. I looked out the window and realised we were at Santa Monica Pier. I turned to face Nick he was looking dead at me but his hands were firmly gripping the steering wheel. I had to say something now or I never would.

“Nick... I’m not angry with you,” I noticed upon hearing this, his grip on the wheel loosened, “I’m angrier at myself more than anything.” I finally admitted.

“Why?” He was clearly confused and I don’t blame him.

“I’m angry at myself because I let you slip away, I fought you when you tried to stay put, I pushed you away even though I so badly wanted you to remain in my life and all because of what happened between Joe and I.” My hands were trembling and he reached out and held them, the action made me shiver.

“You don’t need to be angry at yourself Demi.”

“No Nick I do, let me just... just let me get this out ok?”

He nodded.

“When you were telling me how incredibly sorry you were, all I could think of was how you have nothing to be sorry for. You tried Nick, and I pushed you away. We were... are best friends and I shouldn’t have done that to you. I just wanted to let you know that I care about you and I never stopped caring about you even though for a while that’s what it looked like. I’m sorry.” And I let out the breath that I was holding on to when I began this speech.

There was nothing but silence we just sat there staring at each other for what seemed like forever, until Nick’s mouth started to curl up at the edge into that crooked smile that I loved so much.