Finding My Alpha

20

Willow

Seth never had time to grieve once Matt died as he was always helping Lola with her baby. I feel like his death was my fault and that if I haven't looked out that window it would all be okay.

But then I would run through it without me looking out the window. I would continue as normal and Seth wouldn't have been ready when I screamed. I would probably be dead and so would Seth, Matt and Lola.

I sighed as I lay in bed while Seth mothered Lola again. It had been 5 months and now it's nearly time for the operation to keep Lola and the baby alive.

Lola had called us in yesterday and told us that it was a little boy, I was over the moon for her and i'm pretty sure that was the first time she smiled in ages.

Seth came into the bedroom awkwardly and lay next to me, he was still numb but at least he talked now.
"Seth?" I shook his arm lightly.
"Willow please..." He mumbled.

I sighed and rolled over letting a tear slip. I know Lola and him are both grieving but still, I just want to talk for a bit at least! I fell asleep that night thinking about Matts life with me in it.

~~

I awoke next morning to Seth running around like mad only to look at the clock to find it was only 3:17 AM! I looked up sleepily and asked him what he was doing at this time in the morning.
"Lola went into labour! We are screwed!" He screamed as he through stuff into an overnight back.

I grabbed his arm stopping him for a second.
"Seth, calm down relax, I will pack the stuff you take Lola straight to the hospital." I ordered him.

He nodded chucking me the bag and going back to Lola's room to give her a hand into the car. Now don't get me wrong I was jealous as hell at the fact that Seth is now closer to Lola than me but she needs his help, not mine.

I feel useless at the moment. My mate ignoring me and my best friend pregnant with a dead mate. It's enough to break lives and don't get me wrong i'm sad, he was a great man but I don't like all this silent caring for Lola.

It's kinda creepy.

I feel as if i'm being cheated on.

As if Seth doesn't love me enough anymore...

I brushed all my thoughts aside and packed her bag to stay at the hospital. I walked outside to find Seth had already drove off even though I was quick. I sighed and went back inside grabbing a more firm bag so I could shift.

I did feel forgotten, like something else had taken over my body and no where be liked me anymore. I chucked and headed back outside, taking my clothes of behind a tree and shifting. My now black wolf shook its fur as I let her pick the bag.

I padded along the pack lands and from the looks I got from a few, they knew I was their Luna now. I guess I hadn't really left the house after Seth and I completed the mating process.

Finally I made it to the pack hospital and I shifted back behind yet another tree only to realise I had forgotten my clothes. This day really couldn't get any worse. I rummaged in Lola's bag and grabbed our one of her spares that I really didn't like.

I suppose once I deliver the bag I could take a look around the pack and introduce myself to some new people. This way I could try and get some clothes of a pack member if they are kind enough. I walked out from behind the tree in tight denim jacket that was way to short. The jeans where so tight I could hardly move.

I walked into the hospital a bit like a penguin and I got a few chuckles until I glared at them. Once people realised I was their Luna they soon shut their gobs. I waddled up to the front desk and put my arm across it.

"I notice that those clothes don't exactly fit dear." the receptionist stated.
"Im well aware of that yes. Now what room is Lola Fawn in?" I asked politely
"Room 5 and would you like some clothes?" The receptionist informed me.

I nodded weakly as she went out back and pulled out a black sweater and some blue jeans. I thanked her for all her help and waddled into the bathroom to change. These clothes were more my style and they felt much comfier.

I walked casually to were room 5 was as I stuffed Lola's clothes back in the bag. There I spotted a doctor checking how Lola was doing and Seth roaming his eyes around her body! I threw the bag in and stormed out not saying a word. Shifting while ripping the new clothes and running home.

Seth was watching Lola with eyes that he only uses on me...