Blackmail

Gender

I watch the image on the screen closely. It's the first time I'm getting to see the baby. Such a little face and hands and feet. I squeeze Lilianna's hand.

"The baby looks just like you, Celia!"

I laugh at her comment and so does Nate. He is behind her chair, running his hand through my hair. I thought it would cause me to panic or have flashbacks to the attack, but Nate is gentle.

"Would you like to know the gender?"

Lilianna and Nate both stay silent, leaving the pressure of answering the question to myself. After a while of weighing the pros and cons, I answer.

"Not today. Maybe next time."

The technician nods and starts cleaning me up.

Once we are outside and walking back to the car, Lilianna starts chatting.

"So what are your plans for Valentine's day, Celia?"

I hadn't really had time to think of plans. With my stomach growing each day and my clothes not fitting me anymore, I really didn't plan on going anywhere.

"I didn't really think about it. Maybe a night in?"

Nate seems to agree with my answer.

"Movies and pizza?"

"That sounds perfect!"

Now I want pizza.

And some dill pickles.

And Delilah's chocolate chip cookies.

I put my hands on the bump, silently cursing the child for giving me various cravings.

"How about we go get some pizza now? It's almost lunch time."

"I'm game."

"So am I. The munchkin wants pizza."

I get into the back seat with Lilianna and Nate gets behind the wheel. I catch him staring at my bump twice, a strange mix of emotions on his face.

If only he would tell me what he was thinking.