Ending The Dream

Chapter 14

I looked up at the dark blue sky and admired all the stars. It was so peaceful out here. Serene. I felt someone pull my hand and giggled as I got up to follow them. 

I was still looking at the starry sky until I felt the coldness of water run over my feet. I looked to who was in front of me but didn't recognize him from the back. We walked deeper into the river and shivers went up my body. The boy turned to look at me and I gasped.

"Cold?" I nodded and Hayden squeezed my hand tighter. "Just a little further."

His face was radiant in the moon light. His freckles stood out and the moon shone on his eyes just right to make them shimmer. The water rose to my chest but was more luke warm than cold now.

"What are we doing?" I whispered to him. He pulled me towards his so our faces were inches away from each other. 

"Crossing this off your bucket list. Swimming out in the middle of the night." He gave me his side smile. He pushed some of my hair away from my face with his wet hand. "The moon light shines just right and makes your hair shimmer. You look beautiful." I smiled sheepishly and looked away. 

I felt his hot breath in my ear.

"It's the truth." He pulled me closer so our chests were touching.

"You should stop." I whispered and put my hands on his chest to push him away. He gave me a funny look. "I don't like being shown what I want but can't have."

"What do you mean?"

"Well I their's this guy I've like for a while. And he's a really good friend of mine but I don't think he knows." I didn't look at him making waves with my hands.

"Well I have a really good friend too. And I think she's been oblivious to the fact that I know and that I've liked her for a very long time." I looked up at him and he gave me a smirk. He pulled me into him, "I'm pretty sure I love her." He whispred into my ear. I smiled broadly and wrapped my arms around his neck. 

His eyes were warm and sparkled and I couldn't stop smiling.

"Are you going to make me ask?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"Alaina. May I have the honor of kissing you?" 

I leaned in and our lips met. The warmth of his mouth overtook my body and I forgot about being in a river.

                                                                         ~               ~               ~

I uncurled from my postiton on the chair in the hospital room. It was dark and I was the only one here with David. He was sleeping  and I was silently hoping that I didn't sleep talk. I left the room and walked to the cafiteria.

That dream  was surely delightful. In every single way. Although I didn't quite understand why we were out in a river. I don't have a bucketlist and we still have a little over a month before school was out.

I grabbed an apple juice and went the cash register to pay.

"That will be two dollars miss." I handed the lady the cash.

"Thank you."

"Rough night hun?"

"Always." I told her. She smiled apologetically and I smiled back at her.

"It's okay. The only thing you can do is stay positive and pray." She nodded.

"Amen."

I went to sit down at a table and pulled out my cell. I sent my mom a text saying that David was doing well. I opened my apple juice and sipped it. I watched the non busy lobby and noticed a familar boy walking around."

"Ryan?" He turned around and walked over. He gave my a smile.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" I didn't really want to tell him about David.

"Family issues." He nodded nonchalantly. "What about you?"

"Grandma had a stroke the other day so they're keeping her over for some dioagnostics." He said jerking his thumb towards the why he was heading.

"Oh Ryan I'm sorry. Is she alright?" He sat down with me.

"Yeah. This has happened before. We're hoping that their isn't anything wrong with her." I nodded. "It's scary though, you know?" I nodded again. I knew all to well about being scared.

I rubbed his back with my hand in soothing gestures remembering that this is what Hayden had done to me. He gave me a small smile.

"Would you like a cookie?" I asked. He looked up at me and I could tell something was wrong in his eyes. "Are you sure you're okay?"

He grabbed my hand and held it in his.

"Alaina there's something I have to tell you. I can't hold it in anymore. For too long I've had these feelings and I hate lying to you." I looked at him confused and hoped he wasn't going to say what I thought he was going to say.

"Alaina," I looked at him, "I love you. I don't think you unerstand  the feeling of love I have for you." I jerked my hand away and looked any where else but him.

How could I love someboy who didn't, excuse me, wasn't sure if he loved me back. How could somebody else love me and I not find the affection to love  him back,

It's like this qoute I once read:

"What I wanted didn't want me. What wanted me , I didn't want."

"I'm sorry but I've got to go." I got up and started to walk away. I looked back to see him looking at me in disbelief. How could I be so cruel. He was geat, sweet, and funny, but I didnt want that. I was stupid. Good things have come into my life but I choose the one thing that I can't have. I push away the good in my distraught life,

I walked the halls of the hospital until I found a elevator to ride in.

I was a terrible person and I couldn't help but feel guilty of everything and anything.

It was my fault for their heartbreak.

My fault for global warming.

My fault for David's cancer.

I could make things right. I could date Ryan and make him happy. That would give me happy times but I wouldn't be fully happy. Not if I didn't go for what I wanted. I stepped out of the elevator and walked outside in front of the hospital.

The air had a warm beeze and the night sky was full of stars. The sign that summer was right around the corner. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Hayden's number. I hoped he was still up at eleven at night.

I waited as it rang nervous as all get out. 

"Hello?" That's odd. That was definitly not Hayden's voice. That voice was way girly. My heart slowed.

"Uh is Hayden available?" 

"Oh, yeah he's in the bathroom though. I can let him know you called when he gets out."

"No that's okay. But uh may I ask who this is?"

"Emma. He really should be out in a minute." She sounded slightly apologetic and almost regretful for answering.

"No thats okay I have to go anyways. Thanks." I hung up an sat on the cement.

Emma. That what's-her-name-face who broke Hayden's heart. What the hell were they doing together? If he needed someone to talk to he knew he could always talk to me. Right?

Even tthough I felt like shit and it seemed as if the world was ending. I told my self their were a lot more people who had it worse than me. I had a good life compared to most. I just needed to keep reminding myself that.

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Sorry it's taken me forever to update. And that's it's kind of a short update. Sorry for any spellingor grammer mistakes I don't have my editor I normally use. I'm vacation with my best friend and she's kept me very busy. I am enjoying myself very much. I dont think I'll get another update in for antoher two weeks. Sorry. But hope you enjoyed! Please vote and comment! Much Love