A Walk On Ice

22: The first girl I loved

Melissa

"I really can't believe that Carroll Coleman.. The president of student council, the ice queen, your enemy gave you a fucking cake!?" Skye exclaimed as she drove towards my house. I just nodded at her, not able to comprehend what just happened earlier. Carroll fucking Coleman gave me a fucking cake. The ice queen fucking gave me a cake. Can you believe it? Cause I still can't believe that I just received a fucking cake from her.

Oh by the way, I must say that she looked more attractive and, of course, sexier. I loved how the strands of her brown hair fell perfectly, how everything she wore suited her just perfectly.. And oh, those buttons revealed more than what I was expecting. I'm thankful that she is studying in an all girls school because she would have gained a lot of men's attention if she weren't studying in our school, and I would hate that.

"I don't look at her as an enemy anymore.." I mumbled to myself, but Skye being herself she heard it as if she had super hearing. A loud screech was heard as the car came to a sudden halt. "What did you just say?" Skye's head turned towards me. Shock was filling her eyes as they landed on me. They were wide open. I sighed. "She's not my enemy anymore.. That's what I said.." I thought she was gonna bombard me with her never ending questions, but all I heard was silence. A deafening one, but I wasn't complaining. I was rather thankful because I need no questions right now; I'm confused too and I have a lot of questions that even I could not answer at this moment.

"Hey babe, whatever you're on, I'll support you.. Now we're here.. I'll go inside too for thirty minutes and say hi to uncles!" Skye chirped, opening the door as she left the car. I let out a sigh of relief but when I processed Skye's words, my relief became fear.

Does Skye know already?

"I still can't believe it.." I mumbled to myself as we left the car. "Hello uncles!" Skye hugged the each of them, then me after her. When they started a conversation, their voices started to fade. It was as if my mind was creating its own music as Carroll started to invade it but my mind being as stupid as I am, it let Carroll in like a grandmother inviting her grandchild inside her house.

The moment Carroll made an eye contact with me, the moment where her emerald eyes never left mine.. That moment when she told me that I'm forgiven.. The moment I read her letter.. It is now safe to say that.. I am in love with her.. That I fell deeply for her.. If you would ask me long ago if it's possible for me to love, god even like or be attracted to Carroll, I would've said not a chance or not in anyone's dreams.. But look at me now.. Stupid Melissa.. Of all girls, why did this stupid pumping organ choose a straight girl?!

That time when I saw a vulnerable Carroll at the restroom.. I knew something changed.. I knew that something was odd.. Something ticked in me..

But I also realized something, something that I don't know whether I should be happy or not.

I like Carroll. I am falling for the ice queen.

Fuck this feelings, I've never had any of this before. I know that I'm gay because I feel attraction, both sexual and emotional, towards women, not to men and also because I thought that men are boring, this is just in my opinion though... I think not having a father for years was also a factor of me being gay.... Whatever, the point is I've never had any deep attraction to any girls in the past.. I never thought of a girl as my girlfriend, or having a future with her.. But Carroll turned the tables. There is something in her that keeps pulling me, luring me to her and I hate it.

It felt as if she was a proton while I'm her electron.

There's something about her that makes me want to hold her in my arms, to be able to cuddle with her, to be able to kiss her forehead and tell her that I'm always there for her no matter what happens.. I want to take her to the park and just walk together not muttering a word...or to an ice cream shop where we could feed each other and laugh at my stupidity.. I want Carroll..