A Walk On Ice

32: Safe

"I love you, Carroll."

It kept repeating in my mind as if it were a song lulling me to a peaceful sleep. I'm not sure if I heard it correctly nor if it was real, but I know that I'm not imagining things and I hope that I really am not. I went to the ambulance where the medics has taken Melissa to.

I am still in daze after hearing what Melissa said. She loves me. She said it but I'm still hesitating whether to believe that or not. What made her love me?

I push that thought in the back of my head. Focus, Carroll. I stare at Melissa's sleeping form. She is so still and peaceful, her breathing is even, which is good I guess after all what she had gone through. My eyes roam her body further. I had covered her with my own vest, her blouse is really ripped so I had to cover her body from any intruders. I just want to protect my girlfriend from unwanted attention. Violets and blues covered her whole body. Dried blood was all over her ripped clothes too. It was all too much for me to take. Everything that I saw, I couldn't take it. It hurt me too, like I also felt the pain Melissa did. Although I know that I wouldn't know exactly how that feels, but there's just this pain in seeing my partner —the person I love— hurting without being able to do anything about it.

I had called Skye earlier to inform her which hospital we are heading. I didn't know what happened after because I cut the call short right after I called her. I didn't want to be questioned at the moment, I needed a break. About that poor excuse for a human being, I don't care if she's Melissa's biological mother, she was sent to her deathbed. I don't know if they meant it to happen, but when we got distracted in our fight, I muttered the signal. I expect them to just tranquilize her, but I was frozen in my place when I saw blood coming out from her chest. I felt horrible, even if the woman was a psycho, they could've at least put her to jail not to put an end to her life. I would've sent her to a mental facility to take care of her but everything is just too late, and my what if's wouldn't do anything good. I don't know what's up with the authority, I was clear with the sedative.

But on the contrary, I'm kind of relieved. I feel horrible saying this, that Patricia is gone for good. Since the woman didn't have any relatives left (maybe they threw her away, I suspect), I told them that I would cover her burial. The least we can do for her is to give her a proper burial. She's still human and Melissa's mother after all, and she has to be respected whatever she did. Forgiven? That's up to her daughter who is still unconscious up to this moment.

I was too in my thoughts that I didn't notice that I'm already in this familiar four-cornered white room with its beeping machines. Melissa's in a white gown, tubes attached to different parts of her body. It pained me seeing her in a state like this. How could my bubbly girlfriend suddenly turn lifeless in a snap? Her eyes, I need to see the life in them. They hold the deepest oceans, I need to drown in them. I miss Melissa. I miss everything about her. Her smile, her golden hair, her lips.. Everything, especially her whole being.

"Lisa," I called, my hand reaching out to her own to entwine with it. "Please wake up, baby.. I miss you.." I mumbled against the back of her hand before kissing it. I've been in this familiar situation before, Melissa lying on bed as if she were sleeping, but the difference now is that there are machines around. Unlike in the past, I was only putting ice pack on her..

But now, everything is different.

Melissa seems here yet she's out of my reach. I can touch her, kiss her, yet she's still unreachable. If it were up to me, I would exchange places with her. The world needs more people like Melissa, but I doubt that it's the same with me. The world needs more people with good heart.

"Please come back to me, Lisa.." I muttered helplessly against her hand. It is now covered with tears. Shut it Carroll! There's no fucking need to cry. Melissa will wake up, you just have to be fucking patient like you've always been! Dammit, why didn't that psycho just killed me instead?