Lonely

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I need you most but u left me, you never tried to stand by me feel my pain you just shut the door and left me in the dark but like a wave I'll rise up..
       Sandorna

As I stood there staring at my message that mom send me how on earth could they why couldn't they bring me help me start instead they left me I so badly want to curse some colorful words but u keep it at bay,  I just left the cafe and walked home I honestly need the breeze I couldn't wait on no bus sure it was a good walk but I didn't care I needed this,

The sky looked dark as if its going to rain, I left my umbrella today as I put my phone in my leather handbag and sigh I feel a water droplet on my nose I looked up in the sky and then and there the rain just come down like a flood I didn't even bother stop for shelter people was looking at me as if I'm a psycho or something but what do people say..

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday.

Then I just let the tears flow freely down my cheeks, knowing that my family is out of the picture for me, now I'm going to look guilty the tears just flooded down my cheeks like there is no tomorrow I'm so sick of crying, crying only make me feel weak and right now that's the last emotion I want to show..

I tell myself that "tears are words the heart can't say" I tell myself trying to calm me down and help me feel assurance.

I remember all the good times we used to have as family when mom used to bring us out for ice cream and watch frozen and Cinderella movies but now I'm left alone at 18 years freaking old fending for myself and betrayed by people I trust, I chuckled as I memorized the name in my head "trust" it will take a miracle to trust people again and when I say miracle I mean it  the miracle that Jesus turned water into wine miracle, that  miracle if that cannot be fulfilled then consider my trust dead as Lazarus and waiting for God to resurrect it cause from now on its long gone..

I kept walking first in my life I feel lonely and I'll be damned if I say I'm not dying by it, I need my family's comfort their love the embracing words but fate hates me that much its not happening.

I yelled out as if I'm talking to somebody " what have I ever done to deserve this betrayal in my life karma hates me that much yo do this to me",  I knelt down on the sidewalk crying on my knees while holding my hair in a frastruated manner   I cried and cried hoping that mom and dad will come and take me home but unfortunately it doesn't happen.

Told you fate me, and I'm karma's enemy.

They never showed up I cried and cried in the rain its me the rain and my  tears, no family no friends nobody just me alone, suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder and the person come down to my level on the floor and whispers.
" I'm here zara I'm here" then I noticed its muse I hugged him and said " it hurts muse it hurts really bad"  I sobbed in his shirt " what hurts" he asked  confused looking at me to see if I was hurt..

In between my sobs and crying I managed to voiced out in low tone, that I myself didn't even recognize  "the betrayal"


There you have it peps, I updated yay I'm started to love this story even more.. Remember vote&comment
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