If I'm Louder. [a Ziall romance.] (EDTINGING IN PROGRESS)

grab my hand.

Zayns pov:

 6 days. i have been in Nialls room for 6 days, and out of the 6 days i ate about....four times. each day i sat by Niall, and i talked to him. the boys stood with me for the 6 days too, but they left sometimes to go get me clothes, or get food.

earlier i went through my twitter. half of the tweets were about Niall being in a coma, and how good of a boyfriend i was for staying with him.the other half was about me messing up on stage.

 through out the 6 days, i would look at my scars. i felt so horrible inside for cutting again. i would find myself tearing up but then i would look at Niall, and he made me feel better.

 now i still sit in the chair, right next to Niall.

"Zayn," said harry "were going to go get breakfast...want anything?"

i shook my head, and they left. but before they left Liam said "you do know Niall could here what were saying...right?".

 i didnt reply, and they left. Liams words lingered in my head. if Niall could hear me, i wanted everything i said to be who much i love him.

"Niall" i said as moved my chair so i was facing his bed. "i know you can hear me...so i needed to say something. i did something...a long time ago. see, when i was little, i was bullied alot and the way i coped with it was by..." i struggled with my words here "by cutting myself. and the other day...i did it again. i feel so guilty though because i should have talked to you...i should have taken the chance to talk to you because there was so much i havent been saying to you. so im going to say what ive been holding back now"

 Nialls pov:

     everything was black. i tried to move before but after a while i over hear what sounded like Louis say that i was in a coma.

   now i just lay here, at least i think im laying, trying my best to move. i was listening to Zayns words, and when he told me he cut himself, i knew it was because of me. im sure he cut himself again because i was in a coma. i was a tad bit confused though when he said he was going to say what he was holding back. so i listened, as if i had a choice.

" i love you Niall...i love you so much that i would die. when i saw you in the stretcher, a part of me broke. i know you can hear me baby and i wish i could just," this is when i heard sniffling...he was crying "i just wish i could take it all back. i am so sorry i didnt listen to you...its just that alot has been happening to me the past few weeks...and i know stuff was happening to you to. how can i have been you blind? how could i not see that i was hurting you. people told me that i wasnt the reason that your in this situation but i am. i mean if i wasnt such an arsehole...you would have to have gone looking for me." i wanted to badly to hug him. to tell him that it wasnt his fault. but i cant. i broke my heart to hear him cry...and not being able to help broke my heart even more.

"when Liam told me about you letter...i felt like all of the pain and stress in my life went away. you dont know how much you letter ment to me. ever day i would read it, and it would just make the pain go away. but i realized something, you never read my letter...here it is"

  if i was able to move, im sure i would be blushing

"liam, i know i told you about the dreams i had about niall, and you told to not push away my feelings but embrace them....so here it goes. every time i look at niall, i see pure perfection. i never felt so...so connected to anyone like Niall. every time he laughs, my heart melts. i just wish i could hold him in my arms. i wish i could tell him my feelings, but i cant risk our friendship. i have so much pain in my life, people judging me ever where i go. rumors about me. people thinking im vain and boring...but when i look at Niall, its like the weight of the world is off my shoulders. i find myself sometimes just laying in bed thinking about him. it hurts so much to know that i can never have a chance with him....but it makes it all better when Niall and i laugh with each other. i havent really fell in love with anyone...but there is a first to everything"

i knew that i would be crying right now. that i would be in hot tear. he is just so sweet.

"Niall, i know you cant move but...baby if you can, grab my hand. i know you cant feel it right now but i am holding yours right now...just grab it back."

 that was when i felt something drop on my hand.it was warm, and it made my hand a tad bit tingly.  it slowly moved down my palm as another fell. Zayn was crying.

wait...i just felt his tears. i then waited to see if i felt more tears. then as a few seconds past, i began to feel Zayns fingers intertwined in mine.

Zayns pov:

 "im holding yours right now....just grab it back."

i looked at his soft hand in mine, as tears fell from my face. on of my tears fell onto his hand, making my grip on his hand slightly moist. it broke my heart to know that Niall could respond to me.

  as a few seconds past, my grip on his hand grew a tad bit more lose asi began to lose hope that Niall would move

   . i then felt something move between my fingers. it sent chills up my body.i looked at my Nialls hand with open eyes, and a widening smile, and saw that his fingers were slowly squeezing my hands.

 i then cried even more, but this time it was tears of joy. i let go of Nialls hand, and leaned close to his face.

 i moved my hand through his blond, soft hair as i said "baby...if you can..open your eyes". as the words escaped my lips, i was looking deeply into Nialls blue eyes.

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oh shit! crazy chapter right? those of you who are die hard glee fans would know that this chapter was inspired from an episod when kurts dad was in a coma :)