If I'm Louder. [a Ziall romance.] (EDTINGING IN PROGRESS)

therapy

so i havent really gotten into depth of Zayns  bullying so this chapter will contain some of that....but this chapter isnt about Niall and Zayns problems...its about everyone in the bands problems.

this chapter WILL be long, and very emotional so please....enjoy 

(AND READ MY EFFING ONE SHOTS! THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE UP LOADED WHEN I HAVE BETWEEN 910-1000 READS )

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  zayns pov :

we all sat in the waiting room of the physiologist. There was a long leather couch that we sat on. It was as if this place was made out of recycled things because everything was some shade of brown. the walls was a old news paper brown, the front desk is a dark brown. it made the boys look paler then they already are. 

 the door to the therapist opened his door and said, very loudly, "Zayn Ma- mali -mala" i got tired of his struggle and said "Malik...Zayn Malik".

i then stood up and walked into his room. this time everything was black. the walls was a nasty dirty brown and the furniture was all black. i sat on the chair. i didnt lay down though because it made me feel like...like im crazy. i was the second on to be in his room and i could tell that Niall was laying down because the chair was warm.

the therapist wore a black suit, red tie, and black glasses, he had some spots of grey in his hair so i knew he was about 40

"so...Mr.Mali" the therapist said.

"Mailk" i said, getting quickly annoyed by his lack of understanding.

"ok melon, so....um.... Harry told me about your, er... problem"

i titled my head  confusion and said "what- what problem?" i said, knowing that he was talking about me cutting.

"your cutting." he said as if it wasnt a big deal " now i get alot of people like you, they struggle alot because there parents are fighting, there bullied, there gay...."

he extened that last word because he knew i was gay. he continued talking

"know i need you to tell me why....well i mean what was the reason you first started cutting."

i gulped at the order and rubbed my hands. "umm" i said, trying to gather my words.

i began.

"ummm...well i was bullied alot in middle school  because i was...umm Muslim"

"i thought your name was last name was Maxwell"

"its Malik and muslim is a religion" i was now doubting his help but i still continued

i felt a lump im my thorat as i re-lived the events  "i remember one time a group of boys followed me into a bathroom stall...i begged them to leave me alone, but they wouldnt. the blocked the door so i was trapped...then one of the boys pulled out a blade."

my vision got blurry as tear built in my eyes "they said 'here....why dont you go play your blood violin' because they saw that i had a cut on my arm, which had nothing to do with my cutting. this cat did it to me...and very evil cat." i chuckled a bit then continued " .... so they left the bathroom and left me in there with the blade... " 

my words trailed off. the therapist said "and that was the first time you harmed yourself?"

i nodded as my eyes stung from the waterfall i was holding back. the room began to spin. my head was hurting as i tried to continue to speak. i felt the tears fall on to my cheeks as my breathing began to grow faster.