Guilted: Wars Against The Past (Editing)

T h i r t y - E i g h t

WARNING: The following chapter contains mild indications of violent content. Please refrain from reading the entire chapter if it would be a trigger. Rest assured, the chapter is mostly about the memory, the couple's argument and the protagonist's prayer to God.

They may have the world you don't. But you have the life. Remember, the world will end one day, the world won't last. But life will, it will always go on.

She froze, she didn't need to read the rest of the case. Her insides died with a static strike as she let go of the file. Horror overtook her senses and she breathed in heavily.

"Oh my God!" She whispered, within a jolt, the puzzles were all solved. The reason Abed didn't want to marry her, the reason he was uncomfortable with the whole marriage deal, the reason he kept telling her that he wasn't the man for her, the reason he regretted the marriage, the reason he asked her to stay away from Delera, the reason he was so reserved about everything, the reason he was always so troubled, always so fearful of his choices, the reason he tried so hard to do the littlest of things just to make her happy, the reason he tried to control his anger, the reason he was confined in asylum?

She wasn't sure of the last reason, but things did make sense.

Abed warned her of him, of her choice, of getting into his life. He warned her not only once, but many times, in fact, he even urged her not to marry him.

She felt this pang of betrayal in her heart when she realised that all along, it wasn't about her. It was about Delera. All this time.... she thought that it was simply Abed who was being dramatic, that Abed being Abed, marriage was something new for him and he was taking time to get accustomed to it, that she was the one who was affecting him but, no, it was neither of them. Their marriage had always been about the past and never their future. If that was the case then, what of the future?

Was it always gonna be the same, wars with the past while the future was long forgotten?

Was Abed really that selfish? Maybe he was, but she wasn't.

Typically, her rage was furiously surging through her heart and she needed to see him. Of course, him being the coward, he wouldn't even care or dare to call. She wouldn't call him either, she would go to him.

She got dressed and grabbed his Urus's car key along with the casefile. Alya was asleep while Esta was on the couch, writing something on a notebook. She looked up at Sahar as the latter was storming her way towards the door. Sahar didn't look her way when Esta abruptly got up to have had rushed to her and stopped her by grabbing her arm.

"Sahar?" Esta asked furrowing her brows with concern when she saw Sahar's eyes were watering.

Sahar shrugged off from her hold and turned away towards the door. Esta's gaze fell on the casefile and realisation had struck her.

"Sahar, where are you going? It's already very late...."

Sahar didn't have the energy or the will to reply her because Esta would stop her, talk her out of it and who Sahar needed that moment was no one but Abed. She needed him to talk to her, to tell her that whatever was happening, it was all a nightmare, nothing happened to Delera, it was all a stupid heartbreak. She needed Abed.

"I just need some air...." Her voice came out broken and Esta knew she didn't need any air, she was going somewhere, to someone.

Before she could stop Sahar, the latter was already out as she closed the door behind her, not before hearing Esta call out her name.

"Sahar......"

She immediately took the elevator, ignoring the woman beside her, who was going through her phone, she reached the ground floor and rushed to the car.