Guilted: Wars Against The Past (Editing)

F o r t y - F o u r

This year went by so fast, you better stop playing with your life.

Sometimes, you don't get to live the dreams you pray for, sometimes you don't get to be with someone you love till the end of time, sometimes the missed opportunities, the closed doors and detours break you into pieces, sometimes life forces you to stand through the unexpected tides even when you can barely stand, sometimes the matters of this world isn't in your control, sometimes you carry this guilt even when you are not guilty.

Punch.

Sometimes you get to stay silent and endure all what the world has to dump on you, sometimes the plot of your life gets so messy that you wish you were never born, sometimes you smile even when your insides are dying, sometimes you grip your anger tight so that it stays put, sometimes you become the victim of the same crime you committed, sometimes it's the other way around, sometimes you need to go somewhere alone and far and scream off your feelings and emotions so that the pain is lessened, sometimes catharsis isn't enough for you, sometimes the twists of this world twists your heart only for it to ache and break.

Punch.

Sometimes even if it's pain proof, you still feel the pain burning in you. Sometimes even when you think you have moved on, the past still lives inside you. Sometimes even when you are steps ahead of it, you will end up finding yourself a thousand steps behind it. Sometimes you may be free from the outside, but you remain a prisoner from the inside. Sometimes it's delusional, how you find yourself in between storms, fighting through it, finding yourself alive again, even when you think you've died.

Punch.

Sometimes it's not enough, sometimes you have got to try harder, sometimes the tears don't help, sometimes you feel like nothing works, sometimes you don't have the capacity to understand it, sometimes even the forces of the heartbeats are faster than you think, sometimes even when you are running away from it, it's always running beside you, ahead of you, haunting you.

Punch.

Sometimes it gets harder than you think, tougher than you feel. Sometimes the people you love the most can't be there for you. Sometimes they don't walk beside you. Sometimes they don't always stay. Sometimes they only live in your memories, reminding you that they are gone. Sometimes love even hurts. Sometimes the mixed up complications of love and etcetera, have their own hypocritical faces. Sometimes it's all just temporary, and what guarantee have you got, that within temporal means, the matters are even real?

Punch.

Sometimes it's not just about the little things. Sometimes it's also about the big picture. Sometimes it's about the permanence, the littlest of things, they have their ways to drop the bombs of the big picture. Sometimes all along the way while pampering the littlest of things, you tend to forget the big picture, and when it hits you, all you do is to know how to put the blame. Sometimes you don't know how to perceive life, whether the little things or the big ones. Sometimes you don't understand the balance. Sometimes everything should be prioritised, big or small, inequality shouldn't hold any place anywhere.

Punch.

Sometimes mistakes become your greatest lessons. Sometimes you forget about your own happiness. Sometimes you don't understand yourself. Sometimes you are just so angry and you don't know where to even dump it. Sometimes the remnants of your feelings never take off. Sometimes you are just stuck, trapped, never moving on. Sometimes you get to drag the weight of others life within you, all through out your life. Sometimes you feel like time is betraying you, it's going either too fast or way too slow, never keeping up with you.