𝒮𝑒𝒸𝓇𝑒𝓉𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝑅𝑜𝓈𝑒𝓌𝑜𝑜𝒹 - a Supernatural Fanfiction

chapter 24

goodbye

After we went back to the safe house, I knew. I slowly stepped up the stairs, wishing we didn't have to do what we needed to, but knowing it had to happen. Nat, Dean and Sam were joyfully talking in front of me, but I didn't hear their words, for my brain was talking to me instead.

It's time to leave, Alex. It said. It's time to say goodbye.

But I didn't want to. I wanted to go on forever staying with the Winchester's. Someday maybe we'd do this again, but after this evening, it would be over. I thought through the week and a half I'd stayed at this deprecated looking building. In my own way, I knew I'd miss it. Now, I took in the view of the ugly porch, the swing where Sam and I talks, the stairs that Dean and I sat at, thinking on those moments in fond memory.

"Alex." Sam fell back to walk with me. "You okay?" He asked, voice betraying his care for me. It warmed my heart to hear it, but scared me and made me sad all the same.

"Yeah." Lying, I nodded. "It's... everything's okay." I didn't meet his eyes, knowing he'd read me like a book.

"I hope... I hope this is okay." Sam added, slipping his hand into mine. A shiver ran through my body, my hand tingling as well as my entire being. Suddenly, I felt so warm, so happy, so forgetful of my worries, fears, sadness. It was me and him and that was enough in that moment.

I didn't respond to his question, slipping my fingers around his in answer. Daring to look at him, I saw his eyes on me, dimples showing as he smiled deeply. My cheeks felt like they were as red as my hair as I continued to study him. I didn't want to forget the two Winchester's, Sam especially, so I tried my best to mentally take pictures of his face, never ever wanting to not know what he looked like.

We broke eye contact and slowly strolled inside, hands intertwined. As soon as we stepped in, though, I quickly pulled my hand out of his before the two of our siblings saw. I'd never heard the end of it if Nat knew we held hands, same with Dean.

As it so happened, we walked in as they sat down quite close to each other on the couch, thankfully still talking.

"I'm, uh, gonna go pack." I announced, leaving Sam's side and starting upstairs. Just by saying those words I knew that this would end, and soon.

Once I was back in my unofficial room, I started to pick up my things and put them in the duffel bag. I was nearly finished when I reached for the picture of my family. My hand lingered above the frame, noticing how normal it looked next to the Winchester's baby picture. Sitting on the bed and resting my hand back in my lap, I peered back and forth between the two pictures.

The young and smiling youths in those pictures were dead. We'd grown so much, both physically and mentally, and learned more about life, death and everything in between. But I still loved to see myself and my family, as well as the brothers, so young and full of life, so ignorant about what was to come. Maybe not in the Winchester's case, but in mine and Natalie's.

The thing was, I might have been heartbroken with everything that went wrong, but it led me to where I was right then. I never would have met Sam and Dean had people not died or I had been born normal. Even though the guilt and shame seemed to weigh me down often, I knew it wasn't all my fault that my family had died. Maybe I was special, but it didn't need to be pinned all on me. I needed to remember that.

Without hesitation, I took the picture and put it in my bag.

I slipped back downstairs, bag in hand. To my horror, Dean and Natalie were still sitting much too close, but this time, they were kissing. I slid past the couch as fast as possible and dropped my bag by the front door, pushing it open quickly.