✓ IT ALL STARTED WITH A PSYCHO

❝Just Kiss Me❞

Tom didn't talk much after I came to see him, he was exhausted and honestly I couldn't blame him. Soon, I myself drifted off to sleep and only woke when Tom moved his arm gently.

I was lying next to him on the small hospital bed, our legs intertwined, like the other night. My head rested gently against his chest as he lay on his back. Soon, he moved his arm slightly and re positioned it behind my head. I glanced up through sleep filled eyes to see him smiling weakly. His skin was still pale and the under edges of his eyes were dark.

"Hey, you ok?" I asked in a whisper. It was 8:13 am and it was only just beginning to lighten up outside. He took a deep breath, rubbing his hands through my hair.

"I'm ok if you are"

I rolled my eyes.

"You had a fucking seizure, man. Of course I'm not ok" I gave a slight giggle, trying not to make my comment seem too sedistical.

"Ok" he whispered. My eyes were locked on him and I couldn't break away from it. His cheeks were a little flushed as his jaw ticked. His eyes scanned up and down my face, but more than anything averting from my eyes towards my lips.

His hands trailed down towards my side gently, pulling my closer to him. Our faces were inches apart, I could feel his breath running down my neck. As I felt him lean in slowly, my heart jumped out of my skin to the door being pushed open.

I turned around, falling off the bed in the surprise, sending Tom into a fit of laughter.

"Z, you ok?" I heard a familiar voice. I looked up, rubbing my head to see Josh standing in the doorway.

"Oh my god Josh!" I squealed, standing up and leaping into his arms. He caught me lightly, placing his hands under my ass to keep my from falling down. I burrowed my head into his neck, taking in his familiar scent.

"Dude I heard what happened, you ok?" He asked looking over at Tom as he placed me down gently.

"Fine, thanks" Tom smiled awkwardly.

"Tom, this is Josh. Josh, this is Tom" I introduced them awkwardly. They shook hands before Josh took a seat, myself standing still.

"I wasn't interrupting anything was I?"

"Well-"

"No, no nothing" I smiled, looking down at Tom with wide eyes. He sighed, looking away from me, biting the inside of his lip.

"Okay then?" Josh gave a slow nod and a confused glance between the two of us, the tension in the room becoming so awkward it was begging to hurt.

"Well I'm heading to the canteen, Tom you want anything?" I asked.

"Just a water, here-"

"No, it's fine I'll pay" Josh smiled, standing up. Tom nodded, keeping s straight face. He looked annoyed. Was he jealous? I gave him a glance of 'I'm worried about you' to which he rolled his eyes.

"Ok, let's go" I pulled Josh with me, leaving the hospital room and walking down towards the canteen. Which happened to be on the other side of the fucking hospital.

"So how did you even know i was here? And how did you know about Tom?"

"Your friend, was it Laura? She told me when I got to the hotel"

"Right, makes sense" I smiled, paying for the snacks and walking with the bag over my shoulder.

"So are you and Tom like a thing?" Josh asked as we took a seat in the hallway.

"What? No, no!" I pulling my water bottle out.

"Right, so I can do this then?"

"Do w-"

Josh brought me in to lean against him. His lips were rough and nothing like I had imagined them to be. They consumed me. They didn't fit. It didn't feel right. I'd had feelings for him, but things have changed. I pushed him off me.

"Dude?!"

"What?"

"DUDE?!" I repeated myself, gesturing in between us. "Why did you kiss me?!"

"Come on Z, you've been begging for it since we were seventeen" he leaned in again. This isn't the Josh I knew, and once loved.

"Are you kidding me?" I asked with a sarcastic glint. He generally looked confused. I pushed him back and picked up my bag.

"Z I'm sorry!"

"Meet me back at the hotel in an hour, right now I have a friend who needs me" I walked back down the hallway without glancing back. When Josh was told to do something he did it. Especially when it came to myself. I'm not an air head, but he had respect for me. So off he went. My cheeks were still flushed and honestly, I felt sick. I wanted to vomit. I wanted to scream. I wanted to wash my mouth out.

Reaching Toms room again, I brushed it off and put on a smile.

"Who was that?" Tom asked. I handed him his bottle with a sigh.

"He's just a friend"

"Seemed more than a friend to me"

"Stop being a bitch and drink your water" I flicked Tom on the arm, making him smile. I'm glad he understood my sarcasm.

"He's not and he never will be. He's not my type"

"So what is your type"

"Someone's keen"

"Just asking" he smirked. I rolled my eyes and took my gum out the bag, placing a piece between my teeth and allowing the mint to overtake me.

"I don't think I have a type, but I know when I like someone"

Tom nodded, placing his water down on the side.

"They discharge me at 3, a nurse came in while your gone. Wanna grab a coffee later?"

"Yeah, if you don't start seizure-ing out in the cafe" I smirked, taking a sip of my water. He placed his head back down on the pillow with a groan.

"Your never gonna let this go are you?" He moaned.

"Your taking it to the grave, 'darling'"

"Hey that's my saying!"

"Ok then, your taking it to the grave Penis Parker"

"Worse" He chuckled, making me laugh.

"Since I've been with you, my panic attacks have started dying down" I played with the rim of my bottle lid and looked down at the floor.

"Really?" Tom asked. I nodded, raising my eyebrows a little. It was true, yeah I had a few blips. But before Tom I was having sometimes six or seven a day.

He patted the bed beside him, making me stand and join him. I lay back down in the position I was in before and allowed him to wrap his arms around me, embracing me.

"We were kind of in the middle of something"

"Tom" I warned. He didn't say anything for a while. Don't get me wrong, Tom is one of my good friends. But it would all come crashing down if it was anything more then that.

Call it a lived experience.