Pepper never meant to lose her best friend. Lucas never meant to fall in love.
Yet the aftermath of broken hearts leads them to blur the lines of their friendship forever. When Pepper is dumped by her boyfriend and Lucas is led on by his crush, they...
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CLAWS OF ICE grip my body and jerk me out of my sleep. "Jesus," I hiss and brush the chill bumps going up my arms despite being layered under enough sheets to suffocate from. I kick thick blankets from my body and I skitter across my bedroom, wincing as my feet pad across the icy hardwood, and peek out of my door. Squinting through the shadows at the wall across from my room, I confirm what I had already suspected. The thermostat is off yet again.
My shoulders slump and I apply pressure behind my ears to keep from exclaiming my distress. "Mom!" I yell into the darkness.
It's no surprise that silence follows. No conscious soul exists in this house besides mine. Grumbling, I turn back to my room, yank on my drabby robe and shove my feet into the nearest pair of slippers.
I know I gave her enough to cover utilities. Vomit burns my throat thinking that she'd spend my money recklessly again. Though I don't want to suspect my own mother. We've established the rules in this house, and I know she wouldn't take advantage of me like that.
Hugging my arms around myself fails to comfort me from the cold or my fears. The hall to her bedroom is daunting and claustrophobic. Long barren walls act like mirrors to our reality. I find myself suffocating on the same pungent smells I should be used to. Alcohol. A brick wall to my senses.
"Mom," I hiss as I peek inside her room. The curtain of dusk makes it impossible to distinguish which lump she is in her mangled bed. A slight pull of the blinds reveals an empty wine bottle rolling across the mattress leaving crimson stains to seep into her beige sheets. "Mom." I shove her shoulder, overthrowing the shield of blankets covering her head. She moans and throws an arm over her eyes. "Mom, did you pay the utilities?"
"Mhm."
"Why is the heat off then?" I take a quick glance around the trash and discarded clothes hanging off of every possible surface in her room with a sigh. Do I really have to clean up in here again?
"Maybe-maybe I forgot," she slurs.
I sharpen my voice and square my shoulders with the gradual realization that I am the only true adult in the room. "Mom, it's October and absolutely freezing. We could literally die in here."
"I'm so sorry, honey." She uncovers her face like a wounded patient attempting to move for the first time in months. Mascara and eyeliner create shadows around her hollow eyes. Nausea taints my system and I have to glance away. To look at her is like staring into a mirror twenty years from now; a life where I become a failure and rely on my child who exists more like an orphan. "I had to use the money."
"For what?" I demand and rub my shivering arms. I don't know why I ask an answerless question.
Her face scrunches like crinkled paper and she releases buried sobs. "I'm sorry, okay? I know I'm a screw-up. I'm trying to do better, Amber. Don't look at me like that!"
