Pepper never meant to lose her best friend. Lucas never meant to fall in love.
Yet the aftermath of broken hearts leads them to blur the lines of their friendship forever. When Pepper is dumped by her boyfriend and Lucas is led on by his crush, they...
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WHEN PEPPER ISN'T AT SCHOOL on Monday, I know everything I feared was right.Throughout the day, she has conquered my thoughts. Not just because of the rumors and speculations falling from the mouths of morons in classrooms and down the halls. Disgusting rumors like how she's a whore because she's sleeping with Lucas and Mason. It seems everyone saw them kiss Friday. At least, the right amount of people did.
That's not the reason Pepper has been engraved in my thoughts.
I'm worried about her. Worried sick. Maybe more worried than I've been about Martsia. These girls have entered my life and taken over. I care about them so much more than I ever thought I would.
As I wondered the parameters of the school with Elliot by my side throughout the day, all I could think about was what Lucas told me the other night. Lucas, who I avoided all day. Lucas, who I can barely look at anymore. After he told me about what's been going on with Pepper, it appalled me. Hurt me more than I ever thought possible. What he did...the severity of his actions are lost on him. At least, they were.
The horror on his face as I told him the truth is ever clear in my memory.
"Lucas...what you did to her..." I shake my head and swallow the word; the ugly, disgusting word I never thought could be associated with such a kind boy. A charming boy I once fell for. Sweet Lucas with his adoring smile and mesmerizing eyes. Lucas, the boy I wanted to take a risk for. That word doesn't seem to belong to him.
"What is it?" he demands while his nails dig into my arms. "What did I do wrong? How can I make it better between us?"
"You can't," I breathe and shake out of his hold.
"What do you mean? She can't really hate me. She has to forgive me, Amber."
"It was rape."
A hush falls over us as we stop breathing. The grisly truth falls from my lips and freezes the air. He gives me a look of absolute horror. Tears fall faster down his face and he shakes his head. "No. D-don't say that. It was not like that. I always made sure she wanted it. I-I made sure she was okay with it."
I swallow the lump in my throat and stare at him through teary eyes. "How exactly did you do that?" I rasp.
"I-I m-made sure she wanted it." He scoots closer to me, noticing my rigid position in bed. Something about being here with him like this feels more and more violating. "I would just...I would just k-kiss her." He grabs at his hair and his eyes widen as if the truth is slowly sinking in. "The first time I did it, it seemed to work. S-so I kissed her and just convinced her to...I t-tried to reassure her u-until she said okay."
"That's not consent, Lucas," I cry. "You forced yourself on her. Coerced her into submission."
"No, I didn't," he sobs. "Please don't say that. I would never do that to her. Ever. I l-love her. I didn't want to hurt her. I j-just wanted her to want me. Sh-she picked me over Mason. We were dating. She always kissed me back. Please don't." His voice cracks and he bows his head. "I didn't mean to force her. I didn't mean to."
