To: Spider-Dweeb (P. Parker x Reader)

✆ 𝚃𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚢 ✆

✆ Ｔｅｘｔ✆
╔  Regular- (y/n)  ╗
╚ Bold- ned ╝

Hey so it's (y/n)
Idk how I got your number but I have a question to ask

Ok shoot

First of all you're friends with Peter Parker right?

Yeah?

Ok cool good that's good
Do you promise not to lie to me once I ask this question?

Possibly...
What exactly are you getting at

This might sound crazy so bear with me

Trust me I'm used to crazy

Is Peter Spider-Man?

What! No
Why would you think that??

Because he told me

Um what?
Just give me a minute
I'll be back

That's fine
I won't go anywhere
Unless of course I have to use to bathroom

✆ Ｔｅｘｔ✆
╔   Regular- ned   ╗
╚    Bold- peter  ╝

PETER
ANSWER ME THIS INSTANT
I BANGED THOR!

Dude what the hell

It got your attention tho didn't it

What do you need
And before you ask no I will not ask Wanda to go to prom with you
She already has a boyfriend

I thought you were bae, turns out you're just fam

Bruh
Ok but seriously I won't do it

That's not what I was going to ask but whatever
Did you tell (y/n) that you're Spider-Man?

It was an accident I swear!

So you did?
Ok cool thanks
Bye

Ned wait
What's that supposed to mean?!

✆ Ｔｅｘｔ✆
╔  Regular- (y/n)  ╗
╚ Bold- ned ╝

So I actually lied
Peter's Spider-Man

Bitch
You promised

No I really didn't

Sure, Jan

I don't listen to anyone

That's a bit harsh

Just like Peter's jawline

wHaT?!

Oops
Did I seriously just send that
Forget that I was even here

Oh I am so telling him this

NED DONT YOU DARE DO IT
I WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE, FRY YOUR REMAINS, AND PACKAGE THEM IN A BAG OF LAYS

Well aren't you just a morbid person

I'll do it
I swear to Thor I'll do it

Aye
I see what you did there
Because Thor's a god
Hilarious 😂

Ned I'm serious don't tell him that
I already asked him to tell his alter ego to hit me up

Wow
God has abandoned your timeline

No shit Sherlock

You know the 3 of us should have a group chat called Thorsty

I'm intrigued
Do it

Ok I'll make it later
The slogan should be 'sluts for Thor'

Everyone is a slut for Thor if we're being honest

True
I'd go gay for Thor

If I was a guy so would I

So Peter's suit records literally everything because Tony is totally his dad

#Irondad
#Spiderson

Essentially
Anyway one day I was snooping around in the suit's archive and came across him impersonating Thor
Obviously I made I gif out of it

You're joking right!
Actually I believe you
We both freaked out when Thor messaged us

Bless his soul
This is absolutely golden

Whenever I'm losing an argument I pull this out as leverage

Smart
Well I have to go pick my friend up so make that group chat while I'm gone

Aye aye captain