✆ ᏟᎪᏞᏞ ✆
╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗
╚ Bold- peter ╝I'm only calling you because I know you're up right now
How?
You just liked my most recent picture on Instagram
Why you checking Instagram while on patrol?
Karen told me
Whatcha doing up?Let me just say, eating cereal straight out of the box no milk really be hittin different at 3 am
How are you still alive?
I could be asking you the same thing
That was one time!
Peter, you choked on a Skittle
A SKITTLE!
THOSE ARE SO FREAKING TINY! HOW'D YOU MANAGE TO CHOKE ON A SKITTLE?!Why you gotta call me out like that?
You're literally eating dry cereal at 3 amAt least I'm not choking on it unlike someone I know
You're making me hungry
Shut upI'm also hungry
You're always hungry
It's a talent
Anything interesting happen yet??Besides a squirrel's utter distraught when he dropped a nut into the sewer? No, not really
Poor guy. He was just a hungry little fella
Like meAre you comparing yourself to a squirrel?
To be fair, I am eating cereal straight out of the box at ass o'clock in the morning
Just checking
Some dude just tripped over his shoelaces, fell on his face, and dropped his gas station pizzaTragic
A sadder tragedy than
Romeo and JulietHe good though?
He just burst into tears
Poor guyHere's a suggestion, be the hero you are and buy him a new pizza
With what money?
With Tony's credit card that he totally gave you
He's done no such thing
Really?
I swear on my life
Liar
Me? Lying?
I would neverThat's bullshit and you know it
Your whole life is one giant lie, you gender-bended Hannah Montana freakYou get the best of both worlds
Chill it out, take it slow
Then you rock out the show
ESTÁ A LER
To: Spider-Dweeb (P. Parker x Reader)
FanficHi! Can I order a 12 piece Chick-fil-A nuggets with ranch, a large waffle potato fries, and a large cookies & cream milkshake? 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬- 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐤-𝐟𝐢𝐥-𝐀 [peter parker x reader]* [al...