Duyên || Clint Barton

026 || solace

•••

"You gotta talk to her Nat"
My feet stuttered to a halt outside the door as I heard Nat and Rhodey speaking.
"I don't know what to do, she's different now-"
"Of course she will be - her whole family's-"
"I know, I know"
"She's working herself to death, she's in the gym more than not, it's not healthy"
"I know that"
"You're the only one she'll listen to. You've known her the longest, you knew her family the best-"
Feeling the annoyance finally bubble to the surface, I poked my head around the door, startling the two into silence.
"They were her family too Rhodey. Hell, she saw the kids more than Clint sometimes. So please stop just saying my family cos she's fucking part of it too. I know I'm being shitty at the moment but I'm so full of anger and I just need to get it out. A few more days and I'll be better, I promise. Thank you"
And with that I turned and walked away, leaving behind a stunned Rhodey and Nat with happy tears welling in her eyes.

•••

True to my word, after a few more days of punching out my frustrations in the gym (and the occasional scream into my pillow) I eventually went looking for Nat, finding her in her 'office' eating a pb&j sandwich.
"Hey"
She looked up from her lunch immediately, her eyes widening slightly as she tried to figure out my reason for coming to her. A melancholic smile gave her all the information she needed to know, hurrying from her seat and quickly pulling me into a hug which I instantly returned.
The warmth and familiarity of the embrace filled me with a calmness I hadn't felt in months, a few tears escaping my eyes and dripping on to Nat's shoulder before I could stop them. Before I could apologise, I felt a similar drop land on the side of my cheek. Realising that Nat was also crying I tightened my hold even more, burrowing my head into her neck, not wanting to let go.
"I really am sorry" she whispered carefully on to the top of my head, her thumb rubbing circles on my back soothingly, "for not calling you for help. But I'm not sorry for keeping you out of danger"
A short chuckle escaped my lips as I leaned even further into the hug.
"Just, from now on, no more secrets. Okay?"
"Okay"

Taking a few seconds to recollect ourselves, we split from the hug and sat down on her sofa, Nat fully turning her attention to me.
"You wanna talk about it?"
"I don't feel like there's much to say. We lost the kids and then we went on a rampage which led to me losing Clint. Shits fucked"
Natasha snorted at my bluntness, nodding along with me.
"What was it like Nat? What the hell happened?"
My hand moved to rest on her knee as she released a shaky sigh, her gaze dropping to the floor.
"Bruce called us - Cap - on Tony's burner phone. It was after the attack in NYC. We were told that this ... this Titan wanted to destroy half the population with the infinity stones-"
"Isn't that what Vision has in his forehead?"
Natasha nodded, a frown pulling at her eyebrows, "we had to find him, eventually tracked him and the twins to Ireland just as they were getting attacked. Everyone was okay, but we needed to get Vision somewhere he couldn't be reached, so Steve flew us to Wakanda"
"Were Bucky and Marzia okay?"
"They were fine, yeah. Helped in the battle that came later that day. Out of nowhere this army just showed up. You should'a seen the twins, they were amazing. Both saved my ass more than once. But then-" her voice cracked, fists clenching, "it was like everything went quiet. Thanos had just showed up, managed to get to Vision and Wanda. The next thing I know -"
I pulled her into a hug as her words failed her, whole body tensing.
"Pietro, he went right in front of me Grace. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I couldn't save them"
"Its not your fault Nat. You could never do anything to hurt them, I know that"
"I've never cried this much in my life" Nat sighed, her voice still thick from the tears that lined her throat, "I swear that did something to me"