If You Are Anything Like Me

01: Of Break Ups and Moving On

#IYAALM01: Of Break Ups & Moving On

✿ ♥ ✿

❝If you are anything like me,
Who dreamt of good things and happy endings,
Darling, run before reality knocks on your door and give a surprise of a lifetime.❞

✿ ♥ ✿

HOW do you ruin a person?

How do you break a heart?

How do you waste five fucking years?

Ah, I learned that. Easy. Just make that person feel that she's the most beautiful, the one and only, and the one you want forever. Then, after making her fall for you hard. You look at her straight in the eyes and without any hesitation, drop the words casually...

"I fall out of love. Let's break up."

See? Ang dali 'di ba? Lalo na kapag akala mo magpro-propose na sa 'yo ng kasal 'yung tao. Lalo na kapag akala mo masaya kayo at walang mali sa relasyon n'yo. Then, you drop the bomb without any warning.

Surprise!

Mapapatitig ka na lang sa kan'ya na para bang joke 'yung lahat. Maiisip mo panaginip lang lahat. Pero gagawin n'ya pang klaro ang lahat na para bang wala kayong pinagsamahan. Ni walang pakundangan.

He'd shrug his shoulders like what you were talking about was some kind of business matter. "It happened. I don't know why, and oh, please. This is not about you. It's me." He'd continue, without even giving you a chance to utter anything.

Mapapatigil ka na lang bigla. Kusang babalik lahat ng alaala na kasama mo 'yung lalaking nasa harap mo. Para kasing hindi mo na s'ya kilala... He became a stranger in a span of five seconds because of the words he stated and because of giving you bullshit.

And when he was waiting for your response, instead of saying anything, you'd be blank. And the only thing you would realize was the sound of your heart breaking, and all of your memories together crashing.

Funny, isn't it?

Mapapatango ka na lang ng wala sa sarili. Makikita mo s'yang aalis at tanging pagsunod ng tingin sa likod n'ya na lang ang magagawa mo. Mapapa-inom ng tubig at saka lang mag-si-sink in sa 'yo ang lahat ng sinabi n'ya.

That happened to me.

I cried silently while walking out of the café. Walking like a ghost with all of the memories we had for the past five years flowing in my head. Then when I reached home, I locked myself up in my room and cried to death.

Sino bang may sabi na panghabang buhay kami?

Tangina. Wala naman ah? Dahil ba five years na kami kaya ko in-expect na kami na sa dulo?

Sino ba naman kasing isusugal ang pagiging magkaibigan simula pagkabata at maging magkarelasyon hanggang limang taon, para lang sa pakikipaghiwalay? Wala naman sigurong tangang gagawa no'n 'di ba?

Kaso, meron pala. Ang swerte ko naman, hindi ko akalain na 'yung boyfriend—ex-boyfriend ko pa pala.

Tutulog ka nang umiiyak, gigising ka na hindi makapaniwala. Parang walang buhay na nabubuhay sa mundo. Hindi alam pa'no magsisimulang muli, hindi alam pa'no naging gano'n kabilis ang nangyari.

Desperada na rin ako no'n, pinilit kong kausapin ulit s'ya, pero sa huli nagmukha akong tanga at kaawa-awa. Inilabas ng guard mula sa kumpanya nila dahil naging isang malaking abala.

Napapa-upo sa sidewalk, iiyak kahit pinagtitinginan na. Ni hindi na alintana ang hiyang bumabalot sa damdamin dahil mas nangingibabaw ang sakit at pagkawasak ng pusong minsan lang naman umibig ng totoo.