If You Are Anything Like Me

00: He Got Down On Two Knees

#IYAALMEpilogue: He Got Down On Two Knees

✿ ♥ ✿

THIS was it, there was no going back anymore. I inhaled some air while we were inside the car at the parking lot of a building.

I smiled to myself, such a familiar scent. A scent that I thought would last... but eventually faded with time.

I closed my eyes as I remembered the road we travelled together, with our peals of laughter and truest words.

It wasn't the road, it wasn't the travel, it wasn't the song playing that would break me as I miss them...

It was the road I looked at with his memories, it was the travels with him holding my hand, and it was the song with his voice, I'd always want to embrace and remember.

I just hoped I'd be able to think about them without tears...

"C-Can you go first? Sa entrance na 'yan naman ako pupunta 'di ba?" Nahihirapang tanong ko sa kanya, nauutal, hindi ko rin s'ya magawang tingnan. Pakiramdam ko kasi sasabog 'yung puso ko. Baka kasi mag-alinlangan ako bigla.

I love him so much; I still love him so much that there was a part of me that didn't want to let go yet.

Pero kagaya ng sabi ni Papa, mahal na mahal ko nga s'ya. Sobra-sobra na magagawa kong palayain s'ya kasama ang pagmamahal na 'yun. I heard him sigh, and I felt him moved out of the car, and I saw his back going inside the entrance of the building. Napakagat ako ng labi at napahilamos sa sarili.

He mentioned about this particular building before. It was the building that was supposed to be the start of our life together. He built and constructed this museum of paintings and with the library because of me. Hindi ko akalain na dito rin pala magtatapos ang lahat. 'Yung akala mong simula, sa totoo dulo na pala.

I prayed first, I prayed that I'd have the strength to do this, the strength to still breathe when it was finally over. I sighed, and my heart ached.

I gathered my remaining courage, as I slowly moved out of the car. Every step of the way was heavy. It was like there was magic within my steps, making me sad and tearful, but somehow... slowly learning things on how to let go.

Nang makapasok ako sa loob, sobrang maliwanag na lugar ang sumalubong sa akin. Purong puti, pati na rin mga ilaw, puting-puti. I smiled faintly, it was like I was suddenly welcomed in heaven. It was magical, light, and peaceful. Kahit tiles ng sahig, halos kulay puti rin.

I walked slowly, with my white above the knee tulle dress. Funny, how I looked like walking to the doors that would lead me to my married life, only that I was here to stop it. I held my dress on the sides because of nervousness.

There was a huge tree in the middle of the place. It was a tree without any leaves, instead it was filled with papers. It was a wishing tree, or a message tree. Where you are supposed to write things, or wish for things.

I went to the counter where you could get a paper card to put it on the tree. Kumuha ako no'ng cream na card at nagsulat do'n tapos isinabit ko 'yun sa puno. 'Yun pa lang ang may sulat. Hindi pa kasi open sa public ang lugar na 'to. It was supposed to open after our wedding.

I went to the door arc to proceed to the next room. I was still welcomed with the white surrounding and lights. However, there were different paintings on the walls this time. I smiled at each one of them. I chose some of them. It was lovely to look at. Mostly abstract, but some sceneries of winter, spring, summer, and fall.

Pinagmasdan ko ang paligid at wala akong nakitang anino o bakas ni Killian. Kaya naman tumungo ako sa kasunod na way papunta sa iba pang parte ng lugar.