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Midnight. He couldn't fall asleep. Flashes still lingered on his mind. He knew he had to tell her, and he did, but not everything. Not everything she could deal with. At this point, it was difficult waking up not right beside her.
He sat quietly on the floor watching her laid on the couch soundly asleep.
It was childish of him.
A deep breath.
Minseok spent the rest of the night thinking of the right words.
8:25 am.
"Here." the man had printed something out. His hands shaking the paper in front of the clueless adult before him just fresh out of the shower as his head looked away, eyes watching the ceiling. Not really wanting to pick up the argument from last night.
Jayoung was relatively quiet when he looked back, her eyes wide and blinking while she inspected the paper.
"I think volunteering jobs will be more forgiving." Minseok really didn't want to say that, muttering through the sentence. He understood her need to get into the world immediately, but with a temper, she grew to develop like Yixing and the cockiness of Kim Kai, she clearly wasn't cut out for waiting tables in crazy restaurants with plenty of health hazard environments. "It's not too far from here though it was on the outskirts of the city. The elderly need all the help they can get."
"But it's ... too long."
"You have to work hard for it." He was surprised that she would complain at such things when –
"I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about you." She went to sit on her bed, taking a while to form a sentence. Opening her lips and closing them. "It's... oh, never mind."
"I'm sure all of them have something to say about cooking. You can learn from them."
Minseok thought he miscalculated when she looked up to him again, a bright and eye crinkling smile.
"Thank you for the recommendation." A very polite response. "I'll do it well."
All he could muster was a nervous chuckle. It was times like this that he forgot himself. They were together, but there were still remnant reminders of reality to spike at his confidence.
"Oh, one for your daughter?"
It was at this moment that he could hear a faint snap in the distance and slowly feeling his limps turning into ash and dissipating into thin air. Half of his pride was gone. Half of his disappointment remained. Perfectly balanced as all things should be.
All Minseok could do was smile a broken awkward smile and walked out of the store to Jayoung with the orange juice she needed.
"Oppa?"
"Huh?"
"You seem out of it."
Minseok didn't really get to react when the woman just pulled at his elbow and hook their arms together, her palm now in his, and she just brought their intertwined hold closer to her lips, placing the softest peck on the back of his hand.
His heart swelled and suddenly he forgot all the baggage on his shoulders.
Only when she kept walking did he remember that they were supposed to get to the nursing home in the volunteering project.
"Well, I guess it's right over there." Jayoung nodded subconsciously, her hold still tight on his hand. "Thanks for bringing me here. I'll take the bus home later."
"If it gets too dark, you have to call me." Minseok tried to deadpan, but maybe the smile on his face was too apparent for it to be a threat.
"Got it. Bye, love you!"
"Love you," a whisper she could barely hear as she strolled further away, leaving him leaning against his car, heaving a sigh the moment she was out of his sight.
Being bold was difficult. It was hard to keep that strong and forward personality up. It broke from time to time. And today was that time.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't dramatic soldier boy."
Yixing surged forward to engulf him in a firm hug before he was swirled around and seated by the window, a glass of ice tea helping him soak in the things around him.
"You know, money isn't going to make itself. You need to get to work, buddy. You two need to find shit or else, you both be eating off the dirt and I won't help you whatsoever."
Minseok rolled his eyes at the old chef's words, knowing full well that that wasn't the truth.
"Anyway, when is the marriage?"
Obviously, Minseok's airway was now stuffed with tea and it wasn't pleasant.
"We haven't really talked about it."
Minseok remembered his own build-up from last night and cringed at how needy he was. Shaking his head, Minseok breathed out. If she needed space, he should give it to her.
"Then, start talking about it."
His shoulders slumped as he sat silently in his car.
How could he do this? Worry raced in his mind as he thought about his own position and Jayoung's current goals. She wanted to be a cook and run a restaurant. And at this moment, Yixing was right. Minseok hadn't got his act together, his own goals still unsure. How could he support her in this state?
"Oppa! Got the job! I can start working immediately. My god, the grandmas here are adorable! They just can't handle me cooking food and the grandpa are so precious! They tried to stop me from all the heavy lifting and everything. And it's so peaceful there..."
Fingers on his back of his hands and he found Jayoung rubbing circles on them, her eyes trained on him, pulling him away from mindlessly feeding the dogs. His heart jumped at the tender touch.
"Wanna talk about it?"
She always noticed. And already he felt his cheeks burned at what he was about to say, his eyes closed. As much as he tried to push himself to be out there, it could be emotionally straining from time to time.
"I... well, I thought after you're done with the volunteering. We could go on a trip? Um, just the two of us?"
He had been planning this for a while, but this was the first step and the most difficult one, of course. Silence enveloped them, and Minseok felt as though his frail soul was taken away, his breath heavy. Jayoung was too flustered if anything. They'd just been on sort of a trip even though it lasted quite short and most of the days were spent with him just sulking about his physical state and nights being wasted in the company of old angry chefs. Plus, she had to go to school and everything –
"That sounds nice. Where do you want to be?"
"Oh. You're alright with that?" The man blinked, dumbfounded.
"Yes."
"... it's in Jinhae, Changwon."
"How long?"
"On the weekend, so two days, three nights?" He held his breath at this point. And he looked away again. "I mean it's spring and I wanted to make it up to you."
"It sounds wonderful."
She said it so certain, but her eyes slightly faltered at the end there, bright red burning at her ears. And Minseok willed himself not to think of implications as he kept a mental to make sure that nothing could go wrong on this upcoming trip like many trips before did.
