It's Harder Breathing Next To You // KELLIC

16

Vic took me up to his room straight away on Friday afternoon after school. Apparently we had to wait until Tony and Jaime get here before he tells me whatever it is he has to tell me. I had been going insane all day trying to think of what he needed to talk to me about. He eased my thoughts earlier today though by telling me it's nothing bad and that it was just a "proposition", whatever the hell that meant. I'm getting the feeling he's going to want me to do something I probably won't like, and I'll probably end up doing whatever it is because he's a persuasive bastard.

We got to his room and Vic's lips were straight onto mine. We hadn't kissed all day because we couldn't get a second alone together, so his kiss was needy.

"I swear if the guys weren't coming over soon then you would be on that fucking bed right now." He muttered against my lips before pressing his to them again. I don't think I'll ever get over the butterfly feeling whenever we kiss.

I heard a car horn beeping outside and Vic stopped kissing me. He sighed, pecking me one more time on the lips before moving away.

"Stay here, okay? I'll be back in a few minutes." He said. I nodded and he left the room. I tried to shake the feeling of...well, Vic, away from me before I had to see the others. I didn't want to be blushing and breathing all weird when they get here. It's hard not to act abnormal around Vic though.

I looked around his room to distract myself. The walks were a light green and his whole room was actually really neat and tidy. His bed was pretty much in the middle of the room and he had posters on the walls like most teenagers had. There was a bookshelf lacking books and in the far corner of the room was a desk with a comfy looking computer chair.

My eyes landed on a lone photograph on his desk, leaning upright against the wall. I walked over to it and picked it up. The picture showed a younger Vic, but not too much younger, maybe a couple of years. He was standing in between two other people. One of them I instantly recognized as that guy from the party, Beau. The other person was a stunning looking girl. She had the brightest green eyes and long, curly, dark red hair. The three of them were standing there smiling, in what looked like Vic's backyard actually.

"What are you doing?" Vic's return startled me and I quickly turned to him. He was looking at the photo with that blank look on his face.

"Um, nothing I was just looking around and, uh, are these your friends or something?" I asked awkwardly. Oh God, I should have just put the thing down and forgotten about it. He walked towards me and took the photo out of my hands, placing it face down on the desk. I looked at the photo and back to him. I think the blank, emotionless face was a lot scarier than his mad face.

"Mike, Tony and Jaime are waiting downstairs." He said. He took my hand, lacing his fingers with mine a bit tighter than usual and we walked out of the room, into the hall. What the hell just happened? Did I miss something? I hate secrets, I really do. I feel like he's hiding something and it hurts that he doesn't feel like he can tell me. I know we haven't been dating for very long, but he knows my worst secret; my dad's abusive ways, yet he won't tell me who those people are.

"Why can't you answer a simple question?" I asked.

"It's nothing, they're just," He paused, taking a breath, "Exes." He finished.

"Wait, both of them? What?" I asked, totally confused. He stopped walking on the stairs and turned to me.

"Kellin, please! Can we just not talk about it?!" He yelled at me. He was mad. I could tell by the way his hand gripped even tighter around mine to the point where it actually started to hurt a lot.

"You're hurting me." I tried to say calmly. The look in his eyes changed and he loosened his grasp. He looked at me apologetically.

"I didn't mean to." He said and brought my hand to his lips to kiss it. "I'm sorry. It's a touchy topic, but it's in the past so can we please just forget it?" He asked, kissing my hand lightly again. To be perfectly honest the Vic standing in front of me a few seconds ago scared me. It was terrifying how quickly he could lose his temper, almost the same way my dad did. The difference was that Vic didn't realize what he was doing and he stopped when he did. I didn't want to argue with him about the people in the picture anymore, even though I felt like he was lying about something. If it's such a touchy topic then why did he look so happy to see Beau at his party?

"Okay." Was all I said.

He smiled lightly and pressed his lips to mine for a few seconds before holding my hand, gently, and we walked down the rest of the stairs. Vic took me down a hall I had never been down before and opened a door which led to another staircase, which I guessed led to a basement. Is this the part where he sacrifices me to his dark overlord? Or ties me up in his dungeon and makes me his sex slave? Woah, where did that last thought come from?

"Are you okay?" Vic asked. I was still standing at the top of the stairs and he was trying to pull me down them with him.

"Are you satanic?" I asked without thinking. He looked at me oddly before chuckling.

"Last time I checked, no." He said, giving me yet another curious look.

"Oh, okay, nevermind." I said. He kept looking at me for a moment before turning back around and walking down the stairrs, dragging me along with him. When we got there I saw Tony, Jaime and Mike setting up instruments. Mike was at a drum kit, Tony was holding a guitar and Jaime had a bass. There were a couple of amps in the corners of the room, along with a washing machine and a couch.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Just sit and listen for a minute. Pay attention to the music." Vic said. He took me over to a couch and pushed me lightly towards it so I sat down. He then went over to the others and picked up his own guitar. I sat there for a few moments totally confused as to what was going on. They're in a band together, that much I gathered, but I don't know what this has to do with Vic asking me something. After another minute or so they started playing, beginning with Vic playing a salsa-like intro on guitar. They kept playing, but with no singing. They music was a bit more heavy than I'm used to though, but I liked it. Once they finished the song Vic came back over to me while the others talked amongst themselves.

"What do you think?" He asked. He leant the guitar against the arm rest and sat next to me.

"You guys are great. Why didn't you tell me you're in a band?" I asked.

"Because we've never really been a band." He said.

"Why not?"

"Because we've never had a singer," he said and looked at me with an unsure expression. "And that's where you come in."

I looked from him to the band in shock. They want me in the band?

"What? But you can sing." I pointed out. I've ony heard him singing when we were joking around but he was good.

"I'm not as good as you. Besides, we want someone who won't be playing an instrument so they can interact with the crowd better at shows." He said.

Shows? Singing...in front of people? I must have looked scared because he held my hand, rubbing his thumb across it soothingly.

"Please, Kellin. It'll be fun and it's not like it's a serious band or whatever. We just want to record a few demos and send them out to record companies and see what happens after that. We could get signed and get out of this town." He said. He sounded so convincing. I've never considered getting into music after school. I never even thought about what I was going to do once school ended. Writing lyrics and singing are the only things I'm good at so it would make sense to take him up on his offer.

"Are you sure you want to start a band with me? I mean, what if things end between us? Then it would be awkward and stuff." I said.

"How about we not worry about what ifs? Come on, Kellin, please. Just record a few demos with us and we'll see what the record companies think." He said.

I was giving in to him and I knew that maybe a part of me was giving in was because this is the first time I've really been accepted and included into something. But my love for music and all of the ideas I had for music that just wanted to pour out was what made me want to say yes. What harm could come from it anyway? I can back out whenever I want to. It's not like it's a life-time commitment or anything.

"Alright." I finally said. He grinned and turned back to the others.

"He's in." Vic said to them.

"Yes!" Jaime and Mike yelled out at the same time while Tony just smiled. Vic turned back to me.

"I know you have tons of songs, so pick one and we'll practice and see how it sounds, kay?" Vic asked. I was a bit unsure about singing in front of the others, but I did it anyway.

That's how the rest of the afternoon went. The four of them would play bits and pieces of songs they had composed and I would try to work my lyrics into it. We didn't sound half bad, although it would have been better if I had my lyrics with me. I'm sure with a lot of practice we could sound really good together. It really was a lot of fun. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere and had a purpose. Vic was so much different when he was playing music. It's like everyone around him disappeared, except every now and again when he would look up at me and smile. And sometimes when he was playing a particularly difficult part, he would bite his lip in concentration and when he got the part right he would close his eyes and tilt his head back slightly and jesus fucking christ it was such a turn on seeing him do that multiple times throughout a song.

Eventually the afternoon grew into night and Jaime and Tony announced that they had to leave. After saying goodbye to them, Vic took me back up to his room. He closed and locked the door before looking back at me, and with that look I knew full well what his intentions were.

"What time do you have to be home?" He asked.

"At eight." I said, although I didn't know why I even had a curfew. It's not like my dad will even notice me when I get home.

Vic walked towards me and placed his hands on my hips. "Hmm, that gives us an hour to do whatever we want." His voice was seductive and I got those butterflies again. He kissed me, demanding that I kiss him back, which of course I did, giving into his tongue. He walked me back, pushing me onto the bed with him on top. We shuffled back until my head rested on one of the pillows. His lips left mine and he smiled down at me.

"I could really get used to this." He said. His hands were on either side of my body as he hovered above me.

"So could I." I admitted.

"I'm going to touch you now, a lot. Any objections?" He asked and for a split second his confidence fell. I found it ridiculously cute that he was checking to see if it was okay to touch me before he did it. Despite our earlier encounter where he did actually hurt me, I was sure he wasn't going to do it again.

"Nope. Go for it." I said. He grinned and lowered his body to mine, devouring my lips again. He shifted himself so he was in between my legs. He pulled my thighs up so they were around his hips and then he rocked into me, creating friction between us. It felt really fucking good. I arched my back up, silently begging him to do it again. He smirked into the kiss before kissing along my jaw, to my neck. I was quickly beginning to notice how sensitive I was on my neck and if I had realized it sooner I wouldn't have taken so long before finding a boyfriend.

As he assaulted my neck I had to bite my tongue to stop from making any embarrassing moans. One of his hands started going underneath my shirt and he massaged my hips roughly, while my hands were around his neck and shoulders. He pulled back, pulling me up with him and in a swift movement my shirt was gone and on the floor. I looked at him as he quickly disposed of his shirt too. I took a second to admire his small, yet muscular body. And then there was me, the skinny, pale, white boy.

"You look perfect." He read my mind before kissing me again, pushing me back to the bed. He pressed his chest against mine, sharing each others warmth. I gripped his waist and pulled him down to me, just wanting his body to be as close as possible. He responded by rubbing himself into me. The feeling made my skin go hot and prickly. I knew he was just as turned on as I was. He continued grinding himself against me until I couldn't kiss him anymore because I was breathing so heavily.

"Fuck." I whispered.

"Language." He scolded jokingly. He licked my neck, making me tremble below him. Oh shit, how far is this going to go?

"Does it feel good?" He whispered, rolling against me again. I held back a whimper and didn't answer him. He knew full well what he was doing to me. He bit and sucked on my neck and his hand went to my crotch, lightly palming it slowly. I let out a deep moan.

"That's what I wanted to hear." He whispered against my ear. I brought his head to mine again and kissed him to shut him up. His hand travelled up to where my zipper was and he pulled it down slowly, cautiously, waiting for my reaction and I...well...I panicked. I stopped and pushed his chest away gently.

"Wait." I choked out, looking up at the gorgeous Mexican boy on top of me who was so ready to go further with me, but I wasn't.

"Too fast?" He asked. All I had to do was nod before he rolled off of me, both of us trying to get our breathing to go back to normal. I turned my head to look at him and he looked at me.

"You're killing me, Kels." He said. He gestured towards the obvious bulge in his pants. Hey, I know how he felt. I was in the same prediciment, but I just felt as though we were going too fast.

"I'm sorry." I whined, rolling onto my side. "I've just never...like..." I couldn't explain it, but apparently I didn't have to because Vic just rolled onto his side too, facing me, and kissed me.

"It's okay. I mean, it's a bit annoying, but I get it. Come on, I'll walk you home." He said. He got out of bed, bringing me with him and we picked up our shirts, putting them back on. I felt kind of stupid, just stopping us like that. What did I think would happen? We were all over each other. Most couples would have kept going to relieve themselves of the sexual tension, but then there's me who freaks out instead. I guess I'm just nervous? No, that's not the word. Maybe self conscious. Like, what if I'm not good at the physical things? What if he doesn't want me afterwards? What if he thinks I'm gross or something? I knew that once we got over the first hurdle then I'll be fine, but it's too soon for that. Hopefully he'll be okay with just kissing for now...