It's Harder Breathing Next To You // KELLIC

25

"Y'know, I'm all for going home and uh, doing some more things with you." Vic said to me as we stood outside his car. We were both clothed, but both still kind of a shaking mess from what happened moments before.

"I'd love to, but our music assignment is due today, remember?" I asked. He sighed, resting his forehead on mine. He brushed his lips over mine before pressing them together. He's making it really difficult to go back to class. "Vic, stop." I pushed him away with a smile.

"I can't help it. You're just too cute." He grinned while biting his lip. Right, I'm the cute one? Has he looked in a mirror lately?

I sighed, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him one more time before letting him go.

"Come on, Casanova. Back to reality." I said.

We walked back into the school building separately considering lunch had just ended and the halls were filled with people shuffling along to their next class. It would have looked really suspicious if we both came back together. Vic had disappeared near the front of the school. I gathered he was probably going to one of the other entrances at the sides or back of the school. Either way, I missed his presence immediately. I made my way, by myself, to my locker and got my notebook and the USB which had mine and Vic's song on it and then went to class. He was already there when I got there. I took my spot next to him in the seat down the back. Vic didn't even look at me. I wasn't surprised though. Whenever we're in music class he tends to go back to how he was during my first week here, either ignoring me or teasing me. The rest of the class filed in, along with Mrs Ascot.

"Good afternoon. I hope you all have your songs ready for me. We'll be listening to them one by one today and I'll grade you on the spot. Who's first? Oh, Matty?" Mrs Ascot asked. Matty, who was sitting in the front row, gave his USB to the teacher and told her the name of the song. However, I was too distracted by Vic to pay attention.

"You have our USB, right?" He whispered to me. I could feel his hot breath on my skin. I had to scoot away a little bit so he didn't have his usual fucking effect on me. I just nodded and we went back to listening to every student's songs. Most of them were good. There were a lot on acoustic or electric guitar. There were some pretty bad ones that failed; mainly people just making a lot of noise with whatever their instrument was. There was a particularly horrifying one involving a trumpet.

Finally it was mine and Vic's turn. I handed him the USB to give to the teacher because I didn't want to stand up in front of the class and tell them the name of it and stuff. What can I say? I'm still shy around people.

"What's the name of the song?" Mrs Ascot asked.

"Fire." Vic said. The teacher smiled and Vic returned to his seat. I was nervous as hell as Mrs Ascot plugged the USB into the laptop. I've never shown anyone my lyrics, except for Vic and those idiots from the party, so this was kind of confronting. The song started playing and I sat there, with my eyes down, tearing at the edges of my notebook. The whole class was deadly silent throughout the whole song. At least with other songs they were either laughing at how dreadful it was or commenting on how good certain parts were, but no, they were silent the whole time. Then again, maybe that's because this is the first song shown today with singing in it. When it was over the whole class surprised me by clapping. I looked at Vic. A small smile was forming on his face. We looked over at Mrs Ascot, waiting for our grade.

"Well, you know I have to grade you separately, so your marks will be a little different." She said while writing on a piece of paper. She got up and handed us two separate pages. I looked down at my mark happy with what I got.

"What'd you get?" Vic asked once the class started chattering and couldn't hear us.

"A minus." I said with a grin. "You?"

"Uh well," He looked at me cautiously before handing me his sheet. I looked at it. It had A plus written on it. I looked back at Vic, smiling.

"You deserve it." I said.

"No, you deserve it. I don't see why you didn't get a better mark." He frowned.

"Hey, I'm happy with my grade. It was probably just because I didn't play an instrument like I was supposed to." I said. He's being silly about this, but it was kind of cute.

"Maybe." He said and changed the subject quickly. "By the way, I have something tell you." He said.

"What is it?" I asked.

"You know how I asked you to be in a band with me and the guys?" He asked. I nodded.

"Well, I got them to play the instrumental to that song, then I added your vocals to it and sent it away to a record company." He said quickly as if it were no big deal.

"What?" I asked shocked. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You weren't talking to me at the time and I needed something to distract myself, so I did that. It sounds really good with an electric guitar, drums and bassline by the way." He said.

"Why are you just telling me this now?" I asked. He shrugged and thought about it for a minute.

"I don't know. I guess once we started talking again I was a bit preoccupied by other things." He said and winked. I looked around quickly to see it anyone noticed. They didn't.

"Right. So uh, did the record company like it?" I asked. I hoped they did because honestly I have no idea what I want to do after school and singing is the only thing I'm good at. If the record companies don't like it then I'm screwed. I was still annoyed that Vic didn't tell me though. I could have made my singing a bit better, or louder considering it wasn't just an acoustic song anymore.

"Don't know. It probably hasn't even gotten to them yet. Even if it has it'll probably take a while before they actually listen to it." He said. We stopped talking about it after that. I was stuck in my own thoughts thinking about how cool it would be if we got signed. I could finally get out of this place and away from my dad.

After class, Vic and I walked out together towards our lockers, but kept a distance in between us. You have no idea how difficult it is to hold back the temptation to hold his hand. But as we were walking down the hallway we noticed a commotion. There was a crowd of students huddled in the hallway, but we couldn't see through.

"What do you think is going on?" I asked Vic.

"Oh, I think know." He said with a devilish smile.

I looked back to the crowd. People were starting to move back and a moment later I saw Craig being escorted through the crowd by a police officer and the principal.

"Oh my God." I whispered, trying to keep my smile back. This was obviously Vic, Jaime, Tony and Mike's doing. Craig glared at Vic and I as he walked past, but didn't say anything to us. I looked up at Vic. His eyes were dancing with amusement.

"Cops though? Is that necessary?" I asked.

"He's had it coming for a while." He said with a shrug.

I have to say, seeing Craig dragged off by a police officer was just the cherry on top of a perfect day.

—-

Vic and I were in his car, alone, driving down my street after school. The plan was to go back to my place for a couple of hours before my dad got home from work, but when we got there, my dad's car was in the driveway.

"What's he doing here?" Vic asked. His voice was bitter and venomous. He really doesn't like my dad, although my dad hasn't hit me in a while now.

"I have no idea." I said. I sighed and looked at Vic. "Rain-check?"

"Or we could go back to my place." He suggested. I shook my head.

"I don't have permission." I said and he rolled his eyes. We looked at each other for a moment longer, neither of us really wanting to leave the other, but it had to be done. Now that my dad is here for whatever reason, he's going to expect me back straight after school and if I'm not back then there will be hell to pay.

Finally Vic leaned over and kissed me. The feeling of his lips still lingered on mine even when he pulled away.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow." He said sadly, doing that adorable pout.

"Yeah, see you then." I said and pecked his lips once more before I got my bag and left the comfort of his car, which by the way was becoming my new favorite place. I walked towards the house, not looking back at Vic because I knew I'd probably give in and go and get back in that car and just get myself into trouble. When I walked inside the first thing I did was listen. I was listening out for any kind of, uh, sex noises so I didn't walk in on anything like I did once before. There was nothing though; just the dull roar of the television. I walked into the living room and my dad was there, already drinking. He was still wearing his suit though. It's funny, I never actually asked him what his job was. All I know is that it's at some corporation. Back at home before he started drinking he was on his way to becoming the CEO of a farming company, the only real big business in our small town, so I knew he had some sort of skills in the business world.

"Uh, dad?" I asked to get his attention. His eyes shot up at me, glaring. "Um, sorry. I just, I'll go." I said and went to leave but his firm voice stopped me.

"Stop." He demanded. I looked back at him nervously. I knew where this was headed. I knew that look. Why couldn't I have just went straight to my room? "I got fired today. They wanted a family man. Y'know, a wife, a couple of adorable kids. They said it was good for business. But no, all I've got is you." He snarled.

"That's...that's not m-my fault." I said. It was different seeing him angry again and it reminded me of how scared I was of him. He had been so nice lately and happy. Now he was back to his old self; angry at me for something I had no control over.

"Oh, but it is your fault." He said. He placed his beer bottle down on the coffee table and stood up. He came over to me with that rage filled look and I closed my eyes, waiting for it. And there it was, the blow to the stomach that had me doubling over in pain, dropping to my knees on the floor. He was going to kick me, I know he was even though my eyes were closed. It was like I could either sense it, or I was so used to it by now. The kick didn't come though. He was distracted by the home phone ringing. I stayed in my position on the ground, too afraid to move. I didn't want to provoke him anymore. I heard him walk away and pick up the phone.

"Joanne, baby, hey." He said. My stomach turned hearing him call her baby. He was happy now though, talking to her, so I took this as my chance to leave. I got up, holding my stomach and walked to the front door. I didn't even look back before walking out. I dropped my arm immediately from my stomach when I saw that Vic's car was still there. He was looking at me through the open window.

"Why are you still here?" I asked as I walked over to him.

"I had a feeling." He said. "Did he hurt you?"

I shook my head. "No." Lie. He gestured for me to get in the car and I didn't hesitate before walking around and getting in. He started the car and we were driving off towards his house.

"Did he hurt you?" He asked me again, glancing from the road to me.

"No, Vic, I'm fine, really. He just yelled and said some things that's all." I said. More lying, but I know that if I told him he hit me then he would go back there and get himself into trouble.

"What did he say?" He asked.

"Nothing. Just forget it." I said quickly and looked out the window. My stomach still hurt, but really it wasn't that bad. I was more upset over the fact that he was hurting me again. I thought that things would be fine for a while or that he finally got over his hatred of me. I finally started feeling safe being at home, knowing that he was never in the mood to hurt me. He had barely even said anything nasty to me lately either, but once again he proved that he still hates my worthless self. "All I've got is you". He had said that so bitterly and resentfully. Why can't he just accept me?

Before I knew it Vic was pulling into his driveway, but I was still looking out the window, not moving.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I thought about it. Am I? I have an amazing boyfriend and friends now. I should be happy. Everything should be perfect, but even when things are perfect, one little depreciating comment can make me forget about those things. One little bad thing can wipe away all the good just like that. It sucks knowing that both your parents don't want you in their lives. I slowly shook my head, a tear escaped from one of my eyes. How could I go from such a high to such a low?

"Not really." I whispered. I wiped the tear from me eye and looked at Vic. "Sorry." I wasn't quite sure what I was sorry about. Maybe because I was crying in front of him or maybe because I was supposed to be happy because I was with him, I don't know.

He undid my seat belt, wrapped his arms around my waist and easily pulled me over onto his lap, hugging me. I rested my head on his shoulder, wrapping my arms around him, enjoying the comfort he never failed to give me from his hugs, but still, I cried. Sometimes I feel like just crying, even over such stupid things. I do it quite often even if I don't have a real reason. The only difference with this time is that I have someone to hold me and tell me everything will be okay.