It's Harder Breathing Next To You // KELLIC

35

Two days. It's been two days and I haven't heard a peep out of Vic. He didn't go to school yesterday which didn't surprise me at all. Today however I had heard that he's back, but I haven't seen him yet. There are so many rumors going around about him. Some people initially thought that he killed someone, but it soon got around that he beat up my dad. I don't know how that got out, but it did. And now everyone keeps asking me why and I just ignore them. They all have their theories though. Most of them just think that Vic is defending a friend, but then there are those few people that realize that's ridiculous because most know that Vic and I aren't friends anymore. I don't even care what they think though. They can go ahead and have their conspiracy theories. I felt so lost since I left the hospital. I was lost without Vic and I was lost because my dad still wasn't home. I just existed by myself and it confused me for a little bit. I didn't like being alone. Even if my dad was there I'd have some sort of emotion running through me, like anger or hatred, but I had nothing to focus my energy on and that bothered me.

Right now it was lunch time and I seriously thought about not going to the cafeteria but I wanted to see Vic, even if I was sitting across the room from him, not talking to him. I wanted to see how he is. I wanted to see if he was happy that I got my dad to drop the charges. I wanted to see why he hadn't tried to talk to me. It was unlike him. Had he given up? I feel like a selfish idiot. I don't deserve him to keep fighting for me because I keep pushing him away. That's my own fault and I should deal with it.

So I was on my way to the cafeteria and I didn't even make it there. Why? Because Jenna stood in front of me, blocking my way. She had a serious look on her face so I was guessing she heard the rumors about Vic. There were still some people in the hall, so we waited for them to clear out. I wanted to just walk around her and ignore her, but I know that would only make things worse. Finally the halls cleared and she spoke up.

"You know, you have a funny way of keeping away from Vic. I mean, there's something about Vic beating up your dad which doesn't really scream 'it's over.'" She barked at me. I rolled my eyes.

"I can't control what Vic does. We're still broken up." I told her, trying to keep my cool.

"Well you better be, because if I find out that you're still together then I'll tell the whole school your secret, you can count on that." She threatened. With that she walked away, but not before giving me one last dirty look. I fucking hate that witch so much! Where does she get off ruining my life like this? I sighed and started walking back down the hall, but something stopped me.

"Wait, so that's why you broke up with Vic?" I jumped at the sound of Mike's voice. Spinning around, I saw him walk out of the boy's bathrooms. My jaw dropped and I didn't know what to say. He heard that? I've spent all this time hiding this and he hears because Jenna and I are too stupid to have a quiet conversation?

"Mike, please don't tell him." I begged without giving him a real explanation. I didn't know what to say. All I know is that I have to stop him from telling Vic. He didn't reply to me, he just gave me a curious look before walking off in the direction of the cafeteria. "No, no Mike, please. It'll ruin him!" I followed him down the hall continuously begging him to forget about it but it was like he couldn't even hear me.

We got to the cafeteria and Mike walked straight over to Vic and started talking to him. Vic; he looked good, I guess, for someone who spent a night in a jail cell. He always looks good though. I was freaking out now. I stopped walking in the middle of the cafeteria, unsure of what to do. Vic looked at me. Yeah, they're definitely talking about me. Oh shit. This is bad. So bad. I looked at Jenna for help. Of course she was looking back at me. She got up straight away and stormed over to me.

"What is going on?" She whispered in a panicked tone.

"I-I don't, uh, Mike, he heard us." I said to her and looked back at Vic. He stood up and was walking towards us.

"Well that's a shame for Vic's reputation then, isn't it?" Jenna said calmly. She looked at Vic just before he got to us. She ran away quickly, probably scared about whatever he was going to do. He wasn't even looking at Jenna though. He didn't even acknowledge that she had been there or that she ran away. His eyes were just fixated on me.

"Is what Mike's saying true? Did Jenna blackmail you into breaking up with me?" He asked. He seemed hurt. All I could think of to do was lie.

"No." I said frantically, but anyone would be able to tell that was a lie. He didn't believe me, of course.

"Why didn't you tell me what she was doing?" He asked angrily. Alright, time to tell him the whole truth then, from my own mouth, not Mike's. In all honesty, part of me really wanted him to know the truth, even if it meant Jenna telling everyone his secret.

"She said that she'd tell everyone our secret if I didn't break up with you. I don't care if people know about us, but I know you do. Your reputation would have been ruined if I didn't do what she said." I explained. He gave me a confused look.

"My rep? This was about my rep? Kellin, I am in love with you. I don't give a shit about my rep!" He shouted. The whole cafeteria went silent and my heart stopped. Did that just happen? Did he really just say that to me in front of all of these people? Oh fuck, he loves me? He just said it, didn't he? Oh my God.

I didn't waste another second. Without really thinking about it I jumped into his arms, crashing my lips onto his. I missed his taste. I missed being so close to him. Every single bit of longing and angst went into that kiss. His arms wrapped around me as he kissed back, not caring that our whole school was watching us. I couldn't even hear their reactions. I didn't even care because Vic loves me and he cares about me more than his stupid reputation. Everything that I had worried about vanished.

Eventually we stopped kissing each other, but not letting go. We looked at each other and I couldn't stop the grin that spread across my face. "I love you too." I whispered. He smiled, bringing his hands up to caress my cheeks. He brought his lips to mine again, kissing me sweetly. There were all kinds of whispering and yelling surrounding us but I didn't care. Some were shouting out 'faggots', and by some I meant Josh. Vic pulled away again. I glanced around us nervously. Everyone was watching our little display. Vic moved my chin so I was looking at him again. He didn't seem fazed at all by the people.

"Listen to me. I'm going to take you home and I'm going to make love to you. Understand?" He asked. I just nodded because in all honesty that's all I wanted to do with him right now. I wanted and needed him so badly. My body ached to be closer to him. He slipped his hand into mine and we went to walk out of the cafeteria but we were stopped. Josh and his friends were all standing in front of us with disgusted looks on their faces.

"I hope you know you're ruined now." Josh snarled in his British accent. Vic let go of my hand, stepped forward and punched Josh right in the middle of his face. I gasped and took a step back. Violent Vic strikes again, except this time I didn't really care. This time I found it unbelievably hot.

"Now that I've made my point, let's go." Vic said to me. He took my hand again and we stepped over Josh who was on the ground. I chuckled at the sight and kept walking with Vic. He made his point alright. As we walked out everyone averted their eyes so they didn't make Vic mad. They're still scared of him.

The two of us practically ran to his car, jumped in, quickly started it up and drove away. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I can't believe that all I had to do was tell him and he'd be okay and that he wouldn't care if they whole school found out about us. I'm so stupid sometimes. I could have saved a whole lot of heartache, then again, who was I to know that it would have worked out fine?

"I really wish you'd give me a little more credit. You mean so much more to me than my stupid reputation." Vic said. I turned to look at him. I just wanted to jump on him or something.

"I'm sorry. I just didn't want to hurt you." I said.

"And I love that." He said, taking my hand. "But next time something's wrong I need you to tell me right away, alright? No more keeping things bottled up."

I nodded, leaning over to him and kissing his cheek. I didn't stop there though. We'd been separated for so long, well at least it was long in teenage time, and I wanted to touch him and kiss him just to make up for lost time. I unbuckled my seatbelt, moved closer and kissed his neck.

"Kellin, you're going to make me crash." He said with a chuckle. He knows these streets like the back of his hands. He drives them every day and could probably do it blindfolded if he had to, so I kept kissing his neck and lightly nibbling on his ear lobe. I trailed my hand across his stomach and down to his thighs which I rubbed lightly. We were almost back to his place and it was getting so hard not to go any further. He put his hand over mine, making me stop. I sighed and moved away from him, sitting back in my seat. I kept watching him as he pulled into his driveway and turned the car off. I was thinking about how differently today could have gone. Mike could have not overheard and instead I'd be sitting in the cafeteria casting longing glances in Vic's direction, and he'd be sitting over there with his friends, just as heartbroken as I was.

"I'm really sorry for what I did." I said. He shook his head and held my hand.

"Don't apologize, well at least not right now. The last thing I want to do right now is talk about this." He said, his voice seductive. I knew exactly what he wanted to do instead of talking. I smiled, blushed, and got out of the car with him. We ran into his empty house and up the stairs. I can't believe we're finally going to do this, I mean, we've done it before but we can barely remember it. It's like the first time all over again. I had to admit, I was nervous, but I was excited too.

The second Vic and I got to his room, his lips were on mine and he was pulling me closer, sliding his arms around my back. I tangled my fingers in his hair, keeping his lips on mine. We moved in sync, biting each other's lips, letting our tongues paly together. His hands moved to my hips, gripping them hard and pushing himself into me. I could tell he wanted me just as much as I wanted him. I led him towards the bed, pushing him down onto it with me falling on top of him. I straddled him and started leaving a trail of kisses down his neck.

"I missed you," I lightly bit his neck, "so much."

"I can tell." He said with a chuckle and rolled his hips upwards. His hands slipped up the sides of my stomach and the next second my shirt was gone. I went to kiss his lips again but he moved his head to the side. I looked at him inquisitively. Why is he stopping?

"Are you 100% sure you want to do this?" He asked. That's so sweet that he's making sure I'm alright with this. But I always wanted to wait until I was in love with someone and they were in love with me, and although that wasn't the case the first time, it definitely was now. There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to do this with him.

"Yes." I said definitively. I rubbed my hands up and down his chest as I talked to him. "There's nothing I want more than to be as close to you as I can possibly be."

He smiled and bit his bottom lip. "Good, but if you don't mind, I'm going to take control now." He said and in a swift movement he had me on my back, his lips attacking mine again with eagerness. I needed his clothes off. Now. I pulled his shirt up, breaking our lip contact for a second to take it off and throw it to the floor. I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought him back to me. God, his lips are so soft, but the way he kissed was anything but soft. You know what else isn't soft? I could feel him rubbing against me.

"You know what I just remembered?" He asked breathlessly.

"What?" I breathed.

"How much this turns you on." He said and kissed my neck. My whole body shuddered at the touch. He's right, that does turn me on and it's been so long since he's kissed my neck. He did it again and again and suddenly I hated the fact that he was wearing pants. I wanted him now more than ever. It shouldn't be legal for me to be so turned on by him. We must have had the same idea because the next second we were both hastily undoing each other's jeans. He sat back for a minute to tug my jeans and my boxers off and throw them to the floor. I watched him, admiring him, as he took his own pants off, leaving him naked. His eyes were full of lust as he lowered himself on top of me again and of course, went straight to my neck, forming hickeys. He rocked into me, our naked body's rubbing together. His hard-on was sliding against mine. Fuck foreplay, I just want him now.

"Please, Vic. Please m-make love to me." I gasped. I felt a little silly saying those words but somehow asking him to "fuck" me didn't describe what I wanted him to do. Fucking and making love are two completely different things.

"Anything for you." He said. "Just relax for a minute. I know we've done it before but I still don't want to hurt you."

I did as I was told and relaxed, knowing that he was probably going to prepare me; which is exactly what he did; inserted a couple of fingers in me. It felt a little uncomfortable but it didn't hurt. In a way I guess I was glad that drunken night happened, it just means that now when we finally do it while sober, it won't hurt as much and it'll be that much more pleasurable.

"Hurry up." I begged him. I just want him to be closer.

"So impatient." He teased. He stopped preparing me and leaned over to his bedside table. He opened the drawer and pulled out a condom and a bottle of lube. It's good to see he's so...organized. I wonder if he knew that this would happen eventually, or maybe if he was just hoping it would. He must have if he kept those things in his bedside table at the ready.

He leant down and kissed me again, slower than the other times today. His hands moved from my hips, down the sides of my thighs. He pulled them up, dragging me closer to him. I locked my thighs around his hips and pushed up impatiently. I just want him inside me. He pulled back a little and took the condom off the bed and ripped it open. I watched him roll it onto his member. My desire for him was getting stronger and stronger as I waited in anticipation. He picked up the bottle of lube, but I sat up and quickly took it from him. I smiled lightly at him and poured some the liquid into my hand and stroked him, sliding it all over. I looked up at him. He had closed his eyes and was just enjoying the feeling. I loved seeing him like that.

"Okay, stop or I won't last long." He said, taking my hand away. He pushed me back down onto my back and position himself on top of me. I felt him start to go in a couple of inches. Once again that uncomfortable pinching feeling was there but overall it felt okay. He kept going and I held my breath. When he was finally all the way in I let out the breath. That was okay. I was kind of scared it would hurt a lot, but it didn't at all really.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm perfect. Keep going." I said. He smiled and leant down to kiss me. He slowly moved out and then pushed back in. It felt...amazing. I felt so full and I couldn't be any happier knowing that it was Vic making me feel this way. He kept going at an agonizingly slow speed. He was acting as though I could break at any moment.

"Go faster." I demanded. He gave me his 'are you sure' look and I nodded. "Faster and harder, please." He smiled and started thrusting in faster. It felt so good, like complete ecstasy. His lips once again found my neck and he kissed every soft spot, which was pretty much everywhere. I moaned beneath him which made him bite me lightly. I was breathing heavily and crying out every time he pushed back in and hit that one spot, the one spot that had my body shivering.

"You're so beautiful." He said in my ear with a husky voice. The compliment made me blush and my heart speed up. I tangled my fingers in his hair and brought his lips back to mine again and kissed him passionately. The kiss kept breaking though as we gasped for air, but his lips kept brushing against mine.

"I love you." I said. "I love you so much I don't think you understand."

He groaned, burying his face in my neck and thrust into me harder.

"Oh, G-god Kels." He moaned, going faster than ever before. I could tell he was getting close and I was too. The familiar feeling was welling up in the pit of my stomach.

"Please." I begged. He knew what I wanted. His hand wrapped around my member and he flicked his wrist up and down. "Vic..." I whimpered desperately.

"Y-yeah, oh, ah-", He moaned. He shuddered above me, thrusting into me quickly for the last few times and gasping my name. I knew he just came, and after seeing the look of complete lust in his eyes as he looked at me, it wasn't long before I too was climaxing, exploding around him in a fit of moans. I didn't ever want to come down from this high.

"That was amazing." He breathed shakily as he pulled out of me and fell onto the bed. I couldn't find the words to speak anymore so I just looked at him and nodded. He smiled and pulled me into his arms, kissing the side of my forehead.

"I'm never letting you go." He said. That was fine with me because I never want to be out of his arms again.