Mad Ember

7: Relief

The songs I add before a chapter hint to the feelings and messages that will rise within it. It gives my characters a real voice. It brings them to life. All songs will be provided! :) And the playlist is on spotify!

S O N G F O R C H A P T E R : "Until the Levee"
B Y : Joy Williams

"I'm going to stand,
stand here in the ache."

Another week has passed. Another whole week. I still feel like something is missing. Like a part of my life that I need, but haven't experienced yet. I saw Collet by chance after she helped me with the radiation and spoke to her about it. She seemed surprised and said she didn't know what it was either but said fate would work it out. I laughed as she said that.

But now, sitting here by the lake, my mind rolls over what she said.

Fate.

I never really believed in it. If it is real, then it's fucked me over more times than I can count. My mind travels to Corban. This all started after him. And it's his voice in my head, it's his face I see when I fall asleep. It's him. If it's not, I don't know what else it could be. I have no other theories.

It will fade with time. I just have to give it some. Give myself more time. I've been trying to get back into my groove for a while now, I just have to keep reminding myself that things will go back to the way they were and that's good. I am not going to let this attack dictate my life. I can't.

'You don't have to be alone.' That's what he had said. It keeps playing over and over in my mind like a broken record. I grip at my ears, trying to block it out, but it only seems to get louder.

"Ahhhg!" I scream to the wind gripping a handful of rocks and throwing them into the lake.

"Feel better?" I whip my head around and am surprised to see Collet. Her hair seems even wilder today. The tight black curls are going in every direction, slightly hiding her browned skin.

"You know when you said that you wished your visits didn't always mean you needed something, I didn't think you would actually start visiting more." She laughs, and her face crinkles showing her age for a split second.

"Sorry little one." She whispers, taking a seat next to me. "You still can't shake the feeling?" I drop my head.

"No." Shaking my head slightly, I look back up. "I can't."

"Any new theories?" She questions looking at me. I quickly contemplate if telling her more about Corban is worth anything. How could such little interaction stir such immense feelings? It doesn't make any sense. But I end up deciding that she would appreciate all the little details. That's just how she is, same as I, we have to know everything.

"Yes actually. I might have mentioned the idea of him to you before, but it's gotten worse." She already seems more interested.

"Him?" I nod my face stern.

"Yes. Corban. He's the beta of the East Atlantic Pack. The pack that... saved me." The word saved feels like sandpaper on my tongue, but ultimately I know that they were the only reason I survived the attack. Collet really nailed me on that one.

"He won't leave my mind. Hell, we've never even spoken, but sometimes I hear his voice in my head. Saying things like 'we could create our own world' and that I 'don't always have to be alone.'" Collet nods, paying close attention.

"Well, he's right about at least one of those things. You don't have to be alone, little one."

I laugh, looking at her then looking back at the lake.