Don't Ever Forget

VI.

The tears escape just as I get to the Atrium on my way home. My vision is blurry and I weave through the crowd as fast as I can.

"Woah woah, Y/N, what's wrong?" I hear Ron ask but I walk past him. I know he cares and I feel bad for ignoring him but I just don't know what to say. I can't wrap my head around what just happened and I don't know if I can explain it. I soon feel a soft hand loop around my arm and walk with me out the entrance and once we get outside Hermione pulls me into her and lets me cry into her shoulder. She stays silent for a moment and gently strokes the back of my head. I feel the presence of Ron and Harry beside us but they stay silent, too.

"H-he called me a mudblood," I say between tears. I hear Hermione gasp and Harry and Ron look at each other in disbelief.

"Who did? Was it Malfoy?" Harry asks angrily.

"No, no. It was Billingsgate." I reply, trying to regain my composure. I feel so pathetic for crying over a word but it was so unexpected and humiliating.

"Billingsgate said that?" Ron asks, shocked.

"I knew he was terrible from the first time you brought him up." Hermione says, still holding onto me comfortingly.

"We have to tell the Minister." Harry says and Ron nods in agreement.

"We can't. He won't do anything. There isn't proof and Billingsgate is respected while I'm just a new committee member. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let it get me so worked up." I say, wiping away the tears.

"I think we should talk somewhere in private. Do you mind if we all go to your flat for a while?" Harry asks.

"I don't mind at all." I say, glad that they'll be keeping me company.

"The Ministry needs a lot more work than I thought." Harry says, sitting at my kitchen table. Ron sits across from him at my table and Hermione sits with me on my couch. I appreciate Hermione being here for me, even more so because I know she understands what it's like to be muggleborn around purebloods and pureblood supremacists.

"What can we do about it? We are just Aurors and Billingsgate isn't exactly a dark wizard. We don't have enough influence to make him face any consequences." Ron says.

"Why did he call you that anyways?" Hermione asked. I hesitate to answer because I'll have to admit that I was talking to Draco.

"Draco was standing beside me while I was outside the Lead Obliviators Office and, well, Billingsgate scolded me for talking to him and told me that's what Draco thought of me." I said, avoiding Harry's eyes.

"Well he's not wrong." Harry replied coldly after a few moments of complete silence.

"Harry!" scolded Hermione.

"What? It's true isn't it? That probably is what Draco thinks of you Y/N! Maybe he was just warning you. Maybe you have it twisted." Harry continued angrily. I knew it was a mistake to bring Draco up, but I couldn't lie.

"C'mon Harry, that's not fair..." Ron starts but Harry goes on.

"Don't you remember Hermione? He's called you that multiple times! Have you forgotten how he treated you? Have all of you forgotten?" Harry stares at each of us angrily but no one dares talk back to him when he's this upset. He disapparates and leaves just Hermione and Ron with me.

"I really messed up." I said, sighing and feeling like I betrayed Harry by talking to Draco.

"No, Y/N, you were just being civil. You talk to people you work with, no matter who they are. Harry's upset because, well, there's a lot of bad blood there. Me and Ron aren't exactly fond of Draco either but it's not your fault. Harry knows that, too." Hermione says reassuringly. I couldn't bring myself to tell her that it wasn't just at the Ministry but out at lunch, too. What would she think of me then?

"I'm a bit tired, I think I should go to bed soon." Hinting politely that I wanted to be alone. Hermione and Ron look at each other worriedly.

"Alright, we'll see you tomorrow then." Hermione smiles and gives me a strong hug. Ron waves and smiles at me before they both disapparate and I am left alone in my flat.

I've been lying in bed for 2 hours, unable to sleep. I've been trying to excuse Billingsgate's behavior towards me as just being protective of a new committee member but it doesn't sit right with me at all. His behavior is more like possessive. He's always displaying his power over me and there's nothing I can do. He wants me to be where he is at all times, wants me to listen to what he says. He doesn't treat any of the other committee members like this. Maybe he has in the past? No, I doubt it.

I take out my wand and point it at my ceiling.

"Expecto Patronum," I whisper, thinking about how happy Hermione, Ron and Harry were after their first day. A glowing mist drifts from the end of my wand and a Siberian cat forms from it. It frolics around the air for a moment until it fades away. At that moment, I feel extremely lonely. Keeping the secret of my unreasonable attraction to Draco is putting a strain on my friendships and has even jeopardized my job. One moment I'm afraid of him and the next I feel like there's so much more to him than his past. Why is talking to this one boy so harmful? I wonder if he feels as lonely as I do right now.