New Beginnings: A Hessa Story (2)

Chapter 47: Hardin

"No, Leanne, the other room." Landon says after a woman I don't recognize bursts into his office. She has tears in her eyes, and snot running out of her nose.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She shields her face away from me, and quickly walks down the hall.

"What the fuck was that?" I ask Landon, who looks just as confused as I was.

"I'm not really sure. Some girl Nora knows from work, I guess. She showed up here hysterically crying saying that her boyfriend broke up with her."

"Yikes."

"Yeah..." He leans against the table. "So, are you almost done?"

"Just about. I have to put it in this frame." I begin to take apart the back of the frame, so I can put the photo in it nicely.

"It's nice that you're doing this, dude. Tessa is gonna love it."

"Which is exactly why I'm doing it." I have taken a lot of hits these past couple of days with Tessa, so I feel like I need to do some big romantic gesture to make it up to her, especially after our run in with Lucy today. "You'll never guess who Tess and I ran into today."

"Who?"

"Lucy. She came to tow our car, and she gave Tess and I such a hard time."

'What do you mean?" Landon leans against his desk, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows in confusion.

"Well, she was just being such a bitch. Like she had the nerve to give Tessa pregnancy advice, and apparently she told her that we had a fling back when I was going to meetings."

"Did you?" Landon asks.

"What the fuck, dude? Are you serious?" Does Landon think that fucking low of me that I would ever do that?

"I don't know." He raises his hands defensively.

"I'm not even gonna fucking answer that. Anyways, I think I'm done." I finish placing the photo into the frame.

"She's gonna love it."

I give him a small nod before gathering my coat. It's only been about ten minutes, so I think Tessa will be in her meeting when I get back. I'll just give it to her after.

"Hey... Hardin." Landon says as I walk out the office. "I'm sorry. I know you would never do anything like that."

I'm glad he fucking knows, but it just annoys the absolute shit out of me that he would even ask me the question. It feels like no matter what I do, no matter how much I show people that I've fucking changed, it'll never be enough. I will still get accused of doing stupid shit, like touching another woman. I don't know what else I could possibly do to get the idea that everything I do is wrong out of everyone's head. I've been trying so hard, so fucking hard, for the past almost decade to be a better person, yet everyone will still see me as the bad guy, even Tessa. It drives me fucking crazy, and I don't know how much longer I'll be able to take it.

"It's fine. Nothing I'm not used to." I shrug and walk out. I only feel an ounce of satisfaction because now Landon feels bad. As he fucking should. As I step out the front door, I realize that Landon is my ride back to my house. I contemplate just walking because that'll be a hell of a lot better than sitting with him in a car, but I am exhausted and don't feel like walking. I won't let my stubbornness get to me this time.

"You're my ride." I walk back in. I don't even bother asking him for a ride because I know he'll give me one, and I deserve it.

Instead of calling out my rudeness, Landon just nods before walking ahead of me out the door.

-

The car ride is more awkward than I thought it would be. I am seriously just considering jumping out the fucking car and walking the rest of the way home. This is literally the longest five minutes of my life. Even though Landon and I aren't blood brothers, or even brothers by marriage, we still act like we are, and more noticeably, we fight like we are.

"I really am sorry for saying that back there. I am just protective over Tessa, okay? I don't want anyone to hurt her, even if it's unintentional."

"Touching Lucy in a romantic way would be a pretty damn intentional way to hurt Tessa, Landon. Don't you think?" I sass him back.

"You're right." He agrees with me. I kind of like this, not gonna lie. I like when I'm right and Landon's wrong, since it happens so rarely.

"Thanks for the ride." I say as I hop out of the car. I am being way too petty right now, but I'm in a fucking mood. Tessa will be on this fucking business call for who knows how long, so I'll have to be all alone. If Landon didn't just piss me off, I would hang with him.

I walk inside, and set the keys on the table before sitting on the couch. I am so fucking exhausted, but I have to shower. I was hoping somehow Tessa would be done by the time I got home so we could shower together, but I don't think I can sit here in my filth for much longer.

The shower works wonders for my tense muscles, though I do wish Tessa was in here with me. As I rub the bar of soap across my body, I am reminded of Tessa's hands on my skin. Every single goddamn thing I do reminds me of that woman. Every single thing I do is for that woman. I will continue to be better for her, no matter how much people continue to doubt me. The soap slips from my hand onto the floor, and I'm reminded of a time I almost slipped on soap in the shower when Tessa was with me, and it led to a very interesting conversation.

-

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph, Fuck!" I screamed as I slipped on the bar of soap that fell on the shower floor.

"Woah! Be careful." Tessa grabbed my arms as I almost fell flat on my ass. "Jesus, Mary and Joseph?" Tessa laughed as she helped me stabilize myself. I don't know why I even said that. It was something my mum used to say when she'd find spare change in her pant pockets or in the couch cushions.

"I like the name Mary." Tessa smiled up at me.

I didn't say anything. I just bent down, picking up the soap that almost caused me to slip.

"Hardin, we should talk about names!" She said as she washed her stomach.

"Names? You're only a few weeks along." I laughed, grabbing the bar of soap from her hands.

"So? Have you ever thought about names?"

"No." I told her honestly. I never thought about what I would want to name my kid, considering I never thought I would be having any. My name is Hardin for fucks sake, so I just hoped the kid would have a better name than me.

"Well, I have! I like the name John for a boy, or Hannah for a girl, but I also like the names Alexander or Samantha, maybe Jack or Anna too." She told me. The names were pretty basic, but I didn't care.

"Those are nice..." I said with a tiny bit of fake enthusiasm in my voice. I began scrubbing my chest when she grabbed my arms.

"You don't like those..." She frowned.

"It's not that I don't like them, but they're so... basic. I feel like I knew a million John and Hannah's. If I have any say in what our child is to be named, it should be at least somewhat unique."

Even though I hated my fucking name, I liked being the only Hardin in my year at school. I gave my mum credit for choosing such an odd name, but apparently it was fucking Vance who came up with it. The irony...

"Of course you get a say! It's your child too."

"Can we discuss this later? I'm getting soap in my mouth." I smiled to her, and she rolled her eyes.

"Fine. Now turn around so I can get your back." She grabbed the loofah from my hand, and started scrubbing my back.

-

A conversation about names is gonna be coming up soon, but I haven't even thought about it since our last pregnancy. With that thought, I finish showering and hop out.