Chapter 52: Hardin

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New Beginnings.

That's what my life has always been about since I met Tessa. It's about finding and bettering myself to create a new beginning with her. As we celebrate each New Years together, it's like a pat on the back to me. It means I am continuing to do what I swore to her I would do: better myself. It's like a milestone to me in some way, even though it has nothing to do with when we met or got back together or anything.

I never liked New Years, and quite frankly, I still don't. It's just a fucking excuse for people to make promises or resolutions that they know they're not gonna keep. My mum used to make the most stupid New Years resolutions to not eat sugar, or watch less TV, but it never lasted more than a week. In the past, I usually spent New Years drunk or high out my mind, ending the old year and starting the new year the same way I always was: intoxicated. I was too drunk to remember anything most of the time, and would just wake up in piles of my own sweat and sometimes vomit, with the possibility of a woman next to me.

The first New Years I spent with Tessa was the first time I hadn't been drunk for the actual countdown to New Years since I was fourteen. That night is a horrible example of an ideal New Years because that's when Tessa kissed some fucking wanker right in front of me, and I drank myself to sleep on the floor outside of our bedroom after calling her a 'bitch'. Tessa and I don't discuss that night because we both made horrible mistakes that we've moved on from.

Since I've decided to sober up, the past few New Years have actually been pleasant. Tessa and Landon had this New Years tradition they started when they first moved to New York about going to this rundown bar on 5th Avenue, and having tons of drinks, but not getting belligerently drunk. It's Tessa and Landon were talking about anyways, so of course they wouldn't get too drunk off their asses. From what Tessa has told me, they were trying to see the ball drop in Times Square, which in my opinion is the stupidest fucking idea I've ever heard. People are packed in like sardines, and I heard that people pee on the streets or wear adult diapers. Americans are fucking disgusting. Anyways, they were on their way to go when they stopped at this small bar just to use the restroom because they are actually intelligent unlike many in Times Square. In a matter of minutes, the weather got bad, and it started snowing horribly. They stayed in the bar instead of going back outside, therefore commencing the New Years tradition that would continue on years after.

Now here I sit on New Years Eve, drinking coffee while my lovely wife reads a bridal magazine across from me. A year ago, I was with Tessa, but we were not engaged, married, or pregnant. It's amazing how much can change in one year, and I can't wait to continue to experience these amazing changes with Tess. Just thinking that in a year from now we will have a baby to celebrate the New Year with makes me so excited.

"Why are you staring at me?" Tessa asks, looking up from her magazine. I didn't even realize I was staring.

"Sorry, I'm spacing out. Just thinking."

"Care to share?" She places the magazine down and picks up a mug of her decaf coffee.

"Just happy to be spending another New Years with you, the pregnant and married you."

Tessa smiles, lighting up the entire kitchen. She places her coffee mug and walks over to me.

"Same goes for you." She wraps her arms around my neck. "Well, not the pregnant part."

I chuckle. "I figured."

"What are your plans today? Before we go to Freddy's."

"Well..." I try to think of something. "I don't know. I don't think I have any."

"I'm gonna start writing thank you cards to people who got us wedding presents, so if you want to help with that..." Tessa raises her eyebrows, but I would rather do anything else than write thank you cards.

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