Reap the Earth at Which you Stand [boyxboy]

Chapter XIV

~Sunday 19th November 2017~

Dakota let out a sigh as he stared up at his ceiling, trying his best to simply will his mind to relax enough to allow him to sleep. A part of him knew his efforts were in vain, that he wouldn't be able to sleep without physical contact with Vasile, yet he just didn't want to give in. He didn't want to give up hope. It was futile really, Dakota hadn't slept for almost four days. He felt like he was dying.

He was irritable, and lethargic, and just frustrated with the situation. The last few days felt like an age, his mind never getting the opportunity to calm, to deal with his issues in a suitable manner, leaving him conflicted as well as everything else. He had thought about taking some of the sleeping pills Kalvin had prescribed in case he was going through a bad period with his insomnia, however, he had a feeling they wouldn't take effect. Overdosing was an option, although Vasile wouldn't be pleased.

Rolling over in his bed, Dakota tried to find a cool spot under the sheets, ending up with his bare back pressed into the wall. The drop in temperature felt nice against his skin, relaxing his muscles enough to at least feel as though he might drift off to sleep. It was a bizarre sensation, to be so exhausted, yet completely unable to give in to his fatigue. As though he was stuck in some sort of limbo. Or some level of hell, that seemed more accurate.

One might think it was a blessing to not sleep, and Dakota might have agreed on the first night. His mind had been clear, topped up with the multiple coffees he had consumed, and he spent the whole evening painting, another reason why he had gone to see Vasile the previous evening. He had wanted to gift the man with the painting that was currently hidden away in his closet. Hues of grey and purple had streaked over the creamy canvas, finding their way into an image that, honestly, Dakota was pretty damn proud of. He thought Vasile might have liked it, now he was unsure if he would ever have the courage to even tell the man about it.

"Beautiful," Dakota raked his eyes upward to find a mottled and almost complete image of Vasile sat on the bed next to him, gazing down at the boy with a loving expression. The first few times that had happened, around four the previous morning, Dakota had flinched away when the hand reached out to run down his cheek. Now, he leant into it.

"Mmm, definitely not real," Dakota murmured with a meek smile, feeling no sensation from the fingertips on his skin but still able to imagine the heat the reality might have provided. Of course Dakota would hallucinate Vasile, that just made everything a thousand times more complicated.

"Come home to me, kitten," even if the image was merely a projection of Dakota's own thoughts, his darkest desires, the boy still couldn't agree. Vasile was right, he should have stayed that night, he shouldn't have returned back to his family home. Loral could have thought of a believable excuse for his death, he could have run away with the man he was supposed to love, finally find some semblance of happiness. He could have really begun his life. Instead, he ran in the opposite direction. Like the coward he really was.

"I want to, V," Dakota moved closer to the hallucination, his voice a mere whisper as he wished so desperately for the image to become real, to become solid, "you know I want to," it was a perfect depiction, despite how little time Dakota had actually spent with Vasile. He had a good memory, especially with images, yet it seemed his subconscious could remember a face even better.

"Then do it, kitten, come back to me," why did the hallucinations have to be so real? Why did Vasile's image have to be the only company the boy had allowed over the past few days? It, surely, was a bad idea to address him directly, to spend so much time with a figment of his own imagination, much less a gargoyle. He was growing closer to the man, even if he wasn't the real thing.