Just around the corner

Chapter 11

I went to bed last night with the biggest smile on my face. I woke up this morning with the same smile on my face. Last night was just what the doctor ordered. Jason was charming and sweet. He was a true gentleman.

I lay awake in bed, playing on my phone when it pings in my hands. I look at the screen and the smile gets wider, if that is even possible

Jason- Good morning gorgeous lady. Just wanted to tell you again that last night was amazing. I know I'm sounding like a 15-year-old school girl now.

I giggle at his message, which alerts Misty that I am awake. She comes barging in my room all excited and wanting details. I quickly type a response to Jason

Laura- Thank you again for last night. It was what I needed after everything that has gone on. You are a very cute 15yr old 😊

"So Mummy wummy, how was last night? I want all the deets" Misty excitedly squealed out. "Oh calm ya tits Mis. Put them back in your bra" I joke to her. She grabs her boobs and holds them in her hands. "Not wearing a bra, so this is the next best thing" she says while winking at me.

I smile at my daughter. She absolutely has her father's sense of humour. This is something he would have done too. Just the thought of Alex not being here brings a sharp pain to my heart. That smile I thought would never be wiped from my face has instantly disappeared from my lips. Misty notices the change in my attitude. She jumps onto me wrapping her arms around me as best as she can.

"Mum, please don't think this is not the right thing. I have heard of people whose spouses have passed away and they have moved on within months. Jason was set in your path. You were meant to meet him now. Don't ask why. None of us can answer that. This is all in your life's plan. Run with it. If it's meant to be, it will be" Her arms get tighter as the first of my tears start to fall.

**

Misty and I must have fallen back asleep as I am no being woken by the front door being slammed closed. I can hear stomping footsteps coming down the hallway and my bedroom door is being swung open with enough force that it nearly fell off its hinges. Lacy. Her face is bright red, anger is coursing through her veins.

"I knew this was going to happen. I knew you were going to forget about dad. You are such a slut!" Lacy storms out of my room. Slamming doors behind her. Misty and I look at each other. My eyes fill with tears while Misty's go from shocked to pissed off. She goes to jump out of my bed when I grab her arm and shake my head at her. "Don't. It'll only make everything worse" I get out through my sobs.

She was fine yesterday. What the hell happened in 24 hours for her to have this complete 180. I am off in my own head, I didn't notice Misty had left my room. I can hear the girls yelling at each from Lacy's room. I get up out of bed and make my way down to her room.

"Lacy, stop being such a selfish bitch. Mum has the rights to be happy and with the way you are acting, she will never be happy again. The world does not revolve around you. Grow up, Lacy. Dad's gone and he is never coming back. My heart is fucking broken to you know. But fuck Lace, Mum has the right to be fucking happy with someone special in her life"

"Get out of my room Misty. You have no idea what I am going through. She is going to forget about him and everything we have here. All her time will be spent on this new person and she will forget about us. Are you going to be able to live here while she is off with what's his name" Lacy spits out to Misty.

I throw open Lacy's bedroom door and storm in, "Lacy Ann, cut this fucking bullshit out. I am not going to ever forget about your father. EVER. So stop. For once in your goddamn life, think of someone other than yourself. Maybe then you will realise what the fuck you are doing to me. I am a grown woman Lacy and I am your mother, not the other way around" I turn around and walk out of her room.

The look on her face when I let loose, killed me. Mother's guilt is real. I lock myself up in my room and hide under my blankets. Today is the kind of day where I need Alex. He would calm everyone down. He would talk sense into everyone and then at the end of the day we would all be cuddled up on the couch together.

**

The week went quickly. I had spoken to with Chelsea about Lacy and she had no idea what had gone wrong. She said everything at her house was fine and she really thought she had gotten through to Lacy about me moving on.

"Are you going to see Jason again?" She asks as we are making coffees. "Not if it is going to ruin my family unit. My girls come first, my happiness according to Lacy is not important and I am starting to believe it too" I say to Chelsea. Chelsea scoffs at me, "You can't let a 13-year-old dictate your life Laura. Yes we all know that her dad died and we are all still grieving the loss of him, but at the end of the day, you are still human who is capable of feelings and emotions. You deserve happiness and if this is the way to get it, don't let Jason go" Chelsea walks away shaking her head.

She stops and looks at me over her shoulder, "If it all goes to shit, at least you gave it a go. Just remember that Laura. You gave it a go"

I watch her as she walks away, chewing on my lip. Contemplating my options. Do I put my happiness in front of my children? Would that be the right thing to do? So many questions but so little answers.

The end of the work day came quickly after the conversation with Chelz. I know that she is trying to see me happy again but I don't think I can do it to my girls. I can't afford to have Lacy hate me anymore then she already does.

I sit in my car before leaving the car park and pull out my phone to send a message to Jason

Laura- Hi. I'm sorry I am messaging you this instead of calling you or meeting up with you, but I think that we should not continue this. You have done nothing wrong, I just need to focus on my girls. Good luck with everything for the future for you. Laura xx