Head in The Clouds

What If I Never See You Again

Two days after the fire
I am back in the attic. There is smoke all around me.
"Help? I am trapped up here. Someone, anyone help me."
"My sweet little Vanessa. I have been looking for you all over the place. You know you are never supposed to leave me waiting."
"Matthew, what are you doing here?" I yell. "You are at college."
"I am always going to be here, waiting for you. You can never escape me."
He starts to remove his belt and walk towards me.
"No! Please, leave me. Please! Don't do this!" I cry. He grabs my leg and I scream. "NO!"
I am woken up to Usnavi shaking me.
"Vanessa! Wake up! I am here! It was just another dream. It was another bad dream."
"Navi! When did you get in here?"
"I heard you screaming. I didn't want you to wake up alone."
"Navi, he was there, in the attic. There was smoke, she said he will never leave me alone."
"He is gone Vanessa. He has been arrested and is going to jail."
"Don't leave me Navi. Please never leave me."
He holds my hand. "I am here Vanessa. You get some rest. I am right here."
I fall back asleep, crying softly, and holding Usnavi's hand.

Usnavi and I have have had to stay in the hospital for two days, due to sever smoke inhalation. I also have really bad injuries from the night before the fire. I over heard a nurse say my attack was one of the most brutal she has ever seen. The police told me they have arrested Matthew, Amy, and Jake. I don't understand everything going on, but they say Matthew should go to jail for a long time. I hope they are correct.

I am sitting with Usnavi, watching tv and eating dinner, when Camilla comes in the room.
"Usnavi, can I talk to you in private?"
He nods, squeezes my hand, and walks out. Ten minutes later, he walks in, tears in his eyes.
"Usnavi, what's wrong?"
"Camilla had some news for me. It turns out, Jake and Amy lied to me. I was never adopted. I was kidnapped when I was five, from Central Park. I was out with my mom one day when I suddenly disappeared. My parents are from the Dominican Republic. They have been searching for me, for years now."
"What does that mean?"
"I am going back to them. They live in Washington Heights. They are just outside waiting for me."
"Did you see them? Did you remember them?"
"I saw them outside just a moment ago. I remembered my mom. I didn't remember my dad. When I saw my mom, we hugged each other crying. They want me to go with them and the doctor says I am free to be checked out."
"Now? You're leaving now? What about me?"
Camilla walks in just about that time.
"What about me? Do I get to go with Usnavi?"
"I'm sorry sweetheart. His parents are not registered foster parents and have no legal rights to take you. I have found an amazing couple to take you in. Their names are Daniela and Carla Ortega. They both live in Brooklyn. They both work as hairstylist. They have fostered before."
"What happened to their previous foster kids?"
"They were reunited with their parents. They will take great care of you. I have been a case worker on their last two cases. I figured you might be more comfortable in a home where there are no men."
"I don't want to leave Usnavi. He is my best friend."
"Hey, I promise, we will see each other again. I know it. Camilla, can I have her new address, so we can write letters?"
"Of course sweetie. Daniella and Carla already said I can give their address to you."
She writes the address down and hands him the card.
"Promise me you will write Navi."
"I promise Vanessa.
"Usnavi, your parents are waiting for you outside. They are eager to get you home. Vanessa, your foster moms are going to be here this evening. The doctor says she wants to hold you two more days, but than you will be free to go with them."
"Usnavi, don't forget about me."
"I never will. I will write as soon as I can. I promise you."
He hugs me, and I cling to him crying. After a few minutes, he hugs me tight and lets go. He looks around, grabs my bear and hands it to me. "Here, this will make you feel better."
"No, you keep it, to remember me."
"Are you sure? This is your most prized possession."
"Yes."
He removes the necklace he has worn everyday since I have know him.
"Here. You keep this then."
He takes it and puts it on my neck.
"Usnavi, it is time," Camilla says, sympathy in her voice.
He hugs me one last time. He then stands up, looks at me, and waves. I wave back. When he leaves the room, I cling to my blanket, bring my knees to my chest, and cry harder.

Later that night, I am laying in bed, when I hear Camilla come in.
"Sweetheart, I have someone I would like you to meet. Vanessa, this is Daniella and Carla Ortega."
I look up and see two Hispanic women. The first one is tall and has long black hair. The other one stands about a foot shorter, and has short dark hair with blondish highlights.
"Hi honey," the taller woman says. "My name is Carla. This woman is my wife Dani. We are very happy to meet you."
I don't say anything, I just stare at her. Daniella and Carla stare at each other a moment, and shrug. She repeats herself in Spanish."
"I heard you." I say, and then immediately flinch, not believing it just said that to an adult. I look down, waiting for a slap or a punch.
"Sweetheart, there is no need to be afraid of us. We will never hurt you." Daniella says.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I know I'm a bad kid, I would understand if you don't want me anymore."
I feel a soft hand on my cheek, wiping the tear I didn't even know had fallen. "I don't believe, for even a second, you are a bad child. We would love to have you come live with us, if you want. Is that something you would like? I know Dani and I would love it."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Okay. I guess we can try it."
"Good!" They say together.
"Vanessa, can I give you a hug?" Carla asks.
"I..."
"It's okay. When you are ready. Isn't that right Cariño." Daniella says.
Carla smile and nods, taking Daniela's hand.
"Okay."

"I go home with them two days later. For the first time in my life, I have a real bed and bedroom furniture. They take me shopping for clothes and I get a new haircut. We discovered that I have lice. They comb it out the first day while it was long, but it took hours. They said they were okay with combing it but I hated sitting there that long. I asked them to cut it short and it was cut into a pixie cut. Having short also gave me a reassurance that no one can grab it and use it against me.
"You look beautiful sweetheart." Dani says smiling behind me.
I am steadily running my fingers through my hair.
"Thank you."
"Do you like it?"
"Yeah. I do."