Head in The Clouds

Wait! What!

Vanessa Age 47 May
Lucia graduated today. For graduation, the school gave Vivo a cap and gown. They also gave him a diploma. The entire audience either awwed or laughed. Benita found it hysterical.
"Tia, Vivo got a diploma too. He graduated high school."
"I saw honey."
"Vivo is a silly dog."
I laugh and hug Benita. "Your daddy would have been rolling with laughter."
Benita smiles at me and goes to talk to Lucia.
"It's funny how they have the same sense of humor, and they have never met," Nina says, smiling.
"You know Claudia has told her everything about her Daddy. Her and Camilo."
"Yep! Every night for the first eight years. Until she went off to college. Even them, Claudia called often and they would talk about Benny."
"How is Claudia? I miss her so much."
"She tried to get here. Claudia hates she has to miss Lucia's graduation. It is just too close to her due date. She can't travel from Italy so close to having the baby."
"I can't believe Nina Rosario is going to be an Abuela."
"I am so excited. I am going to spoil my grandson rotten. Next week, the twins and I are traveling to see her. We will spend the summer in an Italy countryside."
"What about Ben? When was the last time you heard from him?"
She sigh at the mention of her oldest son. "I have not heard from Ben in two months. He is angry I wouldn't bail him out. His trial is next month he is looking at five years in prison for drug possession."
"I'm sorry. I wish I could do something."
"Thanks, but hopefully this will wake him up."
Ben, now 19, has had some trouble. In reality, he has become a very troubled young man. When he was 15, he started getting in trouble at school. He was expelled from his first school at 16. At 17, he was expelled from another school. He dropped out after that. Before the expulsions, Nina suspected he had a drinking problem. After, it raged out of control. Nina had to kick him out just before his 18th birthday when he attacked Camilo and broke Camilo's arm. Ben was drunk and Camilo was watching Tv. He didn't want to give the remote up, so Ben took his arm and twisted it. Nina took him to the doctor and his arm was broken. She reported it to the police and Ben served 6 months in jail. After, she refused to let him come home unless he agreed to go to rehab. He refused and Nina didn't let him come home. Since then, Usnavi and I, or Nina gets a call when he is arrested or when he needs food.
"I'm going to hug my goddaughter." Nina says smiling.

I'm watching everyone when Usnavi comes over and holds my hand.
"What are you thinking Amor?"
"That Lucia has grown up way to fast, and that we have come so far."
"You have come so far. From that scared little girl, to a mama with a daughter graduated from high school."
"I couldn't have done it without you."
"Yes you could, but I am glad you didn't have to."
I grab him by the shirt, pull him into me, and kiss him.
"Eww. Tio, Tia!" Benita says, sounding grossed out.
We rest our heads together and laugh.
"I think someone needs hugs and kisses from Tio and Tia," Usnavi smirks at me.
We proceed to engulf Benita our hugs and kiss her cheeks, as she laughs.
"You two are gross."
"You love us though," I say, holding her close.

Early the next morning, I am woken to my phone ringing.
"Mama, is everything okay?"
"Vanessa, I need you to come over here."
"What is it Mama?"
"Just come please."
"Okay. I will be right over."
"Is everything okay?" Usnavi asks, waking up.
"I don't know. I need to go over to my moms'. I will be back when I can."
I put on my house coat, and walk over. The door is open when I get there.
"Mama, is everything okay?"
I see mama sitting on the couch, head in her hand. Her whole body is shaking with sobs.
"Mama, what's wrong?" I ask, fear racking my body.
She just points towards her bedroom. I walk in and see the light is on. At first glance, Mamí looks like she is just sleeping.
"Mamí, what is wrong with Mama?"
She doesn't answer. She doesn't even move.
"Mamí?"
I walk over, and touch her face. She is cold.
"Mamí! No Mamí. Please, no!" I feel for a pulse, but I know it isn't there. My mami is gone. Tears roll down my face. My heart breaks. I touch her face and kiss her again.
"Goodbye Mamí."
I hear steps and see Mama walking in the room.
"Mama? W...what happened?"
"I don't know. I woke up about ten minutes ago and found her. She was, is, cold. I knew there is nothing to do, but let you come say goodbye."
I walk over to Mama, and she collapses in my arms, her whole body shaking with sobs. I guide her to the couch, and we both cling to eachother. We cry until Mama has fallen asleep in my arms.
I then cover her with a blanket and walk back over to the apartment.
"Usnavi, wake up."
"I'm awake. Is everything okay?"
"No!" I croak. "It's Mamí. She died."
"What? What happened?"
"I don't know. Mama doesn't know. She just found Mamí. I... I need to wake this kids. They need to come say goodbye before we call it in."
"I will her Lucia, you go get Daniel."
I nod. I walk in his room and he is sleeping peacefully. It hurts my heart to know I'm about to flip his world upside. Him and Mamí had a close relationship.
"Mijo, wake up."
"Mama, what's going on?"
"Daniel, it's Abuela. She died last night. I want you to get a chance to say goodbye, before we call it in."
"What! What happened?"
I explain what happened. He nods and follows me. We walk out, just as Lucia and Usnavi come out. When we get over there, Lucia goes straight to Mama, and I take Daniel back. He cries as he says a silent goodbye to Mamí. Him and Mamí were close.
"Mama!" He reaches out for me, and I go to my son and hold him.
"Why? What happened?" He asks.
"We don't know. We won't know for a day or more. I wish I could tell you."
"Are you okay Mama?"
"No Mijo. I am not okay, but I will be here for you and your sister. That is my job. I know how close you and Abuela were."
"I'm going to miss her so much." He says, voice breaking.

A week later, after the autopsy, we bury Mamí. She was given a beautiful funeral. Mama has had a rough week, without her soulmate. She misses Mamí desperately.
Mama and I are sitting on the couch, when Mama's phone rings. She answers, talks for a few minutes, and hangs up.
"Well, I now know what took my Carla from us. She had a brain aneurysm. They say it would have been painless. She probably didn't even wake up."
"I guessing you had no clue that it was there."
She shakes her head. "No. She had been having headaches the last week, but they weren't that bad. She said she had been working hard and not drinking enough water, that is all. I should have made her go to the doctor."
"This is not your fault."
"I just wish I could have done more."
"You did the best thing you could. You loved her with all your soul and you made her happier than any other person in this world."
"I would argue that you made her the happiest. You were her pride and joy."
"I'm going to miss her so much." I say, wiping my tears.
"So will I."
Mama and I cling to each other crying. After a while, Usnavi comes over. He sees us and wraps us in his arms. "It gets easier. I promise."
I nod and lay my head on his shoulder.
"I love you guys, so much." He says.