Head in The Clouds

Expected and Unexpected Suprises

Vanessa age 34October
The last couple of months have been rough. Nina misses Benny bitterly. Claudia took his death hard. Nina says she is having nightmares often. Ben is too young to understand. I don't think he realizes his dad is gone and not coming back. He knows his mom and sister are sad and cries when they cry. Usnavi and I have been there a lot, to help take care of the kids.
Today, I am with Nina, at my house, when she suddenly turns and runs towards the bathroom. When she doesn't come crack after a few minutes, I go to follow her. I end up meeting her halfway.
"Hey, are you okay?"
"This grief, it is making me sick." She groans.
"I know Nina. It will eventually lessen."
"I have been puking everyday for the last three weeks. Almost like clockwork."
"Umm, Nina, any chance you are pregnant?"
"No. That would be cruel. It's not... I mean, the last time...."
"When?"
"A month before he died."
"And your last period?"
"Three months ago.  I... I just figured it was stress. I was watching my husband die before me. I wasn't sleeping or eating well.
"Let me get a test. Just to make sure. It could easily be stress and grief, but it also sounds a lot like pregnancy. I have one in my bathroom."
"Why do you have a pregnancy test in your bathroom."
"Umm, well, I am pregnant."
"How far along?"
"About three months. We found out last month."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"You are so sad. I was worried you would feel worse. Also, I have had miscarriage before. I was waiting to get past the first trimester."
"Vanessa, that is so great. I know you and Usnavi have been hoping for another baby, for a while."
I give her a sheepish smile. "Thanks."

Thirty minutes later, I hold Nina as she cries. She is holding the positive pregnancy test in her hands.
"How do you feel?"
"I... I don't know. Happy, heartbroken, angry. We had planned on stopping at two. Benny didn't want more than two. He dies, and now I am pregnant. What the hell! It just feels cruel at this point."
"I think he would be excited. Also, we get to be pregnant together and from the sounds of it, we are due around the same time."
"That part is pretty cool." She smiles.

Vanessa age 34 November.
Nina and I find out we are due on the exact same day. She had her initial appointment last week but couldn't get an ultrasound then. Today, we go to find out the gender of our babies.
"Mommy, can I go with you and Tia Vanessa."
"I'm okay with it." I shrug.
She smiles. "It could be a bit boring. There won't be much to see yet. Why do you want to come?"
"Well, daddy can't be there, so I want to be there. Daddy told me to watch over you and Ben. I thing he would want me there to hold your hand."
"Claudia, baby, I love you so much." Nina says smiling.
"Your daddy would be so proud of you, mi Tesoro." I tell her, leaning down to kiss her cheek.
"Thank you Tia."

Nina and I hold Claudia's hand as we walk into the doctor's office. We get checked in, and eventually brought back to the room. I am going first.
"I think it's a boy Tia." Claudia says, as the doctor is doing the ultrasound.
"Me too." I grin.
"Mrs Delavega, the little one is correct. You are having a little boy." The doctor says after a few moments.
She finishes up, wipes of my bump, and lets me up.
"Aww. Hi beautiful boy." I say, putting my hand on the top of my belly. "I can't wait to meet you."
Nina smiles and hugs me. Claudia puts her hand on my belly.
"I can't wait to meet you little cousin.

Twenty minutes later, it is finally Nina's turn. I see the anxiety and sadness in her eyes.
"Nina, we are here for you. Everything will be okay."
"I know. It just sucks. I miss my husband so much. This little one will never know its daddy."
"Mommy, I will tell him about daddy. He will still know him."
Claudia proceeds to stand next to her mom, and holds her hand.
"Mija, when did you grow up so much?"
Nina leans over and kisses Claudia on the forehead. "You are so much like your daddy."
Claudia smiles widely at this. "Really mommy. You think so?"
"I know so baby."
Claudia breaks into tears and Nina holds Claudia in her arms. I see the tears rolling down her face, which causes me to begin to cry.
The doctor finally comes in, seeing everyone with tears in their eyes. "Everything okay Mrs Rosario-Lewis?"
"Yeah. We are all just a tid bit emotional today. Also, call me Nina."
"I heard about your husband. My condolences."
"Thank you Doctor Jones."
The doctor gives us all tissues and sits down.
"Are you ready to find out the gender?"
"Yes!" Claudia says, jumping up and down.
A few minutes later, as we are watching the screen, I notice a familiar sight.
"Looks like you are have a baby boy."
"Yay, a brother. I wanted a sister, but I am happy with another brother.
She continues to capture photos, when her face suddenly changes.
"Is everything okay doctor?" Nina asks worried.
"Umm, well, there is a bit of a surprise. It looks like you are having twins. This is your first ultrasound, correct?"
"Yeah. Found out two weeks ago that I am pregnant."
"Well, you are having twins. One little boy, and one little girl."
I see the tears form in Nina's eyes again.
The doctor finishes up the ultrasound and we go home. There, I make Nina and I a cup of tea. "How, how am I going to raise four kids on my own?"
"Nina, you are not alone. You have your dad, my moms, Usnavi, and I. Most importantly, you have Claudia and Ben. They are going to be a big help to you."
"Yeah mommy. I will help you." Claudia says, walking in with her chocolate milk.
"Thank you."
She lays her hand on her stomach and smiles, tears rolling down her face.