Head in The Clouds

Trial

Vanessa age 13
I have been with Daniela and Carla for six months now. They are nice. I am going to school, for the first time in my life. I am having to do intense tutoring and private classes, to try and catch up. I also had to do summer school, which sucked. Living at Jake and Amy's, I learned to read with the help of Usnavi, but I am not very good. Even though I am in a seventh grade class, I am reading at a forth grade level right now. My math skills are at at a third grade level. 

Carla is working with me on multiplication, when I make another mistake. I get so frustrated, I take the book and throw it across the room.
"I can't do this. I am too stupid!" I yell.
"Mija, you are not stupid. You will get this, it just takes some patience."
"I'm not your Mija! My name is Vanessa!" I yell. "Stop calling me that. My name is Vanessa. Va-ness- a, my name is...."
"What is going on in here!" Dani yells, walking in the apartment. I jump out of my skin. I have never heard her yell before.  My blood runs cold, afraid of what she will do now. Before she has a chance to hit me, I run to my room, slam the door, and hide in my closet.

After, I don't know how long, my closet door opens. I see Daniella and curl up into myself, hiding my face.
"Don't hurt me. Please, don't. I won't yell again, I promise. It won't happen again, just don't hit me."
I don't look up, I just hold my knees, wait for the hit.
I hear the door close again. I feel her presence, but I don't look up. I am too scared. If she is not going to hit me, what is she going to do?
I sit there, for I have no idea how long, just waiting. Eventually, the tension leaves my body. I look up and see Daniela sitting in front of me. She brought in the lantern we use for blackouts, so there is a soft glow in the closet. To my surprise, she doesn't look mad. She looks sad. She has a tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.
"I.... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I just got so frustrated."
"Sweetheart, I am not mad. I am worried. Carla and I both are. I know yesterday was a rough day for you. Not only did you have to testify against your adopted parents, but you were also expecting to see Usnavi, which didn't happen. Carla and I heard you crying last night. You were still asleep, but you had tears rolling down your face. We sat with you until you eventually calmed down."
"You did?"
"Yes. You never woke up. Do you want to talk about your dream?"
"It is the same dream I have been having since the fire. I am in the attic, there is smoke surrounding me. I can't breath and Usnavi is no where to be seen. Like always, Matthew comes in and he hurts me like he used to."
"Vanessa, I wish I had the words to make you feel better. I don't though. I have never been hurt as deeply as you have been hurt. Neither has Carla. We can't imagine what you have been through. We want to help you, to the best of our ability. We want to be there for you, when you need us. We hope, that one day you can understand that we love you, the same as if one of us had given birth to you. Maybe, one day, you can talk to us about whatever you are feeling. Also never, in a million years, do you have to worry about us hurting you. That is something that is never ever going to happen. We will never strike or beat you. I can promise there won't be yelling, but we will try not to yell. I realize yelling can be a trigger for you. We don't want to do anything to hurt you more than you have already been hurt."
Listening to her talk, being so kind, becomes a bit overwhelming for me. The tears begin to roll down my face. She reaches her hand out to me, and I take it, sobbing. I allow her to pull me into her, and she holds me. She rocks me and whispers to me in Spanish. I am comforted, hearing her talk to me in Spanish.
Eventually, the door opens, and I hear Carla. I fall asleep to her holding my hands as Dani rocks me in her arms.

Vanessa age 13
It has been six months since I have had to last sit in a courtroom. It has been a year since I came to live with Dani and Carla. I feel more and more comfortable with them everyday.
Today, I am sitting in the court room, waiting to testify against Matthew. My heart is pounding, at the thought of having to see him again. The District attorney tried to make it, where I wouldn't have to face him. The judge ruled in favor of Matthew's attorney. Dani and Carla were pissed. They told me I don't have to testify. There is enough evidence to send him away. I am determined he will go away for as long as possible.
Carla grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze. "Are you ready sweetheart?"
I nod.
"Don't forget, just keep your eyes on us. We will be here the entire time."
They each hug me and I walk to the stand. I tell the court everything. From the first time he started touching me, to the first time he forced himself in me. When I am finished, tears are rolling down my cheeks. I look up to Dani and Carla, and they are crying too. Every part of me wants to run to them, and have them hold me. I want to be a little girl, who crawls up into their lap, and never has to feel what I am feeling right now.
Matthew's attorney asks me a few questions. After, I am dismissed.
As I walk back to my seat, Amy glares at me.
"Whore!" She hisses as I pass her. Her words feel like a knife in my gut. I try to push them down, and keep walking.
I go to Carla and Dani, and they each hold my hand. They lead me out of the court room. When we are in the hall, I run to the bathrooms and I am sick. After, Carla wraps her arm around me and kisses the top of my head. I cry as she holds me.
"You were so brave sweetheart."
I lay my head on her shoulder. "Thank you."
Dani hands me a tissue and I wipe my face.
"Dani, Carla, I... I love you guys. Thank you, for everything."
Dani grabs my face, and kisses my forehead. "We love you to Mija."