I Need U (Jikook)

I still love you

(Vote Goal - 20)

JUNGKOOK POV

I was apprehensive when mom announced that she was holding a welcome party for me. I wish I could say I was happy and excited to see others but in fact, I find myself feeling anxious and afraid. I wanted to give my attention to everyone but my eyes were fixed on the main door. I was waiting for Jimin.

I missed him.

Scratch that I died without him.

Till now most were here, only Jimin and his family and Yoongi hyung were absent. And I was afraid to face those two. Everyone was walking on eggshells around me. I know what I did was wrong. But I want to do it right. And I will even beg Park Jimin if I have to. These two years were hell for me and I remorse it the most. If I can change anything I will never decide to leave without telling him.

But I needed that. For me. For him. For us.

Namjoon, Hobi and Jin hyung was not their regular self and I knew they were afraid too. I was in contact with them all those two years and hell in the first year they never leave a chance to taunt me to make me remember of my wrong decisions.

Words hurt deeper than swords.

And their words were breaking me but they understand when I informed them that I was visiting a psychiatrist for four months in America. I told them everything from why I broke up to why I fly away. They were hard to talk at first but they understood at last. They even helped me in those two years when I was alone and thought several times to run back home. Run back to jimin.

I was a coward.

I know everyone in this room will be against me perusing jimin again. But I accept that and will prove them that I have changed for better. I am a better person for my chim. Yoongi hyung still don't talk to me so competently but I realize it's because he is close to Jimin as compared to others.

I used to beg them to let me know how he was. Did he hate me now? Did he fall in love with someone else? How he handled the two years? But thr didn't tell me anything. Their point, that they don't inform him about me even tho he keeps asking because I told them not to, so it was fair if they don't tell me about Jimin. I shattered.
Tae slipped while talking to me one day on the call and informed me that Jimin got a panic attack when he heard the news. He was taken to the hospital.

I cried that day.

But then there was not a single day I don't cry. Yesterday when I entered the cafe I was shocked to see him. I was delighted, he was in front of me. He looked healthy but his eyes didn't twinkle when he saw me. He was stunned to see me. I will give him that. But my soon find happiness turned into a frown when I saw that brown hair guy grabbing my chim wrist. Being protective of him. That's my duty.

But if that kid was his boyfriend and he was happy and didn't need me anymore I will try to move on. I am still standing the way Jimin left me on that day at the party. Or more like I fucked up.

I was stressed that day okay!

Don't give me shit saying I should have told him and all. I was drinking in the first place to gather some courage and inform him about my scholarship. Hell, I even informed my professor that I will not leave Korea. Everyone I needed was here but life never goes our way. Karma bite me hard that day. Yeri was karma.

Yeri was obsessed over me and she ordered her little friend Lisa to send those letters in Jimin locker as they were in the same school. She was yearning for my break up from a very long time but those letters didn't do anything. In fact, it was a push for me to be more open to him.

But that day I was not so lucky. I was drunk and smoked a lot at that party. Fuck because of that day I still don't do parties. Because of that I even joined those meets in America who help you to leave smoking and drinking. And I finally stop doing those. I was no more an addict as they used to say.

I was going to tell him, believe me, but then Yeri provoked him and I was frustrated to see that he believed her. Okay, he asked me but I still hope he would have taken that conversation to the safety of his room. I was not in my control and I fucked up. He left me that day. I pushed my only source of light that day.

I was kicked out of my thoughts when Namjoon jabbed me hard. I was going to glare at him but soon freeze when I saw Jimin was here. And not only that he was directly looking at me. But as soon our eyes met he moved his eyes. I was hurt. I got rejected twice.

He didn't want me. He didn't need me.

Soon mom was clapping to get everyone attention. There were not too many people.

"Good evening everyone. As you know Jungkook arrived here yesterday evening and this is a welcome party for him. Thanks for attending everyone."
She announced. She gave me a look and I don't know what to do.

"Speak"
Tae whispered beside me.

I coughed and soon I was receiving various types of expression. Hate, hope, warmth and hard looks. But what hurt me most was that Jimin was not looking me. Did he not wanted to be here? I shake my head getting rid of those depressing thoughts.

I can't fall in depression again.

I can't lose Jimin this time.

"Thank you, everyone. Uhm...I know some of you don't entertain me even for a second but I will sure to change that. I am here finally and never going anywhere again. So I have a lot of time to make things right again." I sighed.

When I looked up Jimin was looking at me with an unreadable expression. Okay here goes everything. I looked straight in his eyes and continued
"This time I will fight for those who I love."

I still love you Park Jimin.

VOTE • COMMENT • FOLLOW
🌻

Did you like that?
This chapter was to present things from Jungkook perspective.
More jikook coming in next update.

Please leave your precious comments.