Chapter 17 Part 1 "Das erloschene Feuer entfacht immer wieder"

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*Play the song above for the theme of this part

POV Tantri

I don't know what is happening to me, all I can hear is the faint cacophony of voices I hear that slowly fade away and turned into silence. My two closed eyelids don't want to open themselves.

I can only see the darkness that sometimes turns red and then turns black again. Am I in the realm of the grave? No, from the islamic lectures I often watched and listen to, the teachers said that if you are in the grave then you will be asked by two angels about your deeds but so far no voice has asked me about anything. What's happening to me actually?

I see the darkness around me turned into a light filled with white light. This dazzling light slowly subsided and then I could clearly see the figure of an old man with light brown hair and part of his face covered with wrinkles, he was wearing his uniform complete with his hat. Ah, father. His face smiled brightly at me then he hugged me tightly and kissed the top of my head gently, what's happening?

"Mijn dochter, het spijt me. (My daughter, I'm sorry.)" he told me then he release his hug and took off the hat he was wearing on his head. He looked at his hat that he's holding on his hand for a moment, took a deep breath and then exhaled, then his eyes slowly turned to me and he put his hat on my head.

"Ik moet gaan. (I must go.)" he said to me, holding my shoulders with his hands. I just stared at him without saying a word but for some reason, I felt tears flowing down from both corners of my eyes.

"When will you come home?" I asked him in a sad tone filled with sobs.

Ah, that sentence, the line I used to say when I was little whenever my father left me to work.

"I'm sorry, I don't know, my superior called me. You have to be a strong police girl and guard our house, can you do that?" he asked me, I just nodded slowly with a stream of tears that I tried to fade so as not to come out again then tilted my head at him and slowly raised my right hand that was shaking up to my forehead, saluting him.

"Sir, yes ... sir ... sob ... sob ... sob ..." I said to him.

After that, he gave me his salute then turned around and walked towards the door of our house, opened it and walked out and closed it. Slowly, everything I saw gradually became blurry and disappeared from my face. My two eyes opened themselves, glanced here and there to look around so I could understand what was happening to me.

I was lying on the bed in a hospital in patient room, the wall-mounted LCD TV in front of my bed where I was lying showed a news broadcast with a headline entitled, several officers in the police force are under investigation for the murder of Chief Investigator Erwin Dekker. That's ... my father's name.

Ah, so that's what have happened. My Father was murdered because he knew too much. Father, in my dream he said he was called by his superior, he also put his hat on my head, asked me to be a strong police girl and guard our house. I think I understand what he is asking from me.

Father, with all due respect, I feel like I would never be fit to wear the hat you put on your head. The burden you carry on your shoulders is heavier than the burden that I can carry upon my own but if that's your command, I guess I can only say, sir yes sir.

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German Dictionary

Das erloschene Feuer entfacht immer wieder = The dying fire rekindled again.

*Trivia

The reason of why this part's title is using German language is because the Dekker family/Dekker surname came from a region from Germany which used to be called as Prussia. If you want to know more read the trivia section in Chapter 10 Part 1 "The Search For New Partners".

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