It's Okay, Draco

Chapter 57

Last night was a nightmare for everyone, specially for Harry, I still remember him, kneeled down next to Dumbledore's lifeless body that had fell from the tower.

I haven't spoke with anyone after I ran away from the Hagrid's hut like if someone was chasing me down, I packed before Charlotte even appeared there, and went straight to bed, but I couldn't sleep, everytime I closed my eyes, Draco's face when he was supposed to make the worst sin of all, haunted me.

He was doing it to protect me, all this time, it wasn't because he was just going through something, but because he hoped that leaving me Voldemort would stop threatening my life.

I had to maintain my eyes open, everytime I closed and saw only the darkness, my cursed memories haunted me down like a prey.

Of course, when Charlotte arrived I pretended I was asleep, I had no intentions to speak with her whatsoever, I just wanted to go home.

The whole school was quiet the next day, the corridors dark, hopeless, Hogwarts is not the safest place, not anymore when the own Headmaster is killed right under his nose.

Even after the whole night awake, with my gaze focused on the black lake that was outside my window, reflecting the water inside the dorm, I still didn't know how to organize my thoughts, there was so much things that have been revealed that I didn't know what to think about first.

I couldn't picture what Draco has been through all this time, I've been through hell and back, and so did he, the difference was, that he never left hell, he's trapped in a ring of fire, because he was the devil, and devil's are not made for light they're made to bring chaos and death.

He thinks that I see him as a monster now, I saw it for the way our gazes locked together for one last time before he left, but I see everything but a monster in him, I remember how he couldn't do it, he was trying to protect me but at the same time he wasn't capable to take someone's life.

Having to carry out the fate to take someone's life, there wasn't a greater sin, a sin that represented hell itself, having the weight of cursing someone's fate on it's shoulders is the same as carrying the whole world, an unbearable weight.

There was still someone I could speak with, someone I knew it would never disappoint me or ever leave me, my father, I don't see him for almost a year now, and I need him more than ever, because I don't know to who else to resort to.

With him I knew there wasn't going to be surprises or shocking revelations.

As soon as I stepped out of the Hogwarts Express, I gave my father the tightest hug, a hug I was needing for a long time, a hug that no one cared enough to give me.

I was waiting to get home to speak with him about, pretty much everything, although he seemed very nervous when he saw me, not broken, I could feel a bit of regret on his eyes, which was no good coming from him.

I hoped the house would look the same as last time, but it was different, some antiquated, wooden furniture was broken, the old retro couch seemed used for more than a person when I saw the pillows replaced, and at least three cups of tea on the top of the glass table, the curtains hanged, one of them hanged for dear life, all scratched and ripped off, and old, family boxes that before were on the basement, were now spread along the big living room table.

It smelled like it was rotten, my house, the paintings of my old family generations, unmoved, already covered on the musty and greasy spider web, not to speak about some diamond chandeliers which light was always flashing, the mahogany red carpets were dirty, and more than a footprint was distinguishable in there, and they all stopped at my father's office door.