A Reason to Exist

Chapter 19

This was the moment I fell for Tucker, like crazy – the moment I practically had a heart attack, without the cardiac arrest.

Zuri and I went to the skate park after school on Tuesday. I was busting to show her the new tricks I'd learned on the weekend. I channelled my father's supportive words, imagined the foam pit and the airbag, and I launched off the edge into the flow confidently. My smile met the breeze, a highbrow audience applauded, the sunshine followed me like a spotlight. When I stepped off my board smoothly, Zuri wrestled me with a celebratory hug. 'Go you!' she squealed.

'It's not a fluke,' I said. 'I've been practicing with dad.' I could hardly contain the smile on my face.

'I know. I can hardly believe my eyes.'

I did it again, riding the flow smoothly and finished it just as gracefully. This time Zuri hugged me even tighter. 'I never thought I'd see the sight,' she said. 'I love ya, you know that, but gee ... can I be honest?'

'Of course,' I said, catching my breath.

'I thought you were always going to be a lousy skater. I mean, it's fun hanging out here, but your skating has been kind of constipated.'

I laughed. 'I know ... you don't need to tell me ...'

Soon after, Tucker and two of his friends arrived, pulling an Esky on a skateboard by a rope. They stopped by the grass and set up a wireless speaker with their Spotify playlist. Tucker saw me and called out 'hey there' and a luscious feeling seized my body.

Zuri and I walked over, holding our skateboards in our hands.

'Red Bull or V?' Tucker offered. I peered into their Esky and saw that it was full of energy drinks.

'V, I guess. I've never had one before,' I admitted.

'Bloody hell,' Tucker said. 'You've never had an energy drink?'

'They're on my mother's blacklist.'

I opened the can, hearing it fizz, feeling as though my life was finally starting to be lived. It was just an energy drink, but it was the first time I felt good about misbehaving. I'd tried being the good girl for too long, but now I knew my mother was bat shit crazy, what does it all matter?

I took a sip of the V, sweet and fizzy. Focus darted to my brain. I didn't know what I was enjoying more, the drink or being rebellious. I smiled at Tucker and thought to myself the more time I spend with you, the more carefree I can be like you. My heart was pounding, I could hear it in my ears; it was a cocktail of caffeine and guarana and infatuation and the thrill of casting off the shackles of obedience.

'Some nice moves Macy,' Tucker said. 'I saw you from over there. You been practicing?'

'I spent the weekend with my dad,' I said. 'We skated most of Sunday.'

'Well, you're looking good.'

One of his friends started playing Allday on the speaker.

'We're going to a party in Braybrook Saturday night. Do you two wanna come?' Tucker asked. 'We're meeting at Tottenham Station at 9pm.'

'We'd love to,' Zuri said.

I was ticking it over in my mind. I'd be at my mum's and Saturday night was usually kale chips and a doco.

'You should stay at mine,' Zuri said. Bless her, she knew that things would be easier that way.

'Sorted,' Tucker said. 'Get a late pass. It's an all hours gig.' He stepped onto his board and glided towards the flow. Then he turned his head and looked at me, his smile a red light district, and tilted his head as if he wanted me to follow.