I knocked on his door, my breath cramping in my throat. I felt unsure. How would I ever be able to act normal again with the boy who was my first?
He opened the door and smiled, his teeth white against his navy blue t-shirt. He put me at ease with a tilt of the head and a knowing look, before he leant in and kissed me, lightly, respectfully. He is affirmation of existence, my positive result, he is coloured coral in a decimated reef. He is single origin.
I held him closer and dearer.
'You okay?' he asked.
'Of course,' I said.
'Like after last night? You're happy still?
His uncertainty was my aphrodisiac. I loved him more. I kissed him harder. I said with my tongue what I wanted to say. I am deliriously happy and I want more.
'I could hardly sleep,' I said.
'Me neither. It took me forever to fall asleep. I feel all loved up. I kept thinking about next time and everything I want to do with you. It's like every thought I have is for you. My whole morning was spent having a non-stop conversation with you in my head.'
I laughed. 'I couldn't even hear what my mother was saying to me over breakfast,' I said. 'I've become all consumed with you.'
'Exactly. Damn, I hate that I have to do the vids today. I just want to lie in bed with you. Instead I have to be a performing monkey. I'd cancel if they weren't leaving the country on Tuesday.'
'There's plenty of time for us,' I said. 'This is important. You've got to make the most of an opportunity like this.'
'Yeah, I guess. But you're the greatest opportunity I've ever had.' His words bloated my heart, I kissed him, warm and gentle, our tongues stirring, his hand on my cheek like he was cradling a precious object.
'Come on,' I said, pulling myself away. 'It's your big day, superstar.'
He frowned. 'These skating vids don't feel like I thought they would. It's weird. You get something you thought you wanted and you realise maybe it's not what you needed. Maybe you were better off before doing things your own way. Like it feels like a compromise somehow. Anyway,' he paused, 'first world problems, hey? I should be grateful.' He went to kiss me again.
'Come on,' I said. 'Stop procrastinating. Let's do this. Where do we have to be?'
'Flinders Street Station. They're meeting us there.'
'Okay, then. Let's go.'
YOU ARE READING
A Reason to Exist
Teen FictionSometimes falling in love is the most dangerous trick to land ... Macy always follows the rules. For years, her mother has warned her that the world is full of toxins and accidents waiting to happen. Tucker lives next door. He doesn't follow any rul...
