A Reason To Go On

Chapter 16

Alexia's POV

I'm surrounded by darkness, i can hear voices but they seem too far away to make out what they are saying. I try to open my eyes to escape the darkness but my body doesn't seem to want to comply. I'm not sure how long Ive been in the darkness, it only seems like a few hours but in reality it could be longer as i have no sense of time. I try again to open my eyes as i can feel someone touching my hand, the voice sounds like my mums, but I'm not one hundred percent sure ' come on body obey me' i think, i decide to try moving my hand to let her know I'm trying to wake up, but even that is taking a stain. The feeling of someone holding my hand disappears to be replaced by something else. I'm not sure what is now resting on my hand, but i can feel the warmth coming off what ever it is. I concentrate really hard, I'm about to give up when i manage to get my hand to twitch. Whatever was resting on my hand suddenly leaves, maybe they felt me? Encouraged by the fact i actually managed to get my hand to move i concentrate on doing the same to my eyes. I just want to get away from the darkness and actually see something, anything really would be better than the darkness. I feel someone running their hand through my hair but my stupid eyes still refuse to open. Concentrating really hard again I'm manage to get them to flutter, just as the hand leaves my hair my eyes open. 

At first im not too sure what I'm seeing as everything seem blurry, once my eyes finally adjust the first thing I'm looking at is my mums shocked face. I notice then that she has tears running down her eyes, why would she be crying? What happened? I look around and notice that I'm not in my room, where am i?

"Alexia" my mum whispers, i look at her, and shes looks like shes not sure if its me, have i been in an car accident or something, and now my face is disfigured? i think to myself. I try to say her name but nothing comes out of my mouth. "I'll go get the doctor, i'll be right back" my mums says. Doctor? so i must be in hospital or something, but why would i be here? A middle aged lady enters the room with a big smile on her face, i vaguely recognize her, "hello Alexia, I'm Dr Stacy, its so good that your finally awake". Finally awake? What does she mean by that? How long was i in the darkness for? She must have seen my confused face "Alexia, you've been in a coma for nearly two weeks, do you not remember?" she asks. I attempt to speak again but my voice comes out scratchy, my mum hands me a glass of water and i guzzle it down greedily. "Don't remember" i manage to get out audibly. I notice my mum and the Dr share a look but I'm not sure what it means. I'm feeling sleepy again and i can feel my eyes dropping, my mum must have noticed "get some sleep Alexia, we can talk more in the morning". I want to argue that i need to know now whats happened, but my body fails me once again and i feel myself drifting of into sleep.

I wake up to the sound of voices, it sounds like my mums voice but i can only catch some words as shes talking so low  "wake up soon.......Jayden........doesn't remember". Jayden? who's Jayden? And then my memory seems to hit me like a train, everything that's happened between us the last few months hits me like a slap in the face. My last memory is of my birthday and feeling the familiar pain, i remember getting to be bedroom, but nothing after. Maybe i hit my head when i passed out? It must have been some bang though for me to have been in a coma for so long. Needing the answer to my unanswered questions i open my eyes to let anyone who's in the room know that I'm awake. I'm immediately engulfed in a hug from my mum, its so tight i wonder if its possible to die from lack of oxygen? Death be hugging would probably be about right for me with my luck recently i think darkly to myself! "Mum cant breathe" i manage to get out, she quickly releases me looking very guilty, i then notice my dad, he approaches me slowly before giving me a comforting hug. Once they both seem satisfied that Ive been hugged enough they position themselves on my bed, one at each side so they can both hold my hands. "Mum what happened?", my mums looks torn on what to tell me and i notice mum and dad both sharing a weird 'look'. "What do you mean Alexia, what do you remember?". I want to tell my mum that i remember everything right up until my birthday being in a bedroom, but that would mean having to tell them about Jayden, i so do not want to go down that route, deciding to be a little vague i reply "I remember my birthday, and then i wasn't feeling well again, so i went to my room and then its blank".  My parents share another look which i cant work out and again seem to both have internal battles on what to tell me. I mean what could be so bad? Ive decided that i couldn't have been in a car accident because surely i would remember leaving the house. Trying to sit up a little i notice my stomach is a little tender. Ok so i seem to have banged my head for me to be in a coma, but why would be stomach hurt? Maybe i banged it when i collapsed? My brain is trying to put the missing pieces together without any success, i have no idea what happened and its frustrating me. My dad is the one to answer and it shocks me.

"Alexia we know about Jayden, why didn't you tell us?" he looks sad when he says this but i also see anger in his eyes too. Jayden? What has he got to do about what happened? He wasn't even there, and how do they even know about him? I only told....."Casey" i reply, feeling very betrayed that she would tell them, it was our secret. "Don't be mad at Casey, i can see it in your eyes that you are annoyed, but you have to understand, after i found you and brought you here we needed to know what happened" my mum replied. "Why" is the other thing i manage to ask, I'm still upset with Casey to get out a coherent sentence. "Alexia, when we brought you here your body was emaciated, you nearly died, there was so much blood, and your body was too weak to heal. We needed to know how you could have become so skinny, i thought you had an eating disorder for goddess sake", my mum shouts a little at the end so i know shes angry that i kept this from her. So much blood? I must have fell really hard into something for me to be bleeding, i think to myself. "I'm sorry mum, i was just so embarrassed that he would reject me, Ive always dreamed of finding my mate, and getting my happily ever after, its cliche i know, but i just wanted to be loved. Instead he used me and rejected me, i thought i could deal with the pain, but it kept getting worse" i felt tears running down my cheeks, i left them untouched, i still felt shame from being foolish enough to give Jayden my virginity only for him to reject me afterwards. I felt my mums arms embrace me "Oh hunny if you would have just told us we could have helped you, did you know that your wolf nearly died from the pain, and your death would have followed not long after if you would have continued suffering in silence". My wolf could of died? I had no idea, i know she was getting weaker and barely spoke to me towards the end, but to actually lose her is unthinkable! This is all Jaydens fault, i hate him more now if that's even possible. "Alexia there's something else you need to know, somethings that important and we need to discuss it. Before i tell you, i need you to know we will support you so try not to panic ok? Panic, whats my dad going to tell me that's so bad i could panic? Did i do something really bad before blacking out? Maybe it was so terrible my minds blocking it out? I just nod my head to let my dad know to continue.

"Alexia, you were pregnant that's why you blacked out from the amount of blood you lost, you have a son"

Ok so that was definitely not one of the possibilities running through my mind before he spoke, how could i have had a baby? I wasn't even pregnant!  Various thoughts run through my head trying to digest this information but my brain cant process everything quick enough and i pass out.