A Reason To Go On

Chapter 21

Jayden's POV

Its been two weeks since Alexia had Ryder over night, since it went really well she wanted him more and now has him every other night. I'm happy that shes getting a chance to bond with our son, i never wanted to raise him by myself. The only problem is i miss him so much when hes not here, since he was born Ive spent every night with him, even at the hospital i never left his side at night. Not having him every night hurts, and my wolf is always restless when hes not here, needing his son also. I do have a plan though, but I'm not sure Alexia is going to go for it, i was going to wait but not having Ryder with me is driving my wolf and i crazy so Ive decided to take a chance.

Walking into Alexia's lounge i immediately see her sat on the sofa tickling Ryder and making him giggle, its so nice to watch the way they have bonded, its like shes been there the whole time. "Having fun?" i ask her with a raised eyebrow. She jumps in fright because she was that caught up with Ryder she didn't hear me come in. "A little warning next time Jayden, you nearly gave me a heart attack" but shes laughing so i know shes not mad. Hearing her laugh is one of the best sounds in the world, over the last few weeks she seems to be laughing more and more. "I've got his things together ready for you" she informs me but looks unhappy about the fact I'm hear to take him. "Actually i was planning on taking him to the zoo today, why don't you join us?" i ask hopefully. "I don't know Jayden, its your time with him i don't want to interfere" she says. See this is my other problem, us dividing Ryder's time between us, i hate it, i really just want us to be a family but Alexia keeps talking about our 'friendship' and i don't want to push her away so i just go along with what she says. I even ended up agreeing that if i fall in love i'll mate with someone else. Yeah that's not going to happen, i know i'll only love one person and shes standing in front of me, but i agree with her for her sake.

"Come on Alexia, its just  day out, and Ryder wants you to come with us, right buddy?" i look at my son and tickle him, he makes some gurgling noises "See, even he agrees with me, plus Ive got a surprise i want to show you after". She raises her eyebrow at me "you know i don't like surprises" i was expecting this from her, i know she hates been taken by surprise, she tries to plan every aspect of her life. Even when i was being unfaithful, she had a routine, which i found astonishing. "Who said the surprise if for you?" i smirk at her. She still looks unsure so i continue "Come on Alexia its a day at the zoo and then Ive got something to show you, what have you got to lose?". I see her debating with herself but she knows I'm right, "Ok just give me 10 minutes to get changed" she says handing me Ryder. I was going to say she looked fine as she was but didn't want to sound like a perv, she has on some short shorts, with a tight tank top, her hair was in a messy bun, overall she looked sexy as hell. SNAP OUT OF IT, i think to myself feeling my arousal, i mean seriously I'm holding my son, its so wrong, but i cant help it, Ive not slept with anyone since Ryder was born, so my hormones are all over the place, it doesn't help that everything about my mate turns me on.

"I'm ready" Alexia announces breaking me out of my not so innocent thoughts, i think i need a cold shower, but with no time i settle on being uncomfortable and head for the car, grabbing Ryder's things on the way out.

Walking round the zoo while pushing Ryder in his pushchair with Alexia by my side is making my wolf purr. Hes so happy that we're spending the day with both our mate and our son, and i have to agree with him. We look like a happy family walking along, except the fact Alexia avoids physical contact with me. I know its because of the sparks it creates as we've discussed this before. Apparently when we touch it confuses her feelings and as shes already dealing with enough she cant worry about anything else right now. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable around me so try and avoid touching her, for now.

"Lets go see the tigers" Alexia requests while jumping on the spot like a toddler. "Remind me again who's the child and who's the responsible adult here" i tease her. "Oh shut up" she says and lightly pushes me, as soon as her hand makes contact with my arm i feel the delicious sparks running through me causing me to shiver in a good way. I look over at Alexia and she looks conflicted, not wanting to ruin the great day we've been having i quickly interject "come on lets see these tigers Ryder before mummy dies of excitement". Ryder giggles and this seems to break Alexia out of her mood as we head towards the tiger exhibit.

"So what you going to do now that you've graduated?" Alexia randomly asks me as we are stood inspecting the monkeys. I thinks about it before answering, i had plans to take off for a couple of years studying before i had to take over as Alpha, but now i couldn't imagine leaving Ryder or Alexia. Just knowing i wont have to leave them both makes dads offer that more appealing. "Dads offered to make me a partner in R.M.P, hes going to train me and also arrange on-line business classes, so i can work around Ryder" i reply. (R.M.P stands for Raoul Moonlight Pack, but because of the humans he abbreviated it, he owns a large real estate company). "That's good of your dad, but then if hes like mine i assume he wants to hand the business down to his son, just like my dad with Markus" is her reply. "What about you miss smarty pants, what are you going to do?" i tease. After she woke up from her coma she didn't want to go back to school, she had more than enough extra credits to graduate early so she did, i never realized before just how smart she really is. "To be honest Casey and i planned on getting as far away from here as possible, but things change. I couldn't imagine leaving Ryder, and to be honest I'm not sure what i wanted to major in anyway, so I'm going to take a year off. When my grandparents died they left me plenty of money, and as Ive never touched it before i'll use that to support us for now". Her grandparents died six years ago in a car accident, her grandfather ran a large corporate company, I'm not sure what in, but i know  the company made millions, so i know she will have been left quite a lot, more than enough to support her and Ryder, i just want to be the one to support them both and provide for them. At least now we will both be staying here, and i cant help but hope she goes for my idea now.

Pulling up at the two story house, i notice Alexia giving me a quizzical look, i get out of the car and remove Ryder from his car seat, walking up the door Alexia doesn't say anything she just follows me. I open the door and lead her into the large open planned lounge / kitchen, i watch her face trying to gauge a reaction but it remains blank. I show her the rest of the downstairs which consists of three more rooms and an indoor swimming pool. Leading her upstairs i notice crease lines on her forehead like shes trying to work something out, but she remains quiet. I show her three bedrooms all equipped with en-suite, just as I'm leading her into the final bedroom she actually startles me by speaking "What is this place Jayden? Why are you showing me it?". I knew this question was going to come up, i was actually expecting it earlier, taking a deep breath i reply.

"This is my house, the one i want to raise Ryder in. I also have to confess i lied to you" she gasps at this but i continue "I actually hate being away from him on the nights you have him, i love the bond you have but i just miss him so much, which is why I'm hoping you will agree to move in with us".