Loving Flynn (Cali/New York Men Series)

Chapter 14 - Ellie

"Flynn baby. Please, can you hear me?" I whisper in his ear. My tears coat his bare chest. I push down the bile rising in my throat as I watch him lay on the hospital gurney.

The doctors rushed past, strapping cords to his chest, taking blood from his arm and doing everything they could to figure out what was happening.
I don't let go of him, though; I refuse to leave his side because I need to be there when he wakes up; I need him to wake up. It's been three hours of tests, and they won't tell me anything. Because im, not family. The only thing allowing me to stay in this room right now is that I was there when he collapsed.

I've never felt panic like I had when I saw him fall. I don't think I'll ever get that image out of my mind. He was fine moments before, and then he just wasn't.
The sterile hospital makes me want to crawl out of my skin.

Flynn's family is still a while away from getting here, and I keep telling myself that he is okay; he'll wake up before they arrive. This was just a freak thing. Maybe he didn't eat or drink enough. He's been working himself into the ground the last few months, and the pressure of it has just gotten too much. Yeah, that's what this is. He's going to wake up.

But the more time that ticks past the more tears fall. I trace his long fingers with my hand and kiss his palm.

"You know, I've been unconditionally happy for the first time in a long time. That's because of you. You make every day a little bit better than the one before, and I don't know what I would do without you; you've somehow woven yourself into my skin, and I do not want you to weave your way back out, so I'm asking you please for me, please wake up so I can see that perfectly place scowl and those beautiful eyes. So I can tell you that you're a grump, and you can tell me that I eat rainbows for breakfast. Just wake up so I can see that smile that you only wear for me. I need you to wake up because I love you so much, and I didn't get a chance to tell you yet."
Each word I speak to him as he lays there is punctured, fractured with the worry he won't hear me. Laced with tears and the fear that the last time he spoke with me was the last time he'll be with me again.
"Oh, darling." A soft feminine voice startles me. An older woman crying tears of her own stands at Flynn's door. His mother. The resemblance is uncanny. I wipe my eyes and runny nose on my jacket sleeve and stand, moving to leave.

"Mrs Stone. I'm so sorry." As I gesture to my now empty seat, I try to have her take my place, but she hugs me instead, and I cave. I hold onto the woman who gave the man I love life and fall apart in her embrace just as she falls apart in mine.

Two hours later and Flynn is still not awake. The doctors have said that it may take a little while as his vitals dropped so low that his body is adjusting back. I know they spoke to his mother outside as I held his hand and traced his face with my fingers.
She came back silent and teary, but she hadn't said anything, and it was killing me not to ask. This is her son I have to remember that. I shouldn't be here. I should leave even though it'll kill me.

"Mrs Stone."
"Evelyn." She replies once again. Right. She asked me to call her by her name.

'Mrs stone is my mother-in-law.' She stated earlier.

"Evelyn, I'm going to go, I'm not family, and I'm taking up space that your daughter and husband will soon need." I sniffle and wipe my eyes.
"Just please, If he wakes up, please tell him I was here, okay?"
Evelyn holds her hand for me, and I place mine in hers.
"How long ago since you've eaten something?" She asks me.

The question confuses me but I answer anyway.
"Breakfast this morning before we went to work."

She nods her eyes soften even more. The lines around them are prominent, and worry radiates off her for her son.
"Why don't you go downstairs and have a break? Eat something. Take a nap. You've been here for hours. If he wakes up, I'll have someone come and get you. Just stay here; I know my son, and if you say you love him, I know he'll want you here when he wakes up."

I sniffle again but nod."Okay, I'll just be downstairs, please, if you need.."

"I know, darling, it's okay." She replies.I nodded, not wanting to cry again. I look over at Flynn again before I turn and close the door to his room. Leaving my heart inside with him.I don't remember falling asleep, but the taps on my shoulder wake me. The cafeteria sits almost empty as the moonlight filters in. I must have dozed off. What time is it?

"Ms Hudson?" A nurse with tired eyes asks.

"Yes." I stand almost too quickly that I grab onto the chair for stability.

"Mr Stone is awake. His family asked for someone to find you."

"Thank you, thank you," I say, grabbing my purse and rushing off to the elevators.
The walk is more of a sprint to his room, I'm about to rush in, but I hear something that stops me in my tracks.

"I need you to tell her to leave." It's Flynn. His voice is hoarse, but it has its usual edge. He's upset.

"Honey, I think that you should talk to her, explain-." Evelyn encourages him, but he's quick to cut her off.

"No."

I walk into the doorway before I can stop myself. I need to know what's happening.

"Flynn, you're awake." The tears begin to well again. He's here. He's okay and staring at me like my presence is breaking him in two.

"I'm just going to go speak to the nurse. I'll be just outside." She squeezes my arm as she walks outside and closes the door behind me. I walk over to his bedside and grasp his hand, but he pulls it away.

"Listen, Ellie. You should go." I look at him, and my lip quivers.

"Why?"

"Because I fucking said so, okay!" He's angry, but his eyes aren't meeting mine. So I stand in front of him, so he has to. I hold his face in my hand, and his face pinches like my touch physically pains him.

"What happened? Please tell me what the doctor said. I need to know you're okay."

"Listen, Ellie, you and me; look, it was a fucking mistake, okay? And I need you to leave it alone. It's done okay?"

"Done?"

"Yeah, done. I need you to be professional and return to work like we never happened."
I scoff at him as tears fall uncontrollably.

"Did I do something? I thought you were my boyfriend and I was... I don't understand.."

"What's there to understand? We had some fun, but now it's over. I know you love your job, and I want you to stay. I just don't want to fuck you anymore, okay?"

"Fuck me?" Why is he saying this? Why is he trying to hurt me?

"You should go." He bites. Again his face contorts as though every word disgusts him, yet he still says them.
Every thought in my head is erased. Every moment we shared was tainted. My heart feels like it's being ripped from my chest.
I don't want him to see me cry, so I just walk out without a second glance. Once again, leaving my heart in his room. This time though, it's crushed beyond repair.